This true story, which happened to me many years ago, still does not leave my memory. And I really want you, dear readers, to know about my story. I will never forget the sensations and feelings that I experienced when I was waiting for my dear mother in my bed. While my brother and sister were sleeping...
My heart was beating like a steam hammer, my thoughts were racing in a frenzied round dance... And my groin was filled with the sweet languor of excitement, incredible in its severity... These feelings cannot be described. A chilling shiver somewhere under the heart in front of the unknown, but so desired and just about to happen. Anticipation.. Fear.. No, even horror, from the consciousness of what I already dared to say to my own mother.. And not even to say, but with such unexpected ease to demand from her.
Just demand... And as if not a son from his mother, but a master of his slave. As if this is how it should be and she is simply obliged to fulfill my whim.
Eh, if it weren't for Andreevich's nutcracker, I would probably never have decided to say THIS to my own mother..
Although.. Remembering the three previous days that my mother was visiting me.. For three days, it was like a sleepwalker, torn between a sudden and wild desire for her and the son's elementary sense of shame and fear of his own mother, for his wild unnatural feelings for her.
However, of course, my mother could not help but feel THIS in me during these three days that we spent continuously together. Andreevich, after all, he even released me from duty for the first week when my family came to me.
Yes, in those moments when I could no longer control myself and, as if by chance, my hand lay on her bare leg below her dress when she was sitting in front of me, or seemed to accidentally touch her breast, or lingered longer than expected on her shoulder or thigh.. Or while swimming in the river, losing his head from her proximity, he suddenly pressed her to himself. Yes, but how he pressed... Chest to chest, hips to hips, lips to lips. A son does not hug his mother like this, just like a lover seeks affectionate embraces from his mistress.
I don't think that my mother had much experience in this, but, of course, during these days, more than once or twice, she could feel and feel the fire that was raging inside me. And most importantly, it was impossible not to notice the root of all the excitement, which every time rose like a powerful stone mound under my swimming trunks or shorts.
I remember how, every time, a slight, bashful blush suddenly filled her cheeks and, hastily pulling away, my mother furtively cast alarmed, frightened glances at me. Probably, at these moments, she thought that she had come in vain... My eloquent ardent glances and persistent touches frightened her with the abyss and the fall that opened behind them. And it is unlikely that such statements on the part of her own son, especially knowing the somewhat puritanical mindset of her mind, could please or flatter her.
Every time, naturally, although strained, my mother tried to attribute everything to a joke, saying that I was completely wild here, or she playfully shook her finger and smiled through her strength.
It seems to me that if she had reprimanded me at least once, really harshly, reprimanded me sternly, or, in general, rudely scolded me for such behavior, then my brains would have fallen into place. But every time, my mother just seemed to run away from me, hiding her eyes, and nothing more... And after, each time, I more and more boldly fixed my gaze on her and in my thoughts all these three days, step by step, I rose higher and higher and higher on her invisible pedestal, until tonight, for the first time in my entire life, I looked down at my mother. And finally, I didn't admit to myself that I was thirsty for this woman. And for the first time, I did not find in my soul any insurmountable barriers to my desires standing between me and my mother.
I don't know why, but now, sitting in my bed, I was already completely sure that my mother had given up. Finally and irrevocably. Now she will come to me. It's not going anywhere. Now he'll clean up the kitchen and take a shower. And she will come, sighing sadly, swallowing tears, all unhappy and heartbroken, showing with all her appearance that she is ready to do anything just for the sake of her maternal duty, undress and lie naked, like a darling, in my bed.
Mom won't go to bed tonight, like she did the last three nights in the next room with Leska and Dimka, on the sofa. No, today she will come to my bed.. And she will stay with me this night.
True, somewhere in the depths of my soul, the last glimmer of reason still tormented me, like a thorn. He shouted that it would be better for my mother to slap me in the face, throw a tantrum, attack me with abuse, and, in the end, lock herself behind a latch in the very room where my younger brother and sister slept..
That the line from which there is no return has not yet been passed. It's not too late yet. And tomorrow, in the morning, when the drunkenness has passed and the passions have subsided, we can still talk about all this. It will still be possible to understand and forgive. And never again in our lives will we remember tonight
But this spark of reason was too small and faceless in the ocean of passions that overwhelmed me.
A new feeling, still new and unfamiliar to me, intoxicated me more than any vodka. This feeling had one name - power. Invisible, but strong and firm power over one's own mother. Now it's difficult to understand when this new feeling appeared both in me and in her, and even more so, how during these three days it imperceptibly matured and strengthened. Now it's difficult to understand when this new feeling appeared in both me and her, and even more so how during these three days it imperceptibly matured and strengthened, and forever entered our relationship with my mother. In any case, our relationship has never been the same.
What was a barely noticeable sprout just three days ago has now turned into a mighty, strong oak tree. And we could no longer ignore this. Although, in my opinion, my mother did not try to ignore this. Maybe it was all due to her quiet and submissive character, but she obediently and resignedly accepted the new thing that arose between us. My power and my right to it.
I knew before, of course, that my mother was pretty tormented by the fact that I had already been here for a whole year, on a God-forsaken island. Where for thousands of years not a single living soul had managed to settle, the island was too small, although it was rich in dense forests and flooded souls. And for another thousand years not a single soul would have set foot on this land if it had not attracted our "native, invincible and legendary" so much.
How my mother did not stay awake these three days while I introduced her to the local nature with Leska and Dimka (there were no other remarkable things here), but she was constantly overcome by horror that I had already been stuck in this dense wilderness for a whole year. And every time, she hugged me and sobbed quietly, burying her face in my chest.
I consoled her as best I could, although the island had been scratching my heart for a long time. But my mother kept blaming me that it was because of her and my father that I ended up here and only sighed sadly at my admonitions.
This is probably the whole recipe for this new, unquestioned power over my own mother, which my mother silently and without the slightest resistance recognized for me and was ready to submit to her just as unquestioningly.