I would like to share a story with you that is part fact and part fiction. You'll have to guess where that line is drawn. This is my first story so please be gentle. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, of course.
It was a warm Friday night and my wife, Kayla, and I were sitting out on our deck with my mother, Rhonda. She was visiting for a few days from out of town. We had had dinner with some friends of ours, Rick & Tanya, but they had to leave shortly after. A babysitter issue, it seemed.
I hadn't seen my mother in several months so we spent a good deal of time catching up. We were on our second bottle of wine when, out of the blue, my mother asked Kayla if Tanya had had a boob job. I almost blew wine out of my nose!
While I wouldn't consider my mother stuffy or puritanical, there were never really any conversations about sex or body parts growing up. I don't think it was taboo or anything, it just never happened. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up, though I always had a feeling mom would have been open about it if I had.
"They were way too perky to be real," she said matter-of-factly and then she and my wife giggled. My wife commented that women should be proud of what they have. She has never been an advocate of plastic surgery and I agreed.
"Well, I used to be a B-cup but my weight gain changed that." She had gained quite a bit of weight a few years ago but then decided enough was enough, joined a gym and got back in to "fighting weight" as she called it. "You'll never guess what I am now."
"Mom!!" I almost whined. I was thinking it was time to cut her off.
"What? I'm just making conversation!" she said. Kayla was just giggling in her hand.
"I don't really need to know what size bra you wear," I said.
She looked a Kayla and said, "I embarrassed my baby boy," and they giggled some more. "Well, since you won't guess I'll just tell you: I'm a D-cup now!"
At that point I couldn't help but take a quick glance. Now I've never had sexual thoughts about my mother. I do admit she is an attractive woman, especially for her late 40's but my thoughts had never gone further than that. Apparently my wife noticed and gave me a nudge to the ribs with her elbow. She was smiling, though, so I didn't think I was in too much trouble.
"I think you've had enough wine, Mom," I told her trying to keep things from going down an uncomfortable road.
"Hey, I haven't let me hair down in a long time so just pour me another glass!" This brought another round of giggles. You see, my mother also has a condition called alopecia. Several years ago she began losing her hair for unknown reasons and now wears a wig. She is completely bald but few people know. She rarely goes without it even around her family.
After Kayla calmed down a bit she said "Sometimes I wish I could just wear a wig so I didn't have to spend so much time getting ready every morning." I could have agreed to that but wisely kept my opinion to myself.
"While it was pretty difficult for me when it first started happening, I decided to just make the best of it. There are some negatives but there are positives as well, like not having to shave my legs." Mom said with a grin and another gulp of wine.
"I had never thought of that," exclaimed Kayla. Neither had I but I was pretending I was somewhere else. "Have you lost all of your hair?"
"All of it," said my mom.
"Even...?" Kayla's curiosity was apparently peaked though I'd never know her to be interested in other women at all.
"Even there," said Mom with a huge grin.
My mind was spinning a little. Wine and way more information about my mother than I thought I would ever know had taken its toll. At this point I announced I was tired and going to bed, they could stay up chatting if they wished. Both tried to cajole me in to staying and my mom promised to behave but I excused myself.
About an hour later Kayla came upstairs. As she got in to bed, Kayla rolled over and looked at me with a mischievous smile. "Did our conversation embarrass you?" she asked.
