"Are you okay, Judy?"
"I'm fine, just fed up with rocking myself to sleep every night on a latex cock, but aside from that, things couldn't be better."
He looked shocked but knew I was always forthright and far too vulgar in my choice of words, especially while hanging out with my cousin Simon, who was also my best friend.
He spends time at our family home in Cyprus and had been due to leave before I arrived. Knowing my recent marriage breakup was hard, he hung on while I visited.
"You could easily get laid here. There are loads of nice Turkish guys."
"I can't believe I'm telling you this, Simon, but I need something completely anonymous and very dirty to spark my desire again."
I watched the cogs whirr in his head while he processed what I'd said and decided how to respond.
"What about a glory-hole?"
I spat a mouthful of Sauvignon Blanc, quickly grabbing nearby tissues to wipe my mouth, while Simon brought a mop to clean the marble floor.
"That only works on Pornhub, sweetie."
"They have a glory-hole suite at a nearby five-star hotel. You rent room 612 and a series of cocks appear through holes in the adjacent rooms."
"Both rooms?"
"Two cocks, Judy, but obviously, you can only play with one at a time."
"Oh."
We continued drinking until the early hours, laughing and sharing witty anecdotes. Simon consoled me about my fucked up marriage that he'd felt sure would become a train wreck the moment I introduced my asshole husband to him.
I slept more soundly than I had in months, rose late, then enjoyed poached eggs courtesy of my cousin.
"Do you remember telling me about a glory-hole last night?"
The colour drained from his face while he thought for a moment, then retrieved the memory that had drifted to some place vague in his wine addled library of thoughts from the previous night.
He grinned cheekily, his colour returned, and I knew he'd remembered.
"It's at the Landmark Hotel in the City centre. You pay for the room by the hour, and stay as long as you like. They created it for women seeking no strings attached fun while their husbands gamble like crazy."
Later in the morning, Simon dropped me off in Kyrenia, where he had meetings. I enjoyed a cappuccino in the small, busy harbour, then visited a few shops nearby.
I strolled through the old town streets aimlessly, buying and window shopping, but was unsurprised when my unconscious mind steered me to the Landmark Hotel.
I stared up at its gleaming white marble facade.
Fuck it. Nobody will know.
"Room 612 please."
The girl at reception shot me an approving look while swiping my credit card, smiling, but not to the extent that she embarrassed me.
"An excellent choice Madam, please use the buzzer for room service. There is one on each wall."