The wrinkled fingers that were gripping the sink so hard had turned an even more ghostly white than usual, and when 64 year old Grace Billings glanced up into the mirror of the medicine cabinet she had trouble looking at the image.
"This is all going wrong," Grace whispered to herself, the talking to herself a habit she had picked up from living alone in the farmhouse the last four years after her husband Edgar passed. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."
***
Just that very morning Grace had gone to church - not HER church but one almost a hour's drive away so she was sure what she had to say was really confidential - and she had confessed to the voice on the other side of the dense screen what she had been doing with her grandson Timmy.
As she explained to the priest the way their relationship had changed from the normal grandmother/grandson relationship to one that was so immoral even the man she was speaking to seemed shocked at hearing it, she was careful to explain that while it was Timmy that instigated it, she felt responsible that she did nothing to stop it.
"I've always been like this," Grace had said. "My husband - no matter what he told me to do - no matter how vulgar or immoral it was - I did it, believe you me."
"And he would hurt you if you didn't comply? Physically abuse you, or even mentally?"
"Well not exactly," Grace admitted and after being pressed confessed, "I just wanted to make him happy. That's the way I've always been. I just have trouble saying no."
"And now?"
"Timmy is coming tonight to visit me on his way back to school," Grace explained. "He's a brilliant student - Dean's List and all - and because he skipped grades he's already a junior in college and still only 19. Such a cute little boy."
"He's a man, may I remind you. And you're a woman," the priest declared.
"Yes, I know. Tonight, I'm going to make him a nice dinner, and then I'm going to tell him - no more!" Grace said. "It must end and it must end now. I will apologize to him and tell him how wrong I was to let this go on."
"And this is what you will tell Timmy at dinner this evening?" the priest inquired. "You won't wait until morning?"
"Oh - why yes of course," Grace announced with a bit of hesitation. "Tomorrow is a new year after all. That's my resolution. To start living my life the right way and start going to church regularly again. When that ball drops there will be a new Grace Billings. A better one."
"I sincerely hope so but I get the feeling your faith is wavering," the priest had said before she left the booth, but at least he tried to sound more certain than Grace had been, and now in the bathroom looking at her own worst enemy she realized that this was all coming apart.
As the time Timmy was supposed to arrive neared later that afternoon, Grace was already wavering to the point that she was so excited at the thought of being with Timmy again that she had amended her plans.
After tonight was the plan. That would be it. She would tell Timmy in the morning, after they had made love. One last time, although with Timmy being so virile and almost as insatiable as Grace herself, the one time would likely be two or three times.
As Grace had looked at Timmy's picture while waiting for him to pull into the driveway, she recalled how he had been in the beginning. Although he had been the aggressor he was woefully inexperienced and painfully inept, but in time he had become a wonderful lover who used his modest equipment just as masterfully as her late husband had used what they used to playfully refer to as Edgar's 'big love log'.
So the "no more" had become "one more night" by the time Timmy had pulled into the driveway. The idea that Timmy could drive still seemed strange to Grace because he was still a little boy in her eyes even as he approached 20.
When the car stopped though, Grace was startled to see the passenger door open too, and when another younger man stepped out of the old Toyota along with Timmy, Grace was both relieved and disappointed.
Timmy had brought a friend from school, and as it turned out Timmy was driving back to the campus with him. In his adorable boyish shy way Timmy had asked if she minded if his friend could stay the night, and she assured her grandson it was fine and she could make up the guest room with no problem.
"We'll work that stuff out later Grandma," Timmy said as he thanked her. "You'll like Rudy."
Then Timmy kissed Grace and hugged her like he had been doing in recent times, and as Timmy's tongue found hers and they dueled while he ground into her - out of his friend's sight thankfully - she found her will weakening further much like her knees were.
"I've told him all about you," Timmy said with a wink and added. "He's a great guy and I think you're REALLY going to like him if you know what I mean."
"Huh?" Grace had mumbled as she tried to recover from the kiss, but Timmy was already rejoining his friend by then.
***
Grace ran some water in the sink and splashed some on her face, realizing she had to rejoin the boys in the living room eventually.
"Boys?" Grace muttered, remembering that they weren't boys but men.
Timmy's friend Rudy was surely a man even though at 18 he was almost two years younger that her grandson. Timmy still looked like he always had, and Grace figured he would be like Dick Clark as he aged, never seeming to grow old.
Rudy, on the other hand, was over 6' tall and looked very muscular. Timmy had explained that Rudy was a football player which was how they met since Timmy was on the team as well - sort of.
Timmy was a student manager for the team, although it seemed to Grace that what he mostly did was hand out water and pats on the back to the players, but he seemed to like it and loved football too. Since her grandson was only about 5'5" and 130 pounds, this was as close as he would get to the field, even though he had always dreamed of playing the game.
The two boys seemed to get along really well even though they were Mutt and Jeff both physically and personality-wise, with Rudy the obvious alpha male. Rudy for his part had already managed to make that clear in the past to Timmy, but also to Grace over the last few hours.
