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Strong incest themes in this one but all characters are over 18 years of age and all players are consenting adults.
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Everyone thinks Granny Madigan is so nice.
"Such a lovely old gal," Dad'd say. And Mommy, who always agreed with him, would say something like, "She's so warm and so kind, and she'd do anything for you, you know..."
It was stuff like that, all the time. Hearing that stuff now makes me sick. If my mom and dad had any idea what she was really like, how tough she could be, what a manipulator she was, they'd have been horrified and... well, I reckon they'd probably call the cops!
That old lady knows the effect she has on me and uses it to her advantage! It's like a kind of slavery! Like I'm her property that she can do with me as she pleases! It's coercive control! It can't be legal!
Ever since I was a little kid I've been obsessed with her. My mom noticed it when I was teething as a baby. Apparently, when I wouldn't stop crying and was inconsolable, Grandma Madigan could quieten me down straight away by snuggling me up in her big soft bosom. Mother said I'd coo happily for a moment and then go to sleep.
When I started walking I'd follow her around like a lost lamb. I guess I still do. My grandmother is like a drug to me and I'm totally addicted.
The way I idolize her is so obvious it makes me a standing joke at family days... like today, Granny's 78th birthday party.
We always hold big events like this at her house. Grandma always sits up there at the head of the long kitchen table.
Granddad used to sit to her left with the rest of the uncles and aunts, nieces and nephews and cousins, arranged down either side. All the way down to me at the far end... at the kiddie table... a fold-out card table that isn't even the same height as the main one.
I'm supposed to sit here with the little kids, even though I should, by rights, be at the adult table. I'm old enough. Cousin Trudy is a full year younger than me and she gets to sit up there. It's totally unfair.
So the food gets eaten and the beer gets drunk, and then the conversation turns to me. It always does. Bringing up the same stupid embarrassing moments of my life like it's the funniest thing in the world. Every time! The same stories! They never seem to get sick of teasing me about her.
This time it's Uncle George who starts it off.
"Remember when Milton was a baby cutting teeth? All Gladys had to do was pop the little sprog into them big titties and he'd calm right down! (har, har, har)"
And then they bring up the time I was caught wearing one of her bras or when they caught me rummaging through her dirty clothes...
"He came out with a pair of Nanna's knickers in his teeth!" laughed Aunty Ethel, and this sends the whole table into hysterics.
Yeah. It's all real funny. Hardy har. My fixation with my Gran is a great big belly laugh for everyone young and old. I try to take it with good humor but man it rankles. I can't help what I feel. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Then my own mother pipes in. My own goddamned mom!
"Mom, Mom," she says to Gran. "What about when you caught him watching you in the shower?"
Gran laughs loud along with everyone else, looking me right in the eyes. I felt a hot red flush rising up over my face. "He was right there... eyes like an owl!" says Gran in her croaky old lady voice. "Watching me soap my boobies, weren't you Milton?"
Everyone was roaring with laughter, even my little cousin Joey who was sitting beside me. He didn't understand any of it but the little shit was laughing anyway. I hung my head in shame and prayed for the floor to open up and swallow me. But it didn't. It never does. I just have to wait till they're finished.
Eventually, the conversation moves on and I risk an embarrassed glance down that long table, over the plates of roast chicken and potato salad, where I catch Gran's eye...
Their stories are embarrassing but they don't know the half of it.
The old woman's looking over her spectacles at me and favours me with her sexy languid wink... that sultry slow lowering of her right eyelid that she knows drives me crazy...
...and I become instantaneously and painfully erect like Pavlov's Dog, salivating and begging for a treat.
They all reckon I'm fixated on Gran's big boobs but it's so much more than that. I'm obsessed with everything about that old woman... from the top of her white curly perm to the tips of her succulent tasty little toes.
This is how it happened.
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A HOOVER 800 VACUUM CLEANER
Gran lives next door to us in the big old county house she and Poppop built together back in the '60s. Back then all the land around was their farm... Corn, barley, and oats as far as the eye could see.
My grandad (Poppop) was a great old guy, a real hard worker who provided well for his family. But he was also a smoker - a pack-a-day man for most of his life. A bit before I was born he was diagnosed with emphysema so Gran and he gave up on farming and sold a thousand acres to developers... did a bunch of travel... got a new car... stuff like that.
Now, all the land that was once their property is the neighbourhood where I live. Instead of soybeans, it's tract housing as far as the eye can see. All Gran and Poppop kept was the big old house that they lived in and the block of land next door for her daughter... who's my mom. That's where my Dad built our house.
I'm not sure when my fixation with Gran started... in utero maybe? As far back as I can remember my feelings for her seem to have always been there.
My first memory is of me as a little kid following her around, chatting about one thing or another. I remember she always had time for me... even when I was a little boy. She'd listen to all my little kid problems and was always good for a hug. That deep cleft between her big soft boobs was my sanctuary... still is.
Time went by and I grew up. I got some height and hair in places where there hadn't been hair before. I was also living with that cruel joke life perpetrates on teenagers. Just when you're trying to look as good as you can, you're struck down with a pimple.
I was grown up but I guess I was still a little boy inside. I wasn't real tall and I was a skinny kid which made me look young and I guess Granny Madigan liked that about me.
She treats me like her little prince which is real nice.