It was nearly noon when my mother and I eventually fell out of bed. The weather was terrible â wind, rain, bitterly cold â and my mother said she was tired, so we just stayed in by the fire eating chocolate Christmas tree decorations while we waited for aunt Bonnie to arrive.
My mother let me lie with my head in her lap while she played with my hair and we talked. For the first time she was really talking to me as another adult, and that did my self-esteem nearly as much good as all the sex weâd shared.
First we talked about girls. Normally Iâd rather have stuck pins in my eyes than talk to my mother about girls but today was more like talking to an older and wiser best friend. I listened to her and trusted what she said.
She told me that some girls my age were always going to be put off by the fact that I looked so young, but that others wouldnât be. I had to stop brooding about the first lot and start concentrating on the second lot. She promised me that there would be at least one girl, somewhere close, who I might never even have noticed before but who could make me happy.
The most important thing for me to do, she said, was look less desperate and more relaxed. Girls â and women â liked confidence and self-assurance in men and thatâs what she and Bonnie were trying to give me. Then she laughed and said that if I wasnât confident and self-assured now I would be by tomorrow morning. That made my cock stir again but I made myself stop thinking about tonight and focused on what my mother was saying.
The next bit was easy to listen to. She told me that grown women saw me differently anyway â to them I was a very pretty young boy who they wanted to take home and smother in kisses, and not the motherly kind. Her friends were always telling her how cute I was as if I was a puppy, but she could tell from the glint in their eyes what they really wanted to do to me (and that remark got me thinking in ways that had very enjoyable consequences for me a few weeks later).
That led us naturally on to auntie Bonnie. My mother talked about when they were younger, and I could hear real affection for her sister in her voice. Then she got embarrassed and said that sheâd always been âa bit crazyâ when it came to sex and a bad influence on Bonnie. I knew they hardly spoke to their own parents now, and this was why â too many bitter rows and recriminations about the things they did back then. I asked her what sort of things.
âHonestly darling, if you knewâŚâ She stopped.
âIâd be shocked? I doubt itâ I said with what I hoped was a cheeky grin.
My mother laughed again. âYou think youâve seen us at our worst? Not yet, baby.â
The problem was, she said, that despite being the youngest Bonnie had always tried to outdo her in her excesses. My mother always wanted to be the real wild one, so they kept pushing each other further and further. âAnd I know itâs silly but Iâve always made damn sure that I stay in the lead. Anything she can do I can do betterâ she smiled. Thinking about it later I realised that my mother had just explained an awful lot of what had happened in the last few days - and what was to come.
Anyway, it turns out that recently auntie Bonnie had been going on even more than usual about my general sweetness and cuteness. On new yearâs eve my mother decided it was time to test her little sisterâs limits again, as well as her own. Before I got home the gist of the conversation had been this:
âBonnie, admit it â you donât think Paul is âcuteâ or âsweetâ, youâd like to fuck him. You fancy him and the fact that it would be illegal just makes it more interesting.â
âJane!â (Slight pause) âMaybe. Incest would be newâ
âSo?â
âYou wouldnât mind?â
âSince when has that bothered you? But no, actually, I wouldnât mind. He really needs it badly. He gets a hard on every time he sees you. And you wonât go all soppy and elope with him afterwards.â
(Another slight pause) âWhen?â
âWhatâs wrong with tonight? Heâll be back soon. Just one condition â I have to watch to make sure you do it.â
âYou pervert! You just want to watch your pretty boy having sex with your sister. Fine. Iâve got one condition too â just a blow job tonight. If weâre all still happy after that he gets everything next weekend.â
âDeal. Just remember heâs my baby, Bonnie.â
Ten seconds later I walked through the door, and you know the rest.
Some time after my mother finished this story the warmth from the fire and her soothing voice sent me to sleep. A couple of hours later the doorbell woke me.