He Hurts Me

"A son is supposed to love his mother isn't he Nan; why doesn't Jay love me?"

"Of course he loves you Carolyn; he's probably just going through a phase."

"A phase doesn't last for years. Since Matt and I split, it's been getting worse all the time. I think he really hates me now and he's all I have."

I started crying and my friend couldn't get me to stop. Nan is a good friend to me and when the tears subsided, she listened as if she was hearing the story for the first time.

"He used to be so warm and loving: he hugged and kissed me before he went to school and he never left without saying 'I love you mom'… never. Now he won't say a word to me. If I touch him, he pulls away as if I have the plague. All my family is gone and I have one son and he hates me." The tears returned.

It hurts so much to love someone with all your heart, be willing to do anything for them and then not be able to do anything. I felt helpless.

"What can I do Nan?"

"Oh Carolyn I don't know what to say, I know he refused to go for counseling a while back…do you think he's angry at you because he blames you for Matt leaving? Or maybe it's because you worked so much and left him alone. Did you talk to him about these things?"

"It's hard to have a conversation by yourself but I have to do something. He's graduating and he already has a job. When he moves out I think I'll never see him again. I'm going to give it one more try tonight.

I got home and it was late so I came in quietly. Jay was in his room and I heard sounds. I went to the door and heard him saying, "Mom…mom…mom…"

I almost went in because I first thought he was calling me, needing me. Then I realized; he was masturbating. I was totally confused. He hates me; how could I excite him sexually: I'm twice his age, I'm his mother. It all sped through my mind but all I could think was "maybe I could use this to get through to him and get him to talk to me."

I opened the front door loudly as if I had come in again and then called to him "Jay honey can I talk to you please"? He didn't answer. "Jay, please don't do this to me; come out for a few minutes."

Finally he said, "I'm tired, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I knew I would have to do something drastic. The next day was Friday and I left work early to get home before he did. I guess I figured if he finds me attractive maybe I should try and get his attention that way. I showered; I shaved my legs (and all the other places I usually shave) powdered and perfumed myself and did a Cleopatra number with makeup. I have dark hair and blue eyes and the purple eye shadow and jet black mascara have a pretty dramatic effect.

I put on the sexiest outfit I own: black silk stockings and heels, black see through bra, the top of which shows a little under the low cut black dress. This is as good as I get. I'm slim and that makes my breasts look big. The bra pushes enough of me out so it's hard not to notice and the dress is short enough to see all the leg you want. It seemed crazy to be dressing for my son but I was desperate.

He came home. He noticed. He looked hard whenever he thought I wasn't looking. I put my hand on him and said, "Hi sweetie, how are you."

"Fine, where are you going?"

"Oh I have a date with a guy from work." He pulled away from me and started to walk off. "Jay you promised me you would talk to me today; please sit down here just for a few minutes."

"I didn't promise anything, anyway what is it?"

He reluctantly sat in front of me. As we spoke I realized I was leaning over to talk to him and he couldn't take his eyes off my breasts. "Jay I don't want to lose you, you're all I have. Tell me what I've done to make you hate me, to make you hurt me. Is it that you think I made your father leave?"

He laughed out loud. "That prick? I was never as happy as the day he left. He was miserable to you and you could see how much he cared for me by the number of times he called after moving to California. Look, why don't you just go and have a nice conversation with your boyfriend or your lover or whoever he is and leave me alone?"

"Jay you know I don't have a boyfriend or a lover"

"Well it looks like you're planning on changing that tonight. That outfit should get you some action."

I started crying, "I…I don't even have a date…so…"

"What do mean? You said…"

"I know what I said but I got dressed for you"

"Why?"

"So I should look good for you. So you would talk to me. So you would love me again."

"Oh fuck…all right… I don't care about anything any more so here it is. I love you. I love you too much; that's the problem. I can't stand that you go out with anybody. I can't stand what I want to do with you. I can't stand that how I feel is going to make you think I'm terrible. I can't show you what I want so it's better if I stay away from you. It's better if I never touch you, it hurts too much. It's better if I never kiss you."

"Oh Jay…baby…no it's not. It's not better that you never touch or kiss someone who wants to be touched and kissed." I stood over him and my mouth on his told him everything. My tongue showed him what I wanted and his tongue said "yes."

"Sweetheart, take me to your room; I want to hear you call my name with me on your bed and me in your mouth and …"

I'm not sure he knew what I was referring to but it didn't seem to matter. He picked me up in his arms and carried me as I kissed his face and neck. He dropped me on the bed and pulled my dress over my hips. Almost before my panties were down, his face was between my legs. His lips and tongue lathered my pussy and his stubble was rough on the tender skin where I had shaved. He sucked in my clit so hard, it shocked me. It was too much stimulation at once and I cried out. He eased back and soothed me with the flat of his tongue. He pulled the sheer bra down under my breasts and my nipples responded as he took my flesh in his hands. I ached for him.

He stopped and took off his shirt his hard athletic body excited me. When he took his pants and briefs off I just looked dumbfounded. I'd never seen anything like it. "My God, how can you possibly be that big?"

"I don't know mom but you must have had something to do with it."

I haven't been with that many men but I think if I'd seen anything like that I would have run. I wasn't running now; all I was doing was getting turned on.

He straddled me and put it between my breasts. He moved back and forth pressing them around the big cock. I took some of the head into my mouth each time it approached my lips. He was pinching my nipples tighter with each entry into my mouth. He stopped for a moment and just looked at me.

"Tell me what you want me to do Jay"

"I want you to suck me mom."

We were both on our knees on the bed when I took him into my mouth. My lips stretched around his thickness and he was at the back of my throat before even half of him was in my mouth. He moaned as my tongue worked and my hands massaged his balls and the rest of his shaft. I was sucking my son and I didn't care what that meant to anyone but me. I could feel him loving me again.

I could feel myself dripping and I reached down and my hand came up shiny and sticky. I showed it to him and said, "Look what you do to your mother."

My son smiled at me and said, "Let's not let all that beautiful lubrication go to waste."

He put me on my back and I prepared myself for his entry. I watched his cock approach and was struck that it was straight as a steel rod. Then I was struck by the way it filled me. They say that most women can accommodate a man of almost any size. I had my doubt as my son's huge shaft penetrated my opening. He was up in me, deep in my belly and I felt it. I knew I would be sore after he finished with me but I didn't care. I wanted him to do me until I was raw so I could feel him tomorrow even when he wasn't in me. He did me raw.

He made me come with his mouth and with his cock and only sheer will kept me from screaming out. As he pumped me he found my end but there seemed no end to the pain and pleasure I felt, and no end to my desire for more.

I wanted him to take me in every way possible that night. I turned on my stomach and said, "Do it Jay; I want you to do it."

"Mom," he said, "no it would be too much, it would…"

"I want you to, I want you to, I want you to."

Although his cock was slick from me, he knew it wouldn't be enough. When he came back from the bathroom he was slathering his dick with Vaseline or something and he was rock hard. I braced as the head of my son's cock pushed past the tight ring. I breathed a sigh of relief; I thought the worst was over. It wasn't. I was closed so tight around the shaft it seemed that he couldn't move his cock in me. He could; he did.

I'm not sure why I wanted him there so badly but I did: maybe to show him that I would deny him nothing, maybe so he could have mastery over me, maybe so he could dissipate his anger by using me this way. It didn't matter; I wanted it.

He pushed into me deeper and he was moaning as the tight channel milked his big cock but he still asked, "Am I hurting you mom?"

"No darling" I answered "It feels good." Both were true; and the deeper he went the more it hurt and the better it felt.

He kissed my back, he fondled my breasts and he said, "Oh Carolyn…my beautiful Carolyn…you're so good to me…I'm so sorry I…"

I stopped him. I wanted him only to feel good. "No darling, it's past, it's over. There's only this now: only you in me, only us taking care of each other."

I could feel his cum start to shoot into me and the added lubrication eased me into the pleasure of his hard pumping. I heard the words I wanted to hear with me in his bed.

"Oh…oh…mom…mom…mom…"

When I awoke the next morning, my son was on his back; up - but still asleep. I took the big cock into my mouth and as I licked and sucked, I let my teeth lightly graze the tender skin. Jay awoke and said, "Ooooh that hurts but it feels so good."

I smiled, "I know son, I know."