Rebecca drove down the road in a trance-like state and it never occurred to her that she went straight through a stop sign. "I fucked my son!" Her mind went back to what the two of them had done three nights ago. She had pulled out his baby pictures and gone over those memories of motherhood. She saw him take his first steps and his first birthday. It boggled her mind how she could have sex with him as an adult. To her, Carter was still the baby boy she gave birth to.
Then her mind returned back to the night of raw lust, where all these sensations of motherhood were abandoned for only a few minutes of pleasure. Were her feelings of motherhood so discardable that she would disconnect from them to have sex with her own son? After orgasming from that experience, how could she return back and reclaim her motherhood? She had valued being a mother and now she was never going to feel that way towards her son in entirety. The sex would be good for however many minutes it lasts, but she would return back to a shattered motherhood and that was more permanent. When her SUV pulled in front of her house, she felt filthy and dirty and wished that the night never happened.
Carter had just warmed up his Ramon noodles when the door opened and Rebecca came in. Ever since that night she had been distant and self reflecting. The last few days have been hard on Rebecca and it was written all over her face that she was punishing herself. Normally, she would hug or kiss him but that evening, she said hi and then went around her business. Things had changed.
"Mom, are you feeling okay?" Carter asked.
There was silence at her end and then she spoke, "Carter, I am extremely regretful of what happened between us and I will never forgive myself for what I did to you." With those words, she broke down and cried.
"Mom, it's okay," he replied.
"No, it can never be okay." Rebecca said and then they sat in silence.
Then Carter spoke gently, "Mom, may I say something?"
Rebecca nodded.
"It is far more common than you think," he replied. "Incest happens and people keep it to themselves. It is really not that uncommon."
"And how do you know that?" Rebecca looked at him.
"Internet. There have been studies done on it."
"If it is common, then that does not make it right now does it?" She asked.
"Mom. It is considered bad because such a relationship would be unfair to the child who comes out of it. We are not making babies. We live in a time where sex and reproduction have become separated so that guilt is out of place now," Carter said as he walked up to the couch and sat next to his mother.
Rebecca felt his hand go around her. "You just want to fuck your mother," She managed a smile. "Sex is all that you have in your mind buddy. Even if it is your mom."