Prologue
Carrie Smith here; still just your average college student. I'm usually busy studying, going to practice, or stressing about my future. I'm also a lesbian who's in love with her younger sister. See? Average.
My sister, Leslie, is just a year younger than I am. She's smart, pretty, and popular. She's also still in the closet. Our parents know about me; I've been dating girls since middle school. Leslie on the other hand, has only had boyfriends so far, so our parents have no reason to suspect that we've been sleeping together.
Our mom is always busy at the office or away on business. Our dad is the homemaker, but he spends a lot of his time making sure our thirteen-year-old brother gets to his various activities. It's never too hard for my sister and I to find some time alone.
Even before we started having sex, Leslie and I had been close. The two of us had always been best friends; she'd talk to me about anything. After she broke up with her last boyfriend, she told me that she was done dating guys. I joked with her and told her that she should give girls a try. Then, she told me that the only girl she'd actually want to date, was me. Since then, we've been lovers.
Recently, the two of us have been getting more comfortable with our relationship. For example, I used to find it annoying when Leslie would sneak into my bed when we had mornings alone, but now, I love waking up with her there. The things we do alone together have also started to become kinkier, and our relationship is a lot more intimate. The two of us are closer than ever these days, which is why I would much rather spend Christmas at home with her than visit our relatives.
* * * * *
It was late morning on Christmas Eve. The whole family was crammed into Dad's car for the hour drive to our grandparents' house to see them, and the rest of our extended family. We went up to their house in the mountains several times every year, and each time, I dreaded it more. Ever since I came out as a lesbian six years ago, each holiday had been a battle. Everyone was bent on trying to convince me to 'change my sinful ways,' and other stupid crap like that. I didn't really care what they thought, but the constant hounding was too much sometimes. I knew someone would say
something
, so I had to be ready and have my guard up.
I wasn't all alone though; I had Leslie to defend me. She usually avoided conflict, but she'd intervene if things got intense. Even if she didn't say anything to them, I could always count on her to cheer me up afterwards; Leslie was great at making me smile. She was seated next to me, looking cute and sexy like she always did. Her long brown hair was down around her shoulders styled in neat curls that framed her face. She had on a coat, but I knew underneath she was wearing a deep green sweater that clung to her body and a short black skirt with black stockings on her legs. She and I had sat in her room for an hour last night picking out her outfit.
Leslie had picked out what I had on, too, so I was wearing a dress for once. I didn't exactly
hate
dresses; I hated the way they looked on me. Even though I was older, I didn't have the body that Leslie, or even our mom had, but since Leslie had insisted that we buy it when we found it at the mall, I promised her I'd wear it. It was one of those extra long dresses that almost touched the floor and it actually looked good on me. Leslie said it was because I had long legs. The dress was black, so she also decided that I needed a dark red sweater over it to add some color. It looked nice even though I was only wearing it under my Junior Varsity college jacket; unlike Leslie who had on a stylish vegan leather one. I didn't really know what the point of looking good today was, anyway. No one was going to compliment me. It would just be the same old, 'when are you bringing home a boyfriend,' 'stop this lesbian nonsense' bullshit. I sighed.
Looking out the window, we were nearly there. We were driving down the narrow, wooded road that would eventually lead us to our grandparents' house. They lived on the edge of a small town in the mountains to the east of the city we lived in. They had a nice plot of land and the area itself was quite beautiful. It was mostly evergreen forest amidst the other random houses, and the small lake that told us we were about to turn. The next path after the trees was for our grandparents' driveway. I sighed internally as we pulled up behind the large house. There were already plenty of cars parked on the asphalt in front of the garage, so I was pretty sure we were the last ones to get here. I opened the car door and got out with Leslie right behind me. Mom, Dad, and Andy walked up to the house, but my sister and I weren't in a hurry, so we stood off the porch.
It was cold outside of the car, but I didn't bother buttoning up my coat, even with the windchill. The sky was grey and looked as gloomy as I felt. I didn't want to do this, but spending Christmas without my family seemed wrong. It felt like something that you were supposed to do. I didn't want to just stay home alone either, but now that I was here, I was second guessing the idea. I would much rather be at home hanging out with Leslie watching cheesy old movies and eating way too many Christmas cookies.
"Carrie... You okay?" I heard Leslie whisper.
"Huh?" It took a second to process what she had said. "Oh, yeah. I guess," I sighed.
She got closer to me, then took my hand in hers. "It will be okay. We'll be going home soon enough," she said while rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb.
"I know," I said while swinging her arm with mine.
She gave me a gentle, yet sad look. She started to say something, but the front door opened, and everyone started moving in out of the cold.
"Andy! Look how big you're getting!" I heard our grandmother say as we walked through the door.
She had on a red, long-sleeved holiday dress with snowflakes on it. Her long white hair was in a braid draped over her shoulder. Grandpa was next to her in a white button-up and khaki slacks with suspenders. There was a newsboy cap covering his bald head.
"It's those Gutenberg genes! He'll be a star athlete like his ol' Grandad one day, wontcha, boy?" he grinned.
"Sure, Grampa," Andy laughed.
That was annoying. I had been athletic my whole life - won awards even - and Grandpa had never seemed proud of me like that. I was even standing right here in a letter jacket! He hadn't bothered to comment on it at Thanksgiving, but Andy's getting attention just because he had a growth spurt and his weight lifting was starting to pay off? Ugh! I wasn't mad at Andy; I was mad at my family's double standards. My sports achievements didn't matter to them because I was a girl. It was something that always pissed me off.
"Good to see you, sweetheart, Merry Christmas," Grandma said as she hugged me.
"Merry, Christmas, I replied automatically.
"Caroline... look at you," she said as she let go of me. "When is a pretty girl like you going to get a boyfriend, hm?"
My grandmother's back-handed compliment frustrated me.
"Grandma, we've been over this. I don't want a boyfriend. I like women," I told her for the umpteenth time.
"And I keep telling you dear, that's nonsense," she replied, shaking her head.
"Mom!" my mom gasped.
"Let's just agree to disagree. Okay, Grandma?" I said with my best fake smile.
"You'll grow out of it someday, sweetie," she said while patting my hand.
I yanked it away from her, then turned and left the room. I was already over this entire visit. I knew that it wouldn't get much better. This was just the beginning. I sighed as I made my way to the coat closet to hang up my jacket. What was with Grandma? 'I'll grow out of it' - what was that even supposed to mean? I yanked off my coat and grabbed a hanger. Then Leslie walked up.
"That was quick, huh?" she said as she began to take off her coat as well.
