I Am A Zero Pt 11

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror. The shower was nice, it always had good pressure and it was very hot. On this cold day the hot water felt good. It was mentally cleansing. I had spent the shower thinking about this trip and everything that has happened. I started to think about how and even if I needed to some how bring my three brothers together and just talk out what was going on. But by the end of the shower I knew that wasn't the right thing. Not for me atleast. I don't know how to talk to people. I realized more than ever the truth about myself.

"I am a zero," I said to myself as I looked in the mirror. I was wearing my black push up bra and matching black panties. I had shaved my legs, my armpits and my pussy (as best as I could). I felt clean. But more accurately I felt blank. I was tired. Not physically tired. I was mentally tired. My mind was always going, analyzing, counting and trying to understand. What was the right way to talk about this? What was the right way to act?

Even now, with all the freedom I was feeling with my brothers I still felt like I wasn't doing it quite right. More than that, I felt like I wasn't talking about it correctly. I just didn't know how to.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I knew the problem. I could see it. I didn't know how to articulate it. But I needed to. Not to anyone but myself.

"I...I am a zero," I said again leaning forward on the sink and looking into my reflection. My tits hung down in front of me presenting their cleavage. I thought about the restaurant and being called a "Big-titted bitch" and disrespected by those men or my manager Kent and how he did the opposite and treated me with such respect.

Kent would always tell me, "Katie, you are so smart. What would I do without you to help me close?"

I looked at my tits and realized I had caught Kent looking at my tits all the time too. He said he respected me. But I don't think he did. Not really. My tits always got in the way of respect.

I stood up slowly and frowned. No that wasn't it. It was actually the opposite. Respect got in the way of my tits. That felt good to think about. Respect carried this pressure. This understanding that I was something more than what people saw. It carried this pressure to preform and to be something more. Respect expected more.

"Respect means there is more than meets the eye," I said in a whisper as I looked back at myself. "But I am not more. Not really. I am less. I am less than."

I smiled at the statement. I had been told to be confident, sure of myself and sure of my worth. I remember one of my female teachers gave us a talk about the value and importance of being a woman in this day and age. I didn't understand her. I knew what she was saying but I didn't relate to her. Certainly not her passion and also all I felt from her was pressure.

I was tired of the pressure. For these past few days I wasn't feeling the pressure I normally felt. I felt free. Or what I supposed was freedom. I am not sure any of us know true freedom. We only know what people tell us and what expectations are and then we are told we need to fit into that definition. I didn't fit into any definition. Not any of their definitions at least. I knew what I was.

"I don't want pressure," I said to my reflection. "I don't want respect. I don't want to be expected to make choices and to make my path in life. I can't. That's not what I am." I paused for a moment. A feeling of warm clarity washed over me as I looked at myself in my underwear. "A zero doesn't have pressure to be anything more than what it is. I am a zero." I opened my mouth and just looked.

Prior to my shower David had visited me in the early morning. I was asleep and on my back when he came in. I woke up with him straddling my chest and he pushed his erect dick into my mouth. He didn't wait for me to be fully awake. He didn't wait for my permission or my invitation. He just did what he wanted and/or needed to do. My elder brother proceeded to fuck my mouth until he came. He grunted and groaned and then shot his load into my mouth like I was a glove or cum sock or some other kind of sex toy. He was not rough but he was not gentle or considerate and most of all he was not respectful. He was not hateful or mean and he didn't say anything when he was done. Our eyes just met as he pulled his spent dick out of my mouth and I swallowed everything he gave me. He got off of me and left without a word.

I felt used. In the purest sense of the word. I imagined my brother was just walking by my room and on a whim, instead of masturbating he came in my room and came in my mouth. Then, when he was satisfied, he left.

I had never felt more fulfilled or content. No words, no dancing around some kind of invisible but tangible awkwardness. None of that nonsense. Instead it was just pure purpose. With purpose comes identity.

I had been living a lie. I am not sure when the lie started or if I had told myself or if it had been pushed upon. I didn't care. Ultimately the liar isn't responsible, it is the one that believes the lie. The one that believes the lie is trapped. I don't want to be trapped anymore.

I took a deep breath and stood up straight again. The bra I was wearing held my tits up and together well. They were on display. There was no opinion or observation that I could offer to anyone that held any value. My words were a distraction. My tits are what people looked at and what people wanted to see.

"I am a zero. I am not here to talk or to share my opinion. I am not here to be respected or to be anything more than what I am." I took another breath and continued, "I am a big tittied zero. I am an open mouth, a fuck toy and a hole." I took another breath and then said definitively, "A zero is a fuck hole."

It felt good to say. It was the most honest thing I had ever said. It was the most accurate statement I had made. In the same way that 2 + 2 = 4, I was a fuck hole. Most accurately I was my brother's fuck hole. That is where I belonged. I was their zero.

I ran my fingers through my hair and turned from side to side just looking at myself. This is what I am. There isn't anything else.

I smiled.

I walked out of the bathroom and to the door of my room just wearing my bra and underwear. There was no hiding anymore. There was no point.

I heard John and Jeff downstairs so I walked out of my room and down the stairs. I knew they were waiting for me to make breakfast.

As I walked into the kitchen, my brothers were sitting at the table drinking coffee and laughing at some joke. John saw me first and his eyes went wide. Jeff turned and had the same reaction.

I did not feel empowered. I felt seen. I felt honest. I felt small and low. It was me.

"Uh, good morning Kates," John said finally. He stood up awkwardly.

I smiled at him. "Good morning guys, are you hungry?" I asked as I went to the refrigerator and got out some eggs. I felt their eyes on me, roaming over my skin and underwear. I liked it. I liked the way they looked at me.

"How did you sleep?" Jeff asked me as he stood up. He was wearing his plaid pajama pants and I could see a bulge forming in his crotch.

"Fine," I said as I cracked the eggs one at a time into a bowl. "David woke me up early. Where is he?"

"He had a call from Erika that really pissed him off," John said more to my tits than to my face. "So he ran out of the house to get something or blow off steam or I don't know."

I glanced at John and he was staring at my tits. So was Jeff. This was the most natural conversation we have ever had.

"Well I don't like that," I said as I stirred the eggs and then got the pan hot. "I hope he is ok and that he comes back soon." I poured the eggs into the pan when I felt hands on my butt. I turned to see that both of my brothers were very close to me.

John reached in front of me and turned off the burner.

Pleasuring and then having sex with two of my brothers at the same time was one of the most natural activities I could have imagined. I vaguely remembered one or both of them being concerned that the other would find out or some such nonsense. But I wasn't thinking any more. Thinking was not what I was for.

My tits were pulled out of my bra quickly and I felt hands on me and then mouths. My eyes were closed as my tits were sucked on, playfully bit, slapped and sucked more. Another mouth was on my neck, then my shoulders. Soon I was bent over and sucking Jeff's cock while John was taking down my panties and rubbing my pussy from behind.

I did my best to take cues from them and to move as they directed and led me to. John fingered my pussy and then, to my surprise, he pushed his finger into my ass. I groaned and grimaced slightly. I had never had anything in my butt before. But I quickly understood that if this was what they needed then this is I was for.

Jeff groaned as I sucked his dick as best as I could while John fingered my asshole.

"That's it Kates," John said in a low, lust-filled voice. "That's it. You like your ass played with don't you?"

I couldn't reply due to the cock in my mouth, but the truth was that what I liked was being used. Whatever they wanted was what I needed. It was that simple.

Jeff was groaning and he gripped my hair. I knew he was about to cum and John began to fuck me from behind while he rubbed my asshole with one of his fingers. Jeff grew more urgent, pulling my head down on his dick as he began to cum. He made loud groans between breaths and he filled my mouth with his warm fluid. At the same time John's thrusts were urgent and wild. He stopped playing with my ass and focused on holding my hips while he fucked me. It didn't take long and he was cumming in my pussy.

Just like that we were finished. The entire encounter had lasted only a few minutes but as the three of us put on what garments we had back on, I felt closer to them than I ever had before.

I finished making eggs while my brothers went back to the table in silence. When I was done I brought the pan over and served them breakfast. Jeff touched my hand and said," Kates, can we..."

I stopped him and said, "Don't ask me. Both of you." I looked at them both very seriously. "The answer is always yes."