I knew something wasn't right. Alan had been acting extra strange around me for a few months now but I just couldn't put my finger on it. He and I have been friends for over 30 years, Christ we'd even shared some chicks together back in college. We had travelled together, drank together and discussed way to many stories about the women we had fucked when we were younger.
I knew he was still recovering from his divorce from Karen a couple years ago and that wound had never really healed. She really fucked up his head by cheating on him. She even told him he was boring in bed and that's why she wanted out. Talk about being a bitch, that lady had heart that matched her head, fucking empty.
I talked to some of the other guys in our friends group about it and they all said Alan was fine when I wasn't around so I decided to invite him over to ask him what was going on. He gave me excuses at first, but I finally nailed him down to watching the game on Sunday at Sullivans Tap on Canal. I knew he couldn't resist the cheap beer and the skunky smell of Sullys.
We arrived just after lunch, Sullys doesn't have food so you gotta time your visit it right, unless you like vending machine food. The game was on and the beer was cold so everything was good. Conversation was light and we stayed glued to discussing the Pats or Bruins for the first hour or so. It was down right boring until I asked if he had anybody new in his life, and that was where the whole bizarre chain of events got started.
"I'm fucking your daughter." he said nervously and quickly and looked at the floor like a dog who knew he'd fucked up big time.
"What did you say?" I asked him.
"You heard me Gerry, I'm fucking your daughter." he replied.
The words sounded like a foreign language to me, did he just say he was fucking my daughter?
"It's not funny Alan." I said back with a fuck you tone in my voice.
"I don't imagine it is." he replied as he lifted his head and looked me in the eyes.
My mind struggled to understand what he was saying. This 47 year old fuck is nailing my 25 year old daughter? My only child spreads her legs for him? Is he saying my beautiful daughter is sucking his cock on a Saturday night?
"You better be fucking around Alan." I told him, you could hear the anger in my voice.
"We met on a dating site," he said.
"Like fuck you did!" I yelled back, "you met at my dinner table you fucking pedophile."
"She's 25, I'm hardly a pedophile," he fired back.
The noise caused everyone in the bar to stop and look at us. We sat there without saying a thing until they all went back to their drinks.
"You fucking know better!" I grumbled, trying to keep people from listening to us.
Alan sipped his drink and didn't say anything. I was fuming inside! I thought about using a chair to cave his head in, but I thought there's lots of time for that. I was tempted to just walk out and say "fuck him". That would have been easy, and thinking about it that's probably what a reasonable man would have done. But I just sat there imagining him drilling my little girl.
My daughter Angie was no angel. She had been through 20 boyfriends in her short life and had enough tattoos and piercings to rival any hard core biker, but she was hot. She could get anyone she wanted, what the hell did she see in that fucking fossil Alan.
"What dating site did you meet her on?" I asked him, "Old fucks with big bucks?"
"Eros" he replied.
I felt like he punched me in the head.
"Eros is not a dating site jackass, it's a site for finding Beantown whores," I snarled back causing the bar to go quiet again.
Alan didn't say anything, he just went back to sipping his drink.
I could feel the pressure of my rage swelling up like a propane tank before it explodes. My new plan was I was going to beat him fucking senseless! Just as I got up from my stool he spoke.
"Gerry I didn't know it was her until I got to her place," he said quietly.
I calmed down for a second to take in what he had said. "He didn't know it was her until he got to her place." But that would mean he really was looking for an escort. I tried to stay angry but I felt my heart drop the moment I comprehended what had happened. He really was just looking for a piece of ass on an escort site.
"I didn't know how to tell you Gerry," he said quietly.
"Did you fuck her?" I asked deliberately.
"Yes," he replied.
"Then you are a piece of shit," I told him.
"Fuck you Gerry, she's beautiful and I haven't had sex for months, I never tired to hurt her, who knows what the other men treat her like." He replied.
I wanted to tell him to "shut the fuck up, my daughter is not a whore," but it sounded so bad just thinking it in my head I just grumbled back at him.
"You're still a piece of shit," I said.
Then is what can only be described as a boys will be boys moment the waitress came over and asked if we wanted another round. I looked at Alan and then at my empty beer.
"You up for another?" I asked him.
"I am if you are," he replied.
"2 more honey," I said to the waitress and she hurried off.
I thought about what had just happened. Did I agree to have another beer with my best friend who happens to be fucking my 25 year old daughter? Yep, I did, that's a WTF moment. A lot of my anger was starting to shift to my daughter. I understood why Alan wanted to get some pussy and I still owed him a beating for fucking my daughter but what the fuck was she whoring for? She didn't need the money, she had a great job as a machine operator for the City of Boston.
"Did she look ok?" I asked him, "did she look beat up or drugged?"
Alan looked almost caught off guard by the question, eventually he answered.
"She looked good, very good," he said.
"Don't fucking push it," I told him.
The waitress returned with our drinks and we both took a big swallow of beer.
"Where does this leave us as far as being friends?" Alan asked.
"I don't know," I replied "I'll get back to you on that."
I honestly had no idea how to act or respond. It's not like there's a playbook for whoring daughters and your friends who fuck them.