The weeks following that hazy night - where, in the secluded darkness of Daniel's living room, I had taken his father Mr Dawson's penis into my mouth and, in a state of near hypnosis, had sucked and swallowed him dry - were like I dream.
The morning after it happened, waking up snuggled with Daniel, I had indeed thought it had been a dream, a beautiful one at that. Daniel smiled as I woke up and handed me a fresh cup of coffee. It was so unlike him to be thoughtful like that, I felt a flutter of excitement in my chest and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.
"I've made breakfast too," Daniel said.
"You're boyfriend of the year," I winked at him.
He seemed proud of himself, and at that moment I only had a general sense of pleasure between my legs and a vague memory of a sex dream. But as I sat up to eat the eggs and sausage Daniel had fried up for us, I felt the brittleness of my panties between my legs, the dried remnants of a gushing wetness from masturbating in half-sleep the previous night.
"My dad offered to take us to the cinema today if you want," Daniel said matter-of-factly between bites.
Then it hit me, like an icicle falling down into my throat. I coughed and sent a mouthful of baked beans flying across the bed. I coughed and coughed, half-choking on my food.
"Are you okay?" Daniel said, shocked.
"Yes, ahem, yes, totally," I smiled, tears streaming down my face. "Just forgot how to swallow - or, um, breathe, for a second."
Daniel laughed and shook his head. We finished breakfast in silence as guilt began bubbling up in my stomach and I tried to persevere and finish the rest of my breakfast without any further hiccups.
When we went down to the living room, Mr Dawson was there. And if there had been any doubts in my mind as to whether the now vivid memories - of Daniel's father breathing deeply and shaking ever-so-slightly as his dick throbbed his cum into the back of my throat - were real or the product of a dream, Mr Dawson's reaction to me that morning put them to rest. Or rather, his lack of reaction. Mr Dawson did not look at me or utter a single word to me. He addressed me only indirectly through Daniel. His face turned red the moment I walked in. But he made an excuse to busy himself with washing dishes and made a quick escape.
When Mr Dawson returned to the living room and Daniel asked if he still wanted to go to the cinema he responded: "Yes, of course, son. That would be a lovely way to spend the day with you. And would, uh, your girlfriend be coming - attending - with us...also...or will it be a boys' day out?"
I wanted to shake my head and roll my eyes, but of course I wasn't so foolish at to make things even more bizarre for Daniel, who was already giving his dad a strange look.
"You alright, dad?" he asked.
"Yes, Mr Dawson, you're acting rather strangely," I said, though what I really wanted to say was:
Get it together, Mr Dawson, have you never told a fib before? Don't you know how to pretend everything's normal? Have you never had a moment in your life where you've done something out of the ordinary? Or did you really decide to raw dog adventure last night by going from being the most quiet, boring dad in the history of the world to letting your son's girlfriend suck your dick. Get your shit together, man.
I decided to put an end to the awkwardness by following the only good lead Mr Dawson had given me.
"You know what," I said. "I think you two could use a boys' day out and, to be honest, there's nothing in the cinemas that I like right now. So why don't you two go and I'll see you in school, Daniel?"
That settled it and I went home hoping to put the whole affair behind me. But the moment Mr Dawson and I had shared together played on repeat in my mind like a Tik Tok reel. Weeks passed where barely any thoughts could get through my head that did not involve some fragment of the memory of the fellatio I performed on Mr Dawson. I would try to work on exam preparations in maths but my eyes would lock onto the equals sign and the parallel lines would trigger memories of Mr Dawson's penis. (Give me that eight equals equals equals D 8===D
Mr Dawson.
) I would try to write English essays but find myself always analysing the use of pathetic
fallacy
, which was only one easy phonetic jump to thinking about Mr Dawson's
phallus
. In class, at my high school, I barely did any work and sat there doodling. Each of my textbooks and jotters soon had a doodle of Mr Dawson's penis and his name enshrined by a heart. During those weeks I truly lost my mind - I had gone boy crazy for Mr Dawson.
After one particularly risky incident where I almost called Daniel Mr Dawson in front of our entire class, I decided I had to take some sort of action. But what? I toyed with the idea of breaking things off with Daniel. I thought of implementing a rule where Daniel only came to my house and not vice versa. I even considered running away from home again. And yet, somehow, one Saturday afternoon, when I knew Daniel was at basketball practice, I found myself at Daniel's house, knocking on the door.
It was a chilly, sunny afternoon, and I was wearing a plaid, pleated, high-waisted kawaii miniskirt with a raw frayed hemline and a loose crop-top that showed the top of my bellybutton and my ribcage but stopped shy of exposing my bra, unless it caught the wind. I wanted to look like a sexy K-pop star and I was pulling it off quite well, especially with my knee-high tube socks. While I had dressed, I had told myself it was because I liked fashion but as I waited for the door to open I knew I was hoping to shock Mr Dawson with the amount of skin that I had on show.
"Hello?" The door opened. Mr Dawson was not there - it was Shirley, his wife.
"Oh, uh..." I stalled. "Hi."
Shirley did not hide as her eyes drifted from my face, past my waist, down to my long thighs, extended by the high-waisted skirt and its shortness. She then slowly meandered her gaze back up, stopping to look at my exposed ribs and then back into my eyes with a smirk.
"You
know
that Daniel is at basketball practice," she said, as if puzzling through a problem, "so
who
-"
I couldn't let her finish that sentence. "-Mrs Dawson! I was hoping you would be in!" I said in the most chirpy and innocent tone I could muster.
"Really?" Shirley raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," I said, scrambling my brains for something that could have prompted me to arrive dressed like this at her home with the specific intention of speaking to her. Why in the world would I have dressed like a sexy K-pop icon if I was intending to speak to my boyfriend's mother?