ATTENTION TO ANY READERS: This story is not appropriate for readers under the age of 18. This story is entirely fictional. All characters are 18 years old or older. The content deals with intense sexual themes.
Please note: I need to give a huge thanks to another author who has helped me with this story. I am indebted to Addie-Q for her encouragement, inspiration, patience and her eye for details. Plus, she gratefully gave me permission to "borrow" some of her beautiful text. From my heart, thank you!
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My wife died when our daughter Carrie was just twelve. That was six years ago. Since that day she is all I have. I miss my wife terribly and I really worry that I haven't been the father my daughter truly needs. I have done the best I can, but being an only parent has been really hard. Carrie deserves so much more.
Her mother was struck down by a heart condition. Nobody knew she had any kind of a problem, not even her. I came home from work on a lovely summer afternoon to find her lying peacefully in the backyard on a blanket in the shade. It was normal for her to take naps like this. By all accounts, she died peacefully in her sleep. The doctors think that it happened quickly with very little suffering.
Since that day I've had to care for Carrie all by myself. I feel bad because she saw me emotionally devastated; I was swallowed up with grief. I know that I should have been stronger, but for a long time after her death I was just too withdrawn to be any kind of a father. I worry that I just wasn't there for my daughter.
Time has passed, but it still bothers me that I couldn't have been more attentive to her. I guess I've been trying to make up for that time ever since. Even though Carrie is still my baby, she is growing into a beautiful young woman.
Besides being a little bit shy, Carrie had been a perfectly normal child. She can be funny and silly and she's a good student with excellent grades. She also made sure to look after me. She has done a lot to deal with the day to day stuff in our lives. With her mother gone I truly needed her help.
She had a close buddy named Danny that she had known since elementary school. They had always been good friends as they were growing up. He was a sweet kid and he always looked out for her, and I know she appreciated it.
Early in Carrie's senior year in high school, Danny asked Carrie out on a date. She told me about it that same day, she said he was very formal and polite about it but she could tell he was super nervous. I asked Carrie if she said yes, and I clearly remember her excitingly telling saying me that of course she said yes.
She and Danny were both 18 at that point and they were a really cute couple. It's funny, she had never really gone steady with anyone until that point in her life. That surprised me because a lot of her friends were dating boys. She never said it, but I think she was waiting for Danny to ask her out. I remember how happy she seemed during those months when she and Danny were dating.
This is hard for me to think about, but I am pretty certain that Danny and Carrie had been sleeping together. I don't know for sure, but that's what I suspect. As her father it's really difficult to think that my beautiful daughter is no longer a virgin, but I have to say, I am happy that it happened with him. He was simply wonderful to her. He was kind and loving in a way that really warmed my heart.
I know she was deeply in love with him. He was a really great kid, I really liked him.
He worked in a bicycle shop on the main street of our little town. One morning earlier in the year, there was some sort of gas leak, and the book store across the street caught fire. Danny saw it happen. There was a sweet old woman that owned the store and she was inside that morning. There was an inferno almost instantly and everything happened too fast for her to get out.
Danny ran from across the street to try to save her. He went into the flaming building but he never came out. Both of us just broke down that terrible day.
Now he's gone and Carrie has been in a kind of emotional shock ever since. She's been quiet and hard to reach. Now she acts nervous and scared. She lost a lover in that fire, and I understand just exactly what that means. It can feel impossible to bear.
It's normal for her to be sad, but she has been withdrawn in a way that makes me feel scared. I can't help but worry. It's like she's overwhelmed with sadness. The trauma is real and there is just no way to comprehend how it will effect someone as sensitive as my daughter.
It's probably impossible for anyone to truly understand what we've been though; both Carrie and I have been dealing with such terrible losses. I think there will always be a part of both of us that is forever lonely because of the hand that fate dealt us.
I just want to see that spark of life in her again.
Carrie is really beautiful, but I am sure any father would say that about his daughter. The thing is, the way she has been acting so timid has been really challenging for me. I just want to help her to feel less sad about everything. To hear her talk to me in that quiet timid whisper makes me feel so sad.
Sometimes I call her "My Baby" or "Little Carrie" and maybe I shouldn't. But that's what I've always called her and I can tell she likes it. I asked her about it just last week. I told her that I realized that she was probably getting too old for me to keep calling her the same little pet names. She told me not to worry and that she truly loved it when I called her "My Baby." I really felt relieved when she told me it was okay to call her by the same cute nicknames that I've used all her life.
My daughter has this amazing light red hair that she always keeps pulled back in a modest ponytail Her skin is really pale with a few pink freckles around her nose. She's short, probably just five feet tall, but at the same time she seems sort of gangly, like she hasn't figured out how to be comfortable in her body yet.
Her most striking feature is her great big blue eyes. They are so beautiful and so expressive. Sometimes I see such neediness in the way she looks at me and it really breaks my heart. She is just so timid and nervous, and as her father, I can't help but feel a deep sense of concern. Whenever she looks up at me with those big adorable eyes all I want to do is give her some relief from her sadness. She has such an innocent way about her, and it makes me feel so devoted and protective.
The winter was long and gray, and now it's finally summer again. She came up to me and timidly asked me if we could go swimming together. There is a pretty little pond near our house, a small lake really. We used to spend a lot of time there. It's an easy walk on a path through the woods behind our house. Neither of us has been there in the last few years, mostly because it brings back too many memories of her mother. At first I didn't know if I wanted to go back to that spot, but she asked so sweetly that I couldn't help but say yes.
Carrie ran upstairs to change while I filled a big tote bag with towels and a few snacks. I went into my bedroom and put on my bathing suit and when I walked back downstairs I found her waiting on the back porch in an oversized sweatshirt hoody and a pair of baggy overalls. It was funny; she always wears clothes that look so big on her that it makes her seem even smaller than she already is. It seemed sad to see such a beautiful young woman dressed in a way that was so frumpy.
In just a few minutes we were walking together out to the edge of the neighborhood and then on that dark path through the woods heading to that secluded pond. We didn't talk much as we walked down that path. It felt sad in a way, visiting that pretty swimming spot without her mother seemed emotional, but at the same time I was so content to be with Carrie on such a warm and lovely day. She was walking in front of me on the narrow path through the forest, and I couldn't help but look at her hair.
She always kept her hair pulled back in a ponytail and it was just barely long enough to stay tied back. I always thought that little "tail" looked so incredibly cute; it was just a short little bunch of hair that poked out from the back of her head. It's funny; it would always start out neat and tight. But, before too long is would start getting a little sloppy and she would end up with stray strands hanging down in front of her eyes. I always thought she looked even more adorable when her hair would end up all messy like that.
I watched her walking, and that little ponytail bobbed a tiny bit with each step.
When we got to the pond we walked along the sandy shore until we got to a small little cove with an opening in the trees. It was a small grassy meadow that seemed almost magical in its beauty. I laid out the towels as Carrie took off her sweatshirt and overalls and set them on the tall grass. She was wearing her bathing suit underneath everything and before I realized what was happening she was standing in front of me in her yellow bikini. This was the exact same bathing suit she used to wear when we would come here with her mother.
She has kind of outgrown it, I mean, it still seemed to fit, but just barely.
I have to admit that my daughter looked incredibly cute in that bikini. Actually, she still looked a lot like her mother; she has the same red hair and freckles, and those same great big blue eyes. She is really pale and sometimes it seems like her smooth skin is almost glowing.
It's funny, even though she's graduated from high school, she is still looks a little bit like she's still in elementary school. I'm sort of tall so when we stand side by side, or hug, I feel like I am protecting her. She isn't really into make-up or fashion like most of the girls her age, so she still has that same tomboy appearance she's always had.
Seeing my daughter in that yellow bikini reminded me so much of how her mother looked when we first started dating. We were both 18 years old, and I remember how I thought she was the most beautiful young woman in the world.
