I think my mom wants to fuck me, but I can't be sure. I mean, there is no way that can be happening, right? I must be pretty desperate to think something like that is even possible. It has been a while since I had a girlfriend. But lately, well, there are a couple of incidences that I just can't stop thinking about.
I starting living with my mother again after my father passed. It was sudden, but not unexpected. He had been in intensive care for some time. He was the best father I could have asked for, and I feel that I never had enough time with him. I was always spending so much time trying to earn enough money to live on my own that I didn't realize I was missing out on valuable time with my family. After I lost him, I realized how little time I might really have with my mother. You never know what will happen.
So I quit that terrible job, found something a bit more relaxed, and my mother was ecstatic when I asked her if she wanted some company. A lot of mothers would have wanted time to themselves, but she has always been very social, and I can't imagine her ever living alone.
She was still active and vibrant, more so even than I remembered from childhood. She was athletic and somewhat tomboyish in nature, always very active and trying to do something. I had never met another woman like her. Her golden brown hair was bright and bouncy, and her eyes almost glowed amber, like honey. She wore a pink sweater and long brown skirt. There was a tan line where her ring ought to be. I wasn't surprised, my father had been saying for a long time that she was not the kind of woman to do well alone, and he didn't want her to waste any time if anything happened to him. I wasn't sure how I felt about her being on the prowl again
"I get up at eight for my yoga tapes," she said, "Do you want to join me? It always so hard to wake up so early unless I have a partner, and Jamie is out of town this week!" She seemed desperate. "Anyway, you can sleep in if you want to. I don't want to be a bother. I can even get you breakfast in bed, like the good old days!" She seemed very happy about that. I had been worried that she would feel awkward about this. I didn't want to interfere with her life.
"I mean, if you really want, I could use a good excuse to get up too." I nodded. "I can work anywhere really, so long as I meet my deadlines. I can head on out to some cafe for most of the day if you have plans. Thank you so much for letting me stay again! Rent isn't getting any cheaper around here!"
She seemed upset, but in a playfully way, "Stop thanking me! You're acting like I'm sacrificing some big thing!" She smiled, "And please, if I'm not distracting you, I'd love it if you stayed in the house. It gets so lonely..." She stared into her coffee, then shook her head, "Unless of course, you want me to distract you?" She joked and winked, sticking her tongue out. "If you ever need to relieve from stress from work, I mean."
"Haha!" I laughed because I didn't know what to say. It was my first hint that something strange was happening. But then again, she did enjoy teasing me. I tried to turn off that part of my brain. I refused to believe my mother was capable of flirting with her son like that. It must have been some joke I didn't get. "I guess we could do some gardening or something? Do you still do that?" I guessed that was what she was talking about. It was something we had bonded over in the past.
She gasped and clapped her hands together, "Right! It's been forever since I tidied up your plot! It's all covered in weeds now! We can fix it right back up!" She seemed very enthusiastic. "I can't believe I had forgotten, last time I saw you plant something, you were just a little boy. Well, little-er. You'll always be my little boy." She smiled again.
"I am a man now, you know that, right mom?" I teased her.
"Oh, yes, I know that very well." She took a sharp intake of air, "Mommy's big man, all grown up." She winked again as she sipped her coffee. "Maybe you'll be dolling out the spankings from now on, hmm?"
"I guess what I'm saying is," I got back to topic, trying to ignore the playful wriggle she made in her seat when she said that, "It would be great if we could do more things together."
She thought about it, "So, you are saying you want to," She made a face, as if the coffee were more tasty than usual, "Plant something?" She raised an eyebrow, resting her face on her hands. "In my garden? With me? Like what?" She gave another playful wiggle. "Honestly, it's a bit unruly down there, I haven't been keeping it up like I should lately."
"Well, whatever you are in the mood for I guess?"
"Well, I certainly am in the mood. I have been for a while," She mused, "I think I want something big. And hard." She enunciated. "Let's plant it deep."
"Like a tree or something? Sure. I think there is a great place on the other side of the magnolia in the backyard."
"In my backyard?" She asked, a little surprised. She seemed contemplative for a few moments before explaining, "I could do that if you wanted. I mean, it's really dirty back there, and I'll need some time to clean it up first. And it's been a long time since I planted anything back there, but I think I could get used to it again, for you." she seemed insecure about it. "It might be a tight fit, but I guess that's the appeal. It was something for special occasions when your father was around. We should probably practice with some small stuff first, just so I can get used to it again."
"It sounds like a lot of work." I admitted. "But if it makes you happy, sure thing. I trust you know what you are doing. Personally, I'm not that interested in carrots or tomatoes or anything. I'm too impatient."
She smiled and shrugged "If you wanted to jump into the fun stuff, we can! We just need to be careful. We don't want to damage anything." Mom was always an environmentalist. I didn't realize she knew so much about soil nutrients. "Actually, the more I talk about it, the more interested I get!" She seemed sold on the idea now, "It's new and different. I'd love to do that with you. I'll get to work getting it all clean and loosened up back there for you! Or, perhaps, you can help me if you gently plow it? I have some toys, er, tools that might be just right for the job."
I agreed, "I guess anything we plant is fine, and anywhere for that matter. You know. I just want to be around you is all."
"If that's the case, is the front yard fair game too?" She looked relieved. "Thank goodness! I personally prefer it there myself. It is more dangerous of course. If something fruits from that, then, well," She seemed bashful, "What would the neighbors would think?"
"Oh, yea, we did have a plot there too didn't we?" I nodded, "Screw the neighbors though, when did we care about what they thought? It's not like there are any rules in the neighborhood association about that."
"My thoughts exactly." She smiled as if they were on the same page. "Speaking of fruits, what do you think of mine?"
"Oh, the pears out front?"
"Pears?" She looked down, then up, and huffed, "Grapefruits at least!"
"We grew grapefruits?"
"Well, I did." She teased, leaning deep and bending over the table.
"Oh. I didn't realize we lived in the right climate for that. But yea, we could try that if you have it."
"What about my hips?"
"Sorry? Oh! Rose hips! Oh, yes, I remember we made tea from that one year. Ripe, full, strong, and sweet. I think those hips are great! I'm glad you still have them!" She smiled and bounced in her seat again. "Is that bush still alive?"
She grimaced. "I'm not that old you know." She mumbled. "Not yet."
"Sorry?"
