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Please
This is a work of fiction and all characters are above the age of 18.
Listen to me.
I am off my antidepressant, pandemic isolated and thinking of spending time behind closed doors with my nineteen-year-old son. No. I need to be more honest with you. Behind closed doors is a really just a euphemism for the sexual urges I struggle with daily. It means, in the most clear and definitive way, that I want to crawl all over him.
I want to satisfy my own lust and to then satisfy his. I want to use my body to make him lose his mind. I want to devour him. I want to suck him so very gently. I want to bring him to the edge of sanity and push him over. I want to own him and never be alone again.
I need to know you are listening because I am desperate. I swear to you, the pandemic has made me insane.
I am desperate to feel again. I am desperate to experience pleasure and to orgasm with the gentle and loving hand of another. I am so tired of the false satisfaction of toys. I need connection to address my lust.
Truth be told, I would be every bit as pleased to be taken by a rough hand. To be pushed up against a wall in my bedroom and have fingers go to places that make me lose control. I of course would resist in a vain attempt to save face; I struggle against the fingers that fill me. I sense I am falling, and that first wave of warmth emanates from my warm soft middle. It is a moment of madness. I hold onto a corner dresser and the second wave hits. I tremble and hear sounds that are not human come from my throat. This is not normal. This is animal. I cum for what seems like forever.
I lie in the center of the bed alone and am largely unable to move. The bed is white, and it is clean. I rest.
My name is Anne, and I am forty-four years old. I am a dominant and have been most of my life. It's probably the reason that my mirage to Tom failed as he was unable to handle what he called the abuse. For the record, being dominant is not abuse. I took very good care of him sexually in our marriage and he was never unsatisfied. I think he resented what he perceived as my sexual power over him.
As a former nurse, I know how to bring pleasure to men in ways that play far more than to just their fantasies. I know how to control and excite with just my words.
Once early last summer, on a very rainy Sunday morning in a quiet corner of post-op, I made a patient orgasm with just my words. All I really did was whisper to him very gently, my face so close to his soft warm cheek. It did not take long. I felt his body jerk and saw the stain form on his hospital jonnie. I looked away to avoid embarrassing him. The feeling of power sent me to the rest room to deal with my own lust shortly afterwards.
By the way, despite what nurses will say they do use their hands-on patients. It happens every single day in every single hospital. It is even more prevalent in the richer European countries, especially at private clinics where the wealthy go to convalesce. Those who attend to patients know that if you see a nurse walk into a room with a few towels and closes the door, you do not knock and enter. You just walk on to your next patient.
When the pull around curtain is engaged, it is so easy to use just a bit of hospital lube in your hand to finish your patient. I do this rarely, but I love how it feels to me. Upon that first touch, I feel their body tense. I whisper to them very gently.
"Shhhhh, let me help you"
I feel them relax a bit. I connect my thumb to my first finger making a very flat O in order to maximize skin contact and play to the desperation of the moment. I go back and forth just below the head and I can feel the need build. The most pleasurable time for me is in the last 30 thirty seconds or so. I feel myself moisten as they get so very close and I whisper to them one more time.
"Shhhh. Please."
I gently put the other hand on their mouth. Most lose it right there. I feel them release into my hand. I smile as I feel them throb and think of the unequal power dynamics between us. They are fearful, alone and vulnerable. I am here for them and I bring them physical pleasure and release. I bring them a smiling woman who is caring for them who uses her skills to comfort, excite and relax. I can assure you that is good medicine.