The following is a sequel to my story "Skinny Dipping with Mom." Thank you to everyone here who's taken the time to read, email, comment and/or offer feedback on my stories.
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After mom left for work, I cleaned up the kitchen, sat and ate breakfast.
During breakfast, I couldn't help but think that, damn, I'd had sex with my mom. My own mother. I'd actually put my penis inside her. I couldn't believe it. My own mother. I'd fucked her. I'd actually fucked her. Not just once, but twice.
The realization of it hit like a ton of bricks. Then I started to worry. We'd fucked without a condom. What if I got her pregnant? She wasn't that old, my mom, she probably could still get pregnant. What if I'd knocked her up? What would we do then?
I wanted to talk to someone. But who could I turn to? None of my friends would believe me. Any shrink I talked to would probably try to send me to a psych ward. I suddenly felt alone and confused. My thoughts raced...
So... So what now? What do we do? Where would mom and I's relationship go? Would we date casually or would it get serious? Could it get serious? Could you have a serious romantic relationship with your mother?
And what if we did? What if we did have a serious relationship? How would it work? We couldn't stay here, could we? What could we do?
Maybe... Maybe we could sneak off, run away to another country, like somewhere romantic in Europe, somewhere around the Mediterranean. Maybe get married.
I thought of us as husband and wife, traveling the world. Us in France, strolling the streets of Paris, hand in hand, sitting in cafes, drinking espresso out of tiny cups, eating fancy cheese, drinking wine and fucking in the afternoons. I saw us there.
We could do that, couldn't we? Sure, we'd have to change our names, take new identities, but we could do it...
If mom was indeed pregnant, I'd have to marry her. And knew I'd certainly make a better husband to her than dad ever was. That much I knew for sure.
Getting up from the table, I did my best to compose myself, loaded my dishes into the machine, and slapped some cold water on my face. I poured a dash of whiskey into my coffee and wished mom was there so I could talk to her about everything.
At that particular moment in time, there was no one in the world I wanted to see or talk to more than her.
**********
The rest of the day I thought about mom and did housework, cleaning and scrubbing everything and I searched for jobs online. I cooked some pasta, too, late afternoon, so it would be ready for mom when she came back.
Finally, at 5:30, she got home. She looked tired. And pissed.
"Hey mom..." I said, meeting her at the door, my arms outstretched, ready to hug and kiss her hello.
"Don't you 'hey' me!" She snapped back, in a hostile tone.
"What's wrong?" I inquired, confused about her sudden change in demeanor from this morning to now.
"I've been thinking about what happened last night and this morning, too. And I'm not comfortable with it at all. I'm not comfortable with this..."
"Look, I'm sorry, mom, about last night. I just got carried away in the moment."
"Sorry is something you say about breaking a vase. It doesn't cut it when you basically date rape your mother! You acted like an out of control, horny 8th grader! This morning too! Though I'm probably just as much to blame for that one..."
"Well I don't know what to say... I feel bad. I wanted to have sex with you, mom. You're beautiful. When you were naked around me, I just lost it. I guess part of it was because it'd been a while since I'd, you know... Listen, what can I do? What can I do, mom? What can I do to make it better? To make it up to you?"
"I don't know right now. I think this whole thing, and especially my irresponsible actions this morning were totally wrong. I think they need to stop."
"No, please, no, mom. I love you. I want to be with you. There's nothing wrong with what we did. We were both lonely. We both are lonely. We're friends. We're grown up. Why not?"
"I just have a terrible feeling about the whole thing. We need to stop it. We can't ever do it again. No more."
"Is it about getting pregnant? Because I have to admit, I'm worried about that, too. We weren't exactly safe..."
"No, I'm still on the pill."
"You are? I thought you hadn't been with anyone since dad?"
"I haven't. I take it for other reasons. It keeps my monthly visitor regular, and, wait, why am I elaborating on this? It's beside the point. No more! And if you try to get too frisky again, you're out on the street!"
"But if you get naked in front of me again, it'd be hard..."
My quip and unintentional pun lightened the mood. We both laughed and I stepped forward and hugged her. She kind of cowered away but reluctantly hugged back. After we broke apart, she looked me in the eyes.
"I'm not saying it wasn't good. I just don't think it's right, what we've been doing. I don't feel comfortable with it. And I don't think we should ever mention it again, to each other, or to anyone. Christ Almighty, we're in Texas! They'd probably have us on Death Row in Huntsville if it ever reached the cops. This has to be our secret and our secret alone and can never, ever happen again."
It choked me up when I thought about it, but I guessed she was right. Besides the obvious problems with it, being where we were, the cops probably wouldn't take too kindly to me fucking my mom in the Gulf or in her kitchen or anywhere, really.
We probably should call it off, I figured, even though I definitely didn't want that.
"You're gonna be a great catch for whatever girl you finally settle down with." Mom said, cupping her hands on my face.
"Thanks, mom. I love you." I told her and noticed she was tearing up a bit. We hugged again, this time for longer, and then broke apart.
"I still need a man around here, though, just not in that way..." She told me, sniveling and wiping her runny nose with her hand.
"I'll get some tissues." I told her, spinning 180 degrees and cutting toward the living room.
"It's alright. I'll go take a shower and we'll eat." She said, her voice trailing off as she dashed away to her bedroom.
It was a lot to take in, what had just happened. My mom had sort of dumped me. But was it really dumping me?
I mean, she had a point, if anyone ever found out... But I wondered if maybe someone already had. We were loud this morning and any nosy neighbor could have easily glanced out the window last night and seen us frolicking in the water.