Is This Love 1

A story written 15-odd years ago and which I have constantly fiddled with since. Finally decided to throw it out to the world in the hope that means I leave it alone.

*****

Hanna looked worried. 'A baby? Are you sure?'

I nodded. 'If you want us to remain together then that is what it will take.'

'But why me?'

'Think about it, young lady! My bosses won't accept me taking maternity leave - especially since I'm not married! They were bad enough about my divorce. And anyway, its not like it would interrupt your current glittering career is it, hmm?'

Cruel, but true.

'But couldn't it wait, just a year or two at least?'

Her voice was starting to crack up - suddenly her world was caving in. 'It's not much to ask.'

'It may not seem like much to you, but it is my one and only condition. I will not suffer another week between us like this last one.'

Hanna was almost in tears. Her hands were clutching at each other, just above her stomach.

'I promise it won't happen again! Please, Jo, I know I was stupid, and maybe I did take your love for granted, but I couldn't take the future without you,' she begged, her eyes starting to fill.

'But you having a child...?' I pushed her.

'Jo! Please, is there nothing else? Are you telling me it is this or we are finished?'

I watched the tears slowly roll down her pretty cheeks.

Her eyes were pleading with me, but I had to hold firm to my threat, despite the fact that treating her like this was tearing me up inside almost as much as it was her.

The tears had flowed just as freely, though, a mere two days ago when I caught her with another girl whose dress was decidedly dishevelled - oh, she protested at the time that nothing had happened and that I was just over-reacting, but her partner definitely had a guilty look on her face: possibly she was the one who had lost the panties I found under my bedside locker this morning.

'Yes, Hanna, I'm afraid it is,' I grimly confirmed. 'I want you to show me you are totally committed to me, to us, to our relationship together. And if you can't do that, well, then there would be little left for either of us except for you to sleep in the spare room tonight and leave here in the morning.'

'Nooooo!' she wailed, grabbing for my arm.

I stepped back, away from her, and she slipped to her knees, her head in her hands with her pitiful keening tearing at my heart. 'I am serious, Han. That is all there is to be said - you, me, and a baby or you, gone from my life. Do you understand?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanna was beautiful; why she had linked up with me I could never fathom.

I was nearly twelve years older than her and had been drifting along in my middle-age as the divorced head teacher of a private girls school, a lonely old woman.

Then one Friday afternoon, out of the blue almost, I found myself chatting to this astonishingly beautiful young local government statistician at the annual Old Girls reunion, organised as part of the schools annual sports day.

I shocked myself further by missing the official afternoon tea due to the fact that I was locked in my study, enthusiastically lapping at the crotch of this stunning, twenty-three year old former pupil, something that was promptly reciprocated by her when she came down from her orgasm!

I couldn't even remember what had been said that had led two apparently straight women to immediately enter into a homosexual relationship anymore, but it had obviously worked - that had been four years ago.

She had quietly moved into the head mistresses house with me not long after that first meeting - a cottage neatly set in the schools grounds but discreetly hidden behind tall hedges and with its own entrance, it was the perfect place for an old woman deeply in lust with her beautiful young lesbian lover, with exhibitionist tendencies.

With my blessing she quit her job so that we could be together 24/7; she took me clubbing at the weekends, in sweaty clubs with loud music and raunchy sex together in dark, sticky corners, and I took her on holiday to exotic locations worldwide, where we usually stayed in bed having gloriously lazy sex for over half the vacation.

We went naked at nudist beaches - initially a first for me, if not Hanna - and engaged in all sorts of sexual activities in all sorts of places, the sort of thing that, had we been caught, would have resulted in dismissal from my position.

What, to me, felt like the most dangerous thing we did was attending a big gay pride march in London the year after she moved in with me, where we were interviewed by a TV news reporter; we were both dressed as burlesque artistes, in risqué costume, with me wearing a mask so that my identity was disguised, although it was still as much a turn on as it was frightening when we were featured on that evenings news.

Nearly as scary was attending last years naked bicycle ride, also in London, where we rode about wearing nothing more than our training shoes, cycle helmets and a smile, with a layer of face paint for disguise!

I painted Hanna's face like a ginger cat and she painted mine with lots of colourful flowers.

We also painted slogans on each others back - I wrote 'lesbians on bikes' on Hanna, but I only found out later that she wrote 'hard riding dyke bike' on my back when I saw my picture in an online event gallery!

It was all thrilling and scary in equal measures, and I wouldn't have done any of it without Hanna by my side but, if I am honest, I never really thought we would last as long as we have.

In my mind I think I always assumed that the girl who turned out to be the surprise love of my life so far would get bored at some point and run off to do something different with someone else.

This assumption was now taking a real kicking because my threat, the option I assumed she would grab with both hands because she was fed up of life with me, was really being taken to heart by the girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She looked up at me, red eyed and pale faced with tears running down her cheeks.

'Yes, yes I do understand,' she sobbed. 'Please, Jo, don't throw me out! I'll do anything you ask of me, anything at all. I want to be part of your life, a part of you!'

She threw her arms around me, hugged me tightly, sobbing into my chest, and this time I let her, since she had accepted my request.

The decision had been made.

I put my arms around the distraught girl but did not return the hug, not yet.

'And the baby...?' My voice was steely calm. I needed to hear it from her, for her to say the words.

'If that is what it takes, if that's what you really want, then yes. I'll have a baby.'

'No. You will have my baby, Hanna.'

She looked at me in the same resigned manner that I expect condemned men go calmly to their firing squad.

'Ok! I'll have your baby. Our child!' She kissed my neck, hugging me even closer. 'Oh god I love you!'

'And I love you back. Sometimes,' I muttered, hoping that Hanna understood her dig.

'But now you are going to pay for your recent indiscretions, unless you have an objection?'

She did not reply, but took my hand and led me up to our bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'You keep saying it will be your child, but how do you figure that out?'

Hanna was naked, snuggled up beside me in bed.

'You don't need to worry about that now,' I tried to take her mind off that subject by stroking her thigh.

'But I want to know! Will you have one of your eggs fertilised and inserted in my womb?'

'Don't worry.'

'And who will be the father?'

Hanna persisted, almost to the point of annoyance.

'It will be my baby, Hanna, and you will be my baby's mother. We will be a family, together,' I said firmly, trying to imply that further discussion was off limits.

She turned her head to me, a look of confusion washing over her face.

'You really believe that, don't you?'

I decided to change the angle of the conversation. 'Are you on a contraceptive pill or something?'

She shook her head.

'So when is your next period due? I'm ashamed to say that I've never noticed.'

'You want us to get down to it now?' Hanna hauled herself up, crooked her elbow and rested her head on one arm whilst gazing at me.

'You really are a woman, aren't you?' Her free hand brushed over my sparse pubic hair, groping, checking me to make sure.

'I never noticed any abnormalities when I've been down there,' she chuckled.

'You just let me sort that out, Han. Let me worry about it...'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The airport arrivals area was its usual busy self.

I held a handwritten sign up, with "Dr Benham" neatly written on the front, as I stood waiting at the gate.

'Hello!' I had watched him as he'd turned the corner and approached the crowd waiting at the barrier.

"Dr Benham" was tall and smooth with his dark brown hair turning a distinguished grey, wore an expensive royal blue, well cut designer suit, patent leather brown shoes and dark tinted glasses, even though it was early evening and we were outside the arrivals hall.

'Hiya handsome,' I growled as I lent forward and kissed him on the lips.

He returned my kiss and, just to be daring, added his tongue to our passionate little party.

Others waiting close by cast us envious looks.

Linking arms I led him and his suitcase trolley out of the terminal to the car park.

'How's the school?'

His voice carried just a hint of an accent.

'Schools fine. How's the practise?'

I nodded as I helped him wedge the suitcases in the boot of my car

'Going well, hope to perfect it one day!'

We both laughed at the old joke.

He closed the car door and quietly posed his question. 'What broke it up in the end?'

'With Greg? He took to watching my younger teachers and that was getting noticed by the jealous, older members of staff. It was either him or the job.'

I sighed, settling into the drivers seat and starting the engine. 'Strange that, when I finally threw him out he then subsequently set up house with a boy of twenty-one,' I snorted dryly.

'Ha, nearly ten years of marriage and I didn't know of that kink.'

He nodded in an understanding manner. 'So who is the lucky man in your life now?'

'I don't have a man in my life at the moment. Like I've got the time to even go out on the pull, let alone break in a new set of balls,' I snorted.

'What about you? I understand there was a vacancy, not so long ago.'

'Well, she didn't like my wandering eye but she knew about it before the wedding; hell, she cheated with me on a previous girlfriend! Lucky we both signed a pre-nuptial before-hand.'

He chuckled sadly. 'But now I have a couple of friendly nurses who, ah, take care of my every need!'

'Girlies in uniform,' I chuckled.

'Every man's favourite fantasy.'

'Oh yeah,' he chuckled, 'Nice fantasy, but one of them wears the trousers.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'You, being ordered around?'

He nearly broke into a grin.

'No, he isn't very dominating.'

'Neat.' Maybe I should have been shocked, but it wasn't the first time I had heard of this aspect of his sexuality.

'Anyway, welcome home Joe.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We ate at a little restaurant in the village, close to the school.

The maître d' is an old friend of mine - I've brought quite a lot parents there, school governors, people like that - and served us personally, but even he gave the two of us a double-take.

Joe's hair was dark brown but has noticeable flecks of steel grey which will one day become the dominant colour.

My original hair colour was also dark brown but I will admit to adding hi-lights and tints every so often, to avoid becoming too distinguished.

Joe has the tanned skin of someone who lives, works, and plays in California, and he carries himself with a confidence that demonstrates he knows that he is as fit as he looks.

I don't get the opportunity to workout very often, except with Hanna, but do get to use my sun bed occasionally - when I can turf the girl from it.

But the head waiters surprise was not all that unusual; in fact if I had taken Joe into school then there would have been an awful lot of jaws dropping open at how similar his features were to those of their headmistress.

I have always kept very quiet about my friends (witness Hanna, who absolutely no-one at school knows about, let alone her close relationship with me), my family and, most especially, my twin brother...

'So why did you ask me here?'

'I need a reason? You were passing through; I thought you might like to see your favourite sister.'

'To see you is always a pleasure, sure, but it has been nearly five years, maybe closer to six, and I have passed through before, several times...'

His chuckle was deep and rich.

'You forget, I can always tell when you are lying, even on the phone or in your emails.'

I smiled, warmly. 'So why did you accept my invitation?'

'To see my beloved sister,' he smiled back, 'of course. Nothing could bring me greater pleasure.'

He fixed me with his gaze.

'Let me change the subject, then, if you are not going to come clean. You know, they still occasionally ask me if I know why you gave up your medical studies to take up teaching instead.'

We both understood who 'they' were.

'You're still getting asked that question and that's why you came to see me?'

I returned his gaze.

#########

It had been a long time ago. Ancient history.

I had completed my several years of initial studies and had chosen to specialise in genetics.

That I had met my ex-husband-to-be at a university party led to the general assumption that I gave up medicine to follow him into teaching, but that was just a convenient excuse, really.

In our family of physicians some things had always been expected from offspring, and my life had long been mapped out for me - for both Joe and I in fact.

So when the unexpected chance to rebel against that familial authority came along (in fact something I had not even allowed space for in my mind until the moment it happened) I seized upon that opportunity with both hands.

I immediately dropped out of medical school and changed over to teacher training college to be with cute Greg McKenzie, to whom I married three years later.

None of my family had never said anything directly to my face, of course, but by then I knew I was being regarded as a failure, the family black sheep, the embarrassment to be spoken of in patronising tones by my siblings at family get-togethers and the like.

A sort of invisible wall seemed to be built up about them to keep me out.

Joe (still "Joseph?" to our parents) did his best to treat me as he had always done, and I feel, hoped even, that he appealed to them not to be so hasty in their harsh judgement of me.

Even when I succeeded in becoming the youngest head teacher of a small, but expensive, private school (and one of the youngest heads in the education system, according to an article in one of the broadsheets) I felt I was still regarded by them as only marginally less of a failure than when I gave up medicine.

It had been eight years since I had last attended one of the family's events; I didn't even read their emails anymore.

#########

'They were disappointed in my decision? You do surprise me!'

'Jo, no one is passing judgement on your life,' Joe shook his head, sadly.

'But they were not exactly cheering about it either, were they?'

The tone of my voice displayed my disgust.

'I made the mistake of following my heart, and here I am. Will I ever be forgiven?'

'They still love you, Jo; of course they do. You are still the sister and daughter you have always been. You have climbed to the summit of your career-path, you are a professional. They can respect that.'

'Yeah, right. I am sure they do.'

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. 'And you, dear brother?'

'We are one, Jo. You know enough to understand where we started! Of course, I knew you were hurting; I could feel your pain at every gathering, every time there was some sort of family get-together. I understand entirely why you stopped going home, cut yourself off from them,' he nodded.

'But you appear to have no pain now. I certainly haven't felt anything from you recently. If I didn't know better I would have said you were in love!'

'I told you, there is no man in my life at the moment.'

Well, that wasn't a lie that he was going to latch on to.

'So it's been a while?' He raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile.

'Yes, it has been quite a while,' I agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I groaned loudly.

The similarity between a rubber dildo and a real flesh and blood penis can be fairly close, but there is nothing to beat the feeling of a good old cock with a man attached!

I groaned again.

'Please Jo, roll over.'

We had returned to the school after leaving the restaurant.

I had given him a teachers cottage for the night, one of the two older ones that were empty because they are to be refurbished shortly; this one was next door to mine and with its overgrown garden it would, hopefully be well out of the sight of any of my colleagues in the other teachers houses.

He fully understood the reason why it was important for him not to be spied by anyone from the school.

I let him ease himself out of my pussy and then got on my hands and knees.

I was worried Joe would try and slip into my arse - a cheeky throwback to his male nurse lover maybe, but also something that he used to find very amusing when we were growing up.

He did run the head of his dick between my buttocks but fortunately let it slide into my expectant pussy as it came level instead.

'Oh yes!'

My screams sent him over the edge and he filled the condom I had forced him to wear ('Sorry! My period is approaching, you know?' He didn't make any comment if he felt that I was lying about that).

'Oh, Jo. There has never been anyone quite like you!'

We lay in each others arms, relaxing in that post-coital warmth.

'Mmm? Never?'

'Never, he agreed.

'I loved Vanity enough to marry her over all the other girls I'd ever fucked, but that was only because I couldn't marry my own sister.'

He held me close.

'I actually talked to someone about it-'

'You talked about us?' I interrupted him, worried that he had given the game away.

'NO! Good grief no. Of course not!' he laughed.

'I said that I had a set of twins that I was worried about, who could apparently sense each others feelings, their highs and lows, and who appeared to only have a successful sexual relationship with each other. This consultant said that it was quite a common thing between twins apparently. In fact, under certain circumstances they remain close throughout their lives, sometimes finding it difficult to live separate lives apart, sometimes even carrying on their incestuous relationships through divorces and seeking out the solace they can only find with each other.'

'Very nice, Joe, very poetic, but I've really got to piss,' I chuckled, before reaching down and gently, carefully, lovingly removed the condom.

'You're the first girl who has ever done that for me!' Joe was impressed.

'Although this is the first condom we've ever worn together, so I am not sure if this is the sort of thing you normally do for your lovers,' he smiled.

Ah, if only he knew...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I came back to bed I helped him to regain his erection with a little mouth-play.

'Jo, I've got to leave in the morning.'

'I know.'

'Are you... Will... Can we-'

'I'd better not spend the night with you, Joe. You have another flight in less than twelve hours, and you need your beauty sleep!'