"Jack, I need you to do me a favor."
I looked up. My sister Jill stood in the doorway to my bedroom. Jill is 20 and a junior in college, I am a senior. She has brown hair, an athletic build and larger than average breasts. Not a total knockout, but not bad to look at either.
Yes, our mother Janet named us Jack and Jill. Our dad, John -- left years ago. We still see him less and less as we get older. The emphasis on the letter J in our family runs deep: We have an aunt Julie and sister-cousins Josie and Jenny. More on them next time.
"Jack?"
"What," I looked up again. I shifted to sit up on my bed from where I was doing some homework. I pushed the books aside giving her room to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Mom has been super cranky and irritable lately."
"So, what does that have to do with me?"
"We need to get her laid, and soon."
"What?" I asked incredulously.
"I don't think she has had sex since dad left. That's more than 4 years ago."
I looked at her and thought about this. "She needs a boyfriend. Seems like you can help her with that more than I can."
"Long term, yes. But dating can be hit or miss, and she may not find someone at all." She thought about it quietly. "I don't think she has had a date, or even wants to date. She is so stressed at work and with taking care of us and the house, she doesn't give herself any time for a personal life anymore."
I nodded in agreement. "Still, why are you so concerned with our mom's sex life? And why the urgency?"
"Her 40
th
is coming up, and I'm concerned about her stress. Plus it's a milestone age, some people get depressed when they are alone."
"Uh-huh," I replied, questioning her still. "This doesn't have anything to do with you wanting to go on a Caribbean cruise with your friends after the school year wraps, does it?"
"What? How did you know that," she laughed and absent-mindedly played with her hair.
"My friend Derek said his sister Amy asked their parents over dinner last night."
Realizing the gig was up, she changed her tone. "Please! You have to help. I think it would help relieve a lot of stress. And people make better decisions when they are happy. It's win-win."
"For you two, perhaps. Why am I involved in this discussion?"
"Don't you want mom to be happy?"
"Sure, as much as anyone." Then after a moment, "Look, I really don't know anyone in her age group. Nobody I would think is a good candidate to set up on a date anyway. And that says nothing of getting laid. Can't you get her a new vibrator or something?" I asked, somewhat serious.
"Not the same. That only works so long. At some point, you need the real thing, you know."
"I'm sure I don't want to know."
"The thing is, I think she needs a younger guy. It doesn't need to be a long-term thing. Just some personal attention, to help her feel good about herself. And to give her an orgasm or two."
"You're not asking much," I said. "The guys I know are all our age. If anything, they are looking to hook up with college girls." I paused, then added, "Guys typically want someone younger than them, not older. Or older to them means just a couple years older."
"I can't believe that there isn't one amongst them that wouldn't like to sleep with a beautiful, athletic older woman with no strings attached." She was right, our mom was attractive and slender in an athletic way, too. Her breasts were Ds but the looked bigger because of her petite frame.
"And how do you know there are no strings?"
"I mean, she isn't going to be looking for marriage or to get pregnant, right?"
"Ugh," I shook my head. "I can't believe I'm listening to this." I leaned forward to get up.
"Wait," She put her hand out, blocking me and prompting me to sit back down on the bed, leaning up against the headboard. "All you need to do is ask them."
"That simple? Ask my college buddies which one would like to fuck our mom... Are you kidding?"
"No, that's what she needs." She was serious. "Don't you guys talk about women?"
"Generally, our moms don't come up in conversation. That would be crossing the line. Look, I don't like the idea of any of them having their way with mom."
"I guess I thought most guys have a friend whose mom they would like to fuck," she pondered. "Isn't that what a MILF is?"
"Sure. It's like this: sometimes we see a mom at Starbucks or the market, that we find attractive enough to have sex with," I replied. "But what you're asking is that the son to get involved and set that up."
"All I'm asking for is to help mom get her groove on. Get a man back in her life. Who can say if it will result in a relationship or just a casual hookup."
"Well," I stammered. I really preferred to extract myself from this.
"And she needs to get it this weekend."
"Wait, what?"
"OK so you were right. The group is buying tickets Monday. I
can't
be left out," she stressed the last part.
"Now you're really asking a lot." I turned and grabbed my coke from the desk near my bed.
"What about Derek?" She prodded on, un-deterred.
"He has a girlfriend."
"So?"