I've had it! That fuckin' idiot down there, drinking all damn day, bringing prostitutes into my house! My house! Fuck it all!
"Jeff!" He won't reply to my yelling down the stairs because he's either jacking off or on his fucking playstation or both. I glance out the window onto the mud room, and she's still standing there in her too-tight jeans and her practically see-through white linen top. She's pretty, but she has the face of a skank. And she looks like she's been smoking something. I don't wanna send her straight away, because, I mean, my idiot fuckin' kid called her here. He at least owes her uber money to get back. "JEFF!"
"What?" His tone, as usual, is insolent and aggravated and I wanna punch him in his stupid face. I love him, but my God what a fuckin' idiot I've raised.
"There's someone here for you." I glance at her and she's standing there playing with her white acrylic nails. There's probably some design on the nails -- I know I'd have something on them, but I can't see it from here.
I hear him come to the bottom of the wooden stairs. "Send 'er down," he says.
I roll my eyes. "Come get 'er." He keeps the lights out or real dim all the damn time. I can see the flicker of something on a TV screen or his computer monitor or whatever.
He groans. "I'm not dressed, mom."
If I had a dollar for every time this fuckin' kid made me roll my eyes, I'd have so damn much money. Maybe I wouldn't be a millionaire, but I'd be able to afford a better house than this. I close the door to the basement, turn and walk through the kitchen to the mud room, grabbing my pocket book as I make it to the storm door separating the mud room from the kitchen. "Honey, he's not feelin' well right now. Can I --" I open my pocket book, looking for my wallet. Try to scrape together a few dollars. "I got twenty-six buck? Can you --"
She shifts her weight back and forth, looks up at me. She's a tiny little thing. I'm not tall, and she's shorter than me. She is skinny, though. Kinda pretty, not beautiful. "Venmo," she says with a city accent. "Or PayPal?" I look at her blankly.
"I don't got either o' those." I'm not a luddite, but I don't trust the internet with money, either. I mean, really. They're workin' to blow up the whole society. Why wouldn't they steal money from us. "I'm sorry. All I got is cash."
She sighs at me. Rolls her eyes. "Listen, he owes me seventy-five dollars plus travel."
I grin at her, remembering that Tom Cruise movie from when I was a kid, the one where he dances in his tighty-whiteys and shades. "I don't got seventy-five bucks, darlin'." She nods at me. "I was headin' out, though. Can I give you a lift?"
She shrugs. "Just as soon do what I'm here for?"
I grin at her. "Not with that boy," I say. "He's an idiot."
"Ain't they all?" She laughs.
Nodding, I say, "Yep. Where ya headed, honey?" She relaxes a little as I enter the mud room, slide into my flats, and head for the door.
She shrugs. "I dunno. I was just gonna be here till like..." she glances at her phone. "I dunno."
I nod her away from the kitchen door, holding the doorway open to the driveway. "I gotta get to work at Walmart. You can probably find a Uber there, yeah?" She shrugs and follows my lead, steps outside.
"You hiring?" She asks.
As I open the door to my ten year-old Toyota Corolla for her, I watch her. She seems young. Younger than my idiot kid. "I dunno, honey," I say, "I'll ask my manager when I get there." I don't tell her the truth, though. That I'm the manager, and I'm not hiring a prostitute to work for me.
***
"Mom?" That bitch! "MOM?!" She knows I hate to come up the stairs. What the absolute fuck is her deal, anyway? Since when have I had to schlep up the stairs to get my food or my mail or my shipments or to receive my friends or anything like that. What the hell is her problem?
I'd suggest she was on the rag, but she's menopausal, and I think that means that's over. I don't fuckin' know, though. What an asshole.
I think about going upstairs and dancing my way through some dumb apology and then taking my girl down here, fuck 'er for like an hour, and get back to gaming. I think about it. That's not what I do. I turn right back around, since she closed the door, and throw myself back on my bed. I look at the tv screen with the porn and watch for a bit. I'm out of the mood, now, though. Nothing like a shout down from mom to kill the mood. Fuckin' bitch.
It's been like, I don't know, a year, since I had some strange. While I'm not really into the whole going to prostitutes thing, I don't wanna go meet people. And the internet solves so many problems like that. So many. All of them, really. Like, when I'm done watching girls get used, and I need to use one, I can just order her up. So, I did.
This girl looked like she coulda been fun, from her profile on letsdoit.com. Oh, well. Maybe she'll come down. I dunno. Don't really care, but I'm horny as a ten-puckered owl (shoutout to Christian Slater in "Pump Up the Volume."), and I'm gonna have to rub it out. Again.
I watch the porn I've put on. Something about a girl hanging out at home alone. Some dude busts into her house, she sluts it up with him because, duh, she's a whore. He gets into it. She isn't satisfied, he calls some other dudes, and they're gang banging away on this cute little ho.
The way they treat her, when it's all o' these dudes. Shit, I'd like to fuck a girl like that. Just treat her like a piece of meat. Without thought or permission, they just sling her around, fill her up. Slap her. Like, a lot. One guy slaps her face repeatedly, another dude is slapping her little round titties. Man. I wanna treat someone like that. Just to see what it feels like. To have that kinda control. Must feel awesome.
I come while they're jamming their oversized dicks into all of her holes, and it's sorta weird, the way she screams when they're fucking her ass and pussy simultaneously. I dunno. I mean, it's interesting, but kinda off-putting. I wanna hear her moan, not scream. I'm thinking about that when my eyelids fall closed.