Chapter 17 -- Intimacy Retreat
I pulled Edie up in front of the class with me to start the opening session of our nude retreat on relationships and intimacy. Alice had just been with us and given an introduction for both of us that was almost embarrassing it was so full of praise about our backgrounds. Alice also mentioned that we were active in a large polyamorous group of friends that loved each other including physically. She outlined the class, passed out class notebooks, and, at my request, had skipped mentioning anything about the nudity of the attendees.
Twenty-two people -- eleven couples -- sat at a 'U'-shaped table. Many were still blushing and body language suggested they didn't like their nudity, but were resigned to it in order to properly attend the retreat. I noted they were not a bad-looking bunch of people. Many were slightly overweight, but not severely so that I'd jump to the obese label. A few might have registered at chunky.
I turned to Edie, "Are you embarrassed about being naked in front of everyone?"
Edie smiled and shook her head. She'd expected the question. "No. I've always been somewhat of an exhibitionist. As Alice mentioned, I was a fashion model, did erotic photography modeling, and, I confess to you all, even did a few adult films when I was much younger and then got talked into doing one more recently with some of our friends. When I ran part of the modeling agency that Alice mentioned in my introduction, I always looked for exhibitionist streaks in the women that we represented; those were the girls that would succeed in the modeling field. You have to care what you look like, but it doesn't matter what style of dress or undress you're in."
I asked, "A few weeks ago you were sad after studying yourself in a mirror; could you explain?"
Edie grimaced. "I'm almost sixty. That day I was finding every little thing wrong with me. I'd had a perfect shape, magnificent breasts, flawless skin, and face that graced the cover of
Vogue, Elle,
and other fashion magazines ... until recently. My mirror exam revealed brittle hair that's getting uncontrollable, wrinkles forming everywhere on my face and body, cellulite galore in all the wrong places including places that show, and, last but not least a saggy butt and droopy breasts with wrinkly nipples."
Edie turned and wiggled her back-end at the class, and then hefted her breasts with both hands at everyone as though she were aiming them at the men and shook them. The class mostly laughed, which was the reaction she obviously sought.
"So, what do you feel standing in front of everyone naked today?"
Edie shrugged, "They have to take me as I am ... as I am becoming. I know I could do Botox and fight the cellulite. My whole body would need Botox. I could spend tens of thousands on plastic surgery, but I've decided not to do any of that. You love me as I am and so do all our friends, so why not ride that wave rather than torture myself about my lost youth. I'm holding off some of that with vigorous exercise, but I won't have others do nasty surgical things to me otherwise."
I turned to the class and pointed at my own developing male pooch. "Me, too." I nodded at Edie and she went and sat down with Carl and Alice at the faculty table in the back of the room. "So, you have one woman's view about nudity in this group. If you are self-conscious about your body, you have a viewpoint that fundamentally states 'Get over it and move on. You can't change it, so live with it.
"None of you laughed or ridiculed each other's nakedness or a body feature, so you can rule that out as a concern. You've all seen each other now and no one was critical, although I did see a few hard-ons, including my own. You don't need to be sexy to survive group nudity."
I turned to one woman whose tent card read Sara, "You're not blushing, may I ask why?"
Sara smiled, "I've been a nudist on and off for my whole life. My parents liked to go to a colony in the summers. I got past the socially-conditioned response a long time ago if I even ever had it. Even as a teenage girl I liked to be naked providing others around me were unclothed. People are taught to not expose themselves or else they're embarrassed; we can unlearn that response."
"Do you equate nudity with sex?" I dropped the blunt question on the group, but aimed it at Sara.
She chuckled, "Sometimes. I love sex and I love nudity. The two together are a lot of fun."
"What about love in that mix?" Sara was playing right into my hand.
Sara didn't quite understand. She tilted her head to one side. "You mean nudity, sex, and love together? What a fabulous combination. I'd never want to have anything but that in my life. I guess I'd have to tear myself away to eat and work once in a while." She grinned broadly.
I turned to a middle-age man whose name was Franklin. "Franklin, you've been blushing since I briefly met you at lunch; could you explain?"
He nodded, "The only time I've been naked before this retreat has been to take a shower -- alone in my bathroom. I feel unprotected even though I know no one is going to assault my genitals. I've already gotten aroused a couple of times, too; and I'm not be able to control my responses, so ladies please forgive my response to your beauty. I've been avoiding looking at my wife and the other women; all of them are sexy in my book and I respond accordingly. I do associate nudity with sex."
The blushing woman next to Franklin volunteered, "I feel vulnerable in many ways -- not just physically and but also emotionally.
I had everyone stand back away from the table and their chair. I told them, "Pair up with a member of the opposite sex other than your spouse or partner." They reluctantly did. "Now, I want you to comment favorably on various aspects of their body, particularly their sexual parts. You should be explicit and detailed. You may even be a little crude. If what someone tells you upsets you, note why and forgive them; blame me. Take two minutes -- one minute for each of you."