I had just come home from a date on a rainy Friday night. It's never a good sign when you're home in time for the late news. In the year and change since Carla and I broke up, I only had one second date.
My phone rang. The caller ID said only that it was a cell phone, but I knew it belonged to my sister Kirsten. "Hello?"
Kirsten was in tears. "Colin, it's me," she said. I couldn't understand most of what came after. I could work out, "benefits," "he" and the last part, "Can I come over tonight?"
The late news is early for a date, but it's late for a visitor in person. "Do you need to stay here?"
"Could I?"
"Any time. You know that."
"Thanks, Colin. I'm on Kingshighway now."
Seven years ago, Kirsten and I were both living at home while we went to college. Kirsten was going to community college to save money, and I went to the state university on the other side of town. We had been teasing each other sexually for a while. One weekend when we were home by ourselves, it boiled over and we started fucking. At first we told ourselves we were just "siblings with benefits," but we couldn't fool ourselves for long. We were in love. It lasted close to a year before Karen started having anxiety attacks, and we figured it was from all the close calls of nearly getting caught in our incestuous love affair. I'm not talking about getting pregnant, because she was on the Pill the whole time. I'm talking about being seen, or even just the sort of behaviors that tell you when two people are romantically involved. One of those occasions was when we kissed under the mistletoe just before Mom and Dad came home from Christmas shopping. I ended that part of the relationship because I couldn't stand to see her suffer like that. Coincidentally, I moved into an apartment near campus the next fall, which made it easier, at least on my part.
I guess it made it easier for Kirsten too. Three years ago, we welcomed my new brother-in-law, Ron. He's a nice guy, but he's ten years older than Kirsten. He got along great with our niece and nephews, so Kirsten figured he'd be a good dad. He even helped us uphold Slovakia's honor in a family bowling tournament during the last Olympiad. Apart from the disagreements that I'm told most couples have, there had never been any sign of him not being good to her.
Twenty minutes later, Kirsten was at my door, drenched and carrying an overnight bag. "What's wrong?" I asked.
I took her coat, and she put her overnight bag in front of the couch. "That bastard! He lied to me."
"What'd he lie about?"
"He knew I wanted kids, and he married me anyway."
"Whoa, back up."
"He kept saying we should wait till we're better off financially before we have a baby. First we were supposed to get better paying jobs, then a better health plan and a house. We went with the health care package from my job because it had better maternity coverage, even though we could have gotten a better deal from his company without it."
"You're still in your apartment, aren't you?" I thought I'd missed a development in her life somehow.
"Yeah, but we've been house-hunting."
"So, what happened?"
Kirsten collected herself enough to explain. "There was a thing in the mail today from the insurance company, one of the statements that begins with, 'This is not a bill,' and it lists recent things they've paid for. Besides my birth control pills, there was a doctor's name I didn't recognize and an abbreviation that could have been an airport code for all I knew. So I did a web search. It's the code for semen testing, and the doctor advertises that he does vasectomies." She started crying again. "That's the testing they do after a vasectomy."
"That son of a bitch," I said. I put my arms out, and she gratefully let me hug her. Now my shirt was wet, but all I cared about was hearing Kirsten's story.
"I should have just let you get me-"
"No. No, you shouldn't have. We weren't even 21 yet, and we were both in college." I paused for a moment. "You know, they also do it beforehand just to have a base level reading. In fact ... is there any history of infertility in his family?"
"You were at our wedding. You were
in
our wedding. He's got four sisters, and his dad's considered the lightweight in their family. Why?"
"I'm trying to think of a satisfactory explanation. He could have been testing to see if his count was normal in case you were ready to start trying. Not likely, unless he was hiding something else, but possible. Have you confronted him?"
"He's out of town on business. I tried to call him, but apparently they have lousy reception where he's staying."
"What do you want to do?"
"I'll tell you the first thing I'm doing. I'm going off the Pill!"
I chuckled briefly. "There was a time when I would have been over the moon and terrified at the same time to hear you say that. What else do you want to do?"
Lightning struck, and she said, "I wanna stay here with you. Sorry I got your polo shirt wet."
"You got it, Sweetie," I told her. I'd worn the shirt on my date, so I was eager to take it off anyway.
Kirsten's overnight bag had a large "K" patch on the side. I started to carry it to my room, but she stopped me. "No, I'll stay on the couch. It opens up, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," I told her. We opened it up. Kirsten went into the bathroom. She came out wearing a Glasgow Brothers T-shirt. I remembered one morning she was ordering tickets to their concert, and she was in the virtual waiting room for so long that I had time to eat her out. The shirt was a little frayed now, but it was in better condition than Jeremy Glasgow, who had recently had an ugly break-up with a former Disney actress/singer.
I stripped down to my underwear and went to bed. I went to sleep and dreamed about the camping trip we arranged that summer just so we could fuck without anyone knowing we were related. In my dream, we were walking around the lake hand in hand, just as we had in real life. Kirsten had just taken her shirt off so I could see those little tits that I loved so much, and then I woke up. Now, every other time in my life that I've woken up from something like that in a dream, it was a disappointment. This time, though, I woke up because something was on my dick. It felt like a hand, but I knew it wasn't my own. I remembered that I'd just been on a date, and in my addled state, I thought it must have gone better than I thought. Then I remembered watching the news and-Holy crap. Kirsten was wearing a perfume that I used to like. She definitely didn't smell like this when I hugged her. "Don't do this, Kirsten," I told her. "You don't know the whole story yet."
She pulled the elastic down so she could grasp my cock directly. "I miss this," she said.
"You might be able to work this out," I reminded her.
"I don't see you moving away," Kirsten said. She moved over me, and I felt her warm tongue on my cock head.
"Kirsten, if you do this, you'll cross a line that you can't-um-" I was trying not to mix my metaphors. "There's no turning back."
"You mean incest? You're about seven years late to worry about that." She licked my shaft.
"I mean adultery."
"What makes you think I haven't?" She pulled my underwear down a little and sucked each of my balls into her mouth.
"Because one of us cares about Ron," I said, remembering a line from
M*A*S*H
