My or should I say our lives started changing the day my husbands firm was bought up, falling orders and sales were getting worse and they were taken over by a predatory buy out, it was either that or go under, it still meant the same for lots of employees including John my husband.
He along with many others got laid off due to reorganisation, downsizing, and restructuring. And on top of that I had been blown out a month before the axe fell on him. So we went from being fairly well off affluent people, cars etc, to drawing dole money and benefits, that no where near covered our debts and out goings.
Things went even further downhill if that was possible, John started drinking and feeling sorry for himself, he would go to the pub and come home roaring drunk, I didn't mind at first but it started to get boring, he wasn't funny any more. I was out and about job hunting, but he didn't get off his lazy backside, all he did was go to the job centre, sign on, sit through those stupid interviews then go to the pub again, what little money he had was spent on drink.
I tried to keep our heads above water, but after 6 months a letter from the building society brought the house down, literally, no pun intended, we had to sell and sell quick, and cheaper than what it was worth, we were left with a debt of 2000, on top of our other debts. I had got a part time job cleaning and peeling vegetables for school dinners, the pay wasn't good but it was income. We were being pestered by debt collectors, threatened with bailiffs and we were definitely heading for a court appearance, thankfully his dad who is a widower and a lovely man offered us a home with him, and he paid off a lot of our debt which came to about 7000, and we were saved.
So we had a roof over our heads and we, or I was eternally grateful it was an annexe of sorts attached to his home, it had a sitting room, a bathroom, kitchen and bedroom, and we didn't have to pay any utilities. I regarded ourselves to be extremely fortunate to be taken in by him.
But that didn't stop John from drinking, I was beginning to see the real person I had married, I sadly came to realise that he was a weak man, not physically, and he was strikingly good looking, but he was weak inside where it matters. His strength of character in the face of adversity was almost none existent. I was so unhappy with him, and disappointed too that he had failed not only me, but himself as well. I had tried my hardest to support him, cajole him into picking himself up and starting again, but I soon found out I was talking to a wall.
His dad did his best too and he failed miserably, John was so into his own world of sorrow for himself he just would not listen to reason, his dad even threatened to throw him out, but he didn't care, he just went his own sweet way. If his dad didn't fill the larder we would have been reduced to scraps from here and there, I was so grateful, and I think the reason he put up with us was because he could see I was trying to rebuild, difficult though it was.
I know his dad and John's mother had gone through traumatic times in much the same way and had come out the other side and made good, very good. But he seemed to realise too that John wasn't cast in the same mould that he had been. They looked similar in the physical sense, both tall, both good looking, but there it seems the real similarity had ended
Our sex life was none existent now, he wasn't able to, and I didn't want to. Then the s+++ started hitting the fan, one day he came home s+++ faced and in a bad mood, I asked him what was wrong but he refused to tell me, we had a great big row, then he told me had played cards and lost what little money he had. I railed at him, called him a stupid fool, and worse, I called him a fucking loser, that really got his back up and he rushed at me, he got me against the wall, elbow across my throat and fist raised, I was terrified.
Somehow he didn't hit me, if I had been asked to bet on whether he would or wouldn't, I would have bet everything I possessed on it. He took my money from my bag and left, he was even worse when he got home, he could hardly stand, talk about drunk! He went straight to bed with help from me, and I knew it was time for the serious talk we were heading for.
The following morning when he finally got out of bed, I had just come in from my little job and I threw my bag at him, he had to sign on soon so I didn't have much time. But he just threw it back at me and stormed out, I knew when he came back he would be drunk again, he was. But this time there was lipstick on his mouth, and a smell of cheap perfume.
I was stunned to say the least, how could he go with another woman, she must be someone from the pub; I knew it was a dowdy place I had been to see it. So I just assumed she was a drinker there too. I looked at myself in the mirror, how could he choose some one else over me, I know I'm attractive, even better than that, 5ft 4" tall, long fair hair, good body, and I've always felt like a sexy woman of 22, until our world crashed around us. And I've always been there for him until all this. My self esteem took a real knock. How stupid could my husband be? He was 22 just like me and he was behaving like a damn fool.
'How dare you come home with lipstick on you and smelling of cheap perfume you rotten bastard?' I shouted at him.
'Don't you swear at me, I'm your husband, show me some respect, or else!' He shouted back, I knew his dad would be able to hear the exchange, and he wasn't daft either, he knew what John was doing and didn't have a lot of patience with him now, but he was his son so he tried not to interfere.
'Show you some respect?' I hollered at him, 'you don't deserve any you fucking tosser.'
John rounded on me, I knew I was in for it now, it was written all over his face, pure hatred. He threw me to the floor, he was in such a rage, he dived on me and was kneeling on me, I thought he was going to kill me, I got a hard slap on my face, then on the side of my head, I screamed out in fear.
I heard in between my cries the door crashing open, he dad raced in and literally threw him off me.
'What the bloody hell do you think you are you doing you stupid drunken idiot!' He bawled at him lying on the floor and trying to get up.
'It's her dad,' he blustered, 'she's taking the piss out of me, and I am not having that,' he muttered. If he thought his dad was going to defend him, he was going to be sorely disappointed.
'Taking the piss out of you, now I wonder why,' his dad bellowed, 'do you know I just can't imagine, do you think it's because she is worried or because you are the fucking tosser I just heard Kirstin call you!'
It dawned on him straight away that his bluff had been called. 'But dad, all this isn't my fault, I am trying here.' He bleated. 'There's only one person who's trying here John, and we all know it's not you don't we? He said quietly.
'You had better get to bed John, and get yourself sorted out, because one day,' and he looked at me, 'Kristen isn't going to be here any more, she'll have gone and left you, okay?' I smiled my gratitude to him, he put his hand on my shoulder, and said, 'let me know if you have any more problems Kristen,' he told me.
'I, I, I, I will dad, thank you,' I stammered, still not over the shock of being slapped the way I had, and he left.