I stumbled into the kitchen and flicked on the light. It was still dark outside, but I could see the first pinkish streaks of sunlight on the horizon. I turned the coffee on. I knew there was no way I could make it through the day on force of will alone. Caffeine would be needed at this hour of the morning. Mentally, I went over the to-do list for the day.
Today was the day I took Mary to school. A part of me was excited that she was going to get this chance to try life out on her own. But a larger part of me was rather sad. I was sending my daughter away. She was officially a grown woman now and I couldn't help but feel like I was sending her out among the wolves. Mary was delicate and loving. The very things I thought made her so unique and wonderful were the things that might possibly destroy her in the real world.
My thoughts returned to Christine. My wife was heavily responsible for Mary's quiet acceptance of life around her. Her over-protectiveness had kept Mary ignorant of the aggressive nature of the rest of the world. In one part I appreciated Christine's parenting. True kindness like Mary's was rare in today's world. But I had seen first hand the terror Mary had when faced with the realization that she was going to have to leave home. At 19, she should have been beyond that. I was angry at Christine for not preparing her for that reality better.
But to be completely honest, I was angrier at myself for not taking a bigger part in Mary's upbringing. I should have interjected my opinion more. Christine probably would have appreciated it. I should have acted like I cared about more than work and my hobbies. I'm sure that was one of the many reasons why Christine left me. But if she honestly thought I was so uninvolved with my daughter, why in the hell did she leave Mary behind with me?
The coffee maker beeped to let me know it had finished brewing its heavenly nectar. I made a cup for both Mary and myself, adding lots of cream and sugar to Mary's. She said she didn't understand how anyone could drink coffee black. "Liquid mud" was what she called what I drank.
I walked into the mostly dark bedroom, carrying both cups. I set them on the dresser and checked to see if Mary was awake. There was enough morning light coming in from the windows to see Mary's slim legs tangled in the white comforter. She was asleep on her stomach; her arms pillowed underneath her head. My eyes traveled down her smooth back, her skin golden in the growing light as I watched the gentle rise and fall of her breath. Lightly I brushed my fingers down the gentle sweep of her hips and palmed the flesh of her pert little ass.
I slipped carefully into bed beside her and danced the lightest of kisses on her left ass cheek. She still smelled faintly of the sex as we'd had the night before. Remembering brought my cock quickly to attention. Sex with Mary was new and exciting every time we fucked. Even if it was nothing more than a tired spoon fuck before we slept, it felt new. Something about her and her pussy drew me in, in ways no other woman had. I don't know whether it was the fact that it was my daughter or if it was the unbridled lust she came at me with. But whatever it was, it was enough to make me hard and ready whenever she wanted me to be.
I reached my fingers down and felt the small cleft between her thighs. She was damp, her pale curls still wet from last night's activities. I slid my finger between her folds, seeking out the seat of her pleasure. Gently, I massaged her clit, bending down to kiss the white globes of her ass. Mary stirred beneath me.
"Daddy?" she asked groggily.
"Yes, Angel?" I removed my hands and crawled up beside her in bed, my face close to hers. I brushed the hair back from her green eyes and smiled at her.
"Is it time to get up already?"
"Nearly so, baby."
"Oh." Such a small word, but I could see everything she wasn't saying in her eyes.
"Still scared?" I asked.
Mary sighed heavily. "Yeah. But now instead of being afraid to go, now I'm afraid that I'm going to go and just fail."
"Fail? Your classes?"
Mary rolled over in frustration. "Oh, just everything. I'm afraid I'm going to fail my classes. I'm afraid that I'm going to fail at making friends. I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle being away from you and that I'll fail at being an adult."
"Angel, I don't think you really have anything to worry about. You really are a lot stronger than you think. You'll do fine."
Mary nodded at me, but I could tell she was thinking about something else. I was quiet, allowing her to decide if she wanted to voice what she was thinking.
"I kind of wish Mom was here. You know, to see me off and stuff..." Her voice trailed away.
"You do?" I asked.
"Mm-hmm." She looked over at me. "Are you mad?"
I was a little mad. Christine had left Mary behind without even a good-bye. Nor had she contacted her at all in the months since she'd been gone. However I'd hurt Christine with my neglect, Mary didn't deserve that. But if Mary harbored no ill will, I really couldn't be angry for her. That was just unfair.
"No baby. Your mom has been such a big part of your life. She was there for you more than I ever was. I'm sure it feels wrong that she's not with you for this big event."
"That's exactly it, Daddy. Going away to college is so important and it's something she really wanted for me that it feels like I'm betraying her by not waiting for her to come back." She sniffled a little. She was crying.
"Oh honey, you've got to know that your mother wouldn't want you to wait on this. Yes, she should be here, but I know that she'd want you to go. She wouldn't want you to put this on hold while she's off doing whatever. In fact, I think she'd be more disappointed in you if you didn't go."
"Daddy, do you think so?" Mary rolled over to look into my eyes.
I was able to answer honestly this time. "I do."
