After a pretty ugly break-up with my fiancee, I moved back home. I hadn't lived with my parents for over three years, and I felt as if I was disappointing them by returning. They were always very supportive and said they were happy to have me back. I had a hard time believing it, but I really had nowhere else to go.
At first everything was fine. I never really felt much like pursuing a social life. I enjoyed going places with them, or even just sitting home and renting movies. After the first two months went by however, I missed going out with my friends and partying. I started going clubbing and going out on dates. Sometimes not returning until very early the next morning, if at all. Several times I was coming in as they were getting ready to leave for church on Sunday morning. Each time, I was greeted with less than happy faces from both of them. My mother said she understood that I was trying to have fun, but that I needed to be more considerate of their feelings. She said they would worry about me all night, waiting for me to come in. My father on the other hand, said nothing. He would never even make eye contact with me. I would always apologize to both of them. My mother would say something about it not being proper for me to be out all night. Daddy would usually just walk right by me and act like I didn't exist.
Things went on like this for a few weeks. The one time my father finally spoke, he blew up at me.
"Jesus Christ Jennifer! Where the hell have you been this time?" he screamed.
"I went out , I had a little too much to drink to drive home. I stayed at a friend's place until I felt okay to drive Dad. I'm sorry."
"Well, the last I knew, you were going out on a date. That was at 8 O'clock... last night. Do you know what time it is now?"
"Yes Dad. Its 10:30."
"Its 10:30 in the morning on Sunday! This is the last time Jennifer. You're going to have to find some other place to live if you want to lead this kind of life style."
"Lou," my mother chimed in, "Don't get so angry. She's a grown woman. She can go out to bars if she wants to."
"I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with her not returning home until the next day. I won't stand for it. I can't sleep, wondering where she is, and if she's safe or not."
"She doesn't have any other place to go, and you know it!" my mother was raising her voice at my father for the first time in years.
He was apparently as shocked as I was. He stared at her, then mumbled something about waiting in the car for her. He stormed past me, eyeballing me the whole way.
"Daddy, I'm sorry!" I said, begging for his forgiveness. He just slammed the door behind him as he left.
"Jennifer, this has got to stop. I'm not any more happy with you than your father is right now. I just wouldn't throw you out in the street either. You had better think things through. Do you want to party, or do you want to live here? You can't have it both ways. You're killing your father, and that's killing me."
"Mom, I am just trying to have a little fun. You know I haven't done much since Rick and I broke up."
The mere mention of my ex-fiancee's name brought a fire to my mother's eyes. "Well, that doesn't mean you have to stay out all night, especially after a date. I'm sure you can figure out what your father thinks you're doing."
Until that moment, I hadn't even thought about it. What did he think? I was sexually active, but I wasn't sleeping around with every guy I met either. "Mom. if you mean he thinks I'm out screwing every guy I meet, you can tell him I haven't had sex since I was still living with Rick."
"I'm not telling him anything of the sort. He won't listen to me. I don't suggest you bring up the topic either. You'll always be his little girl. The thought of you having sex probably makes him sick."
"But Mom, I'm not a little girl! I'm twenty-four years old!"
"You know what I mean Jennifer. All I can say is, you have to think about our feelings too."
Our conversation was interrupted by my father honking the horn to hurry my mother up.
"I have to go now, before he gets any angrier. Go take a shower and clean your room." With that she put on her coat and walked out the door.
I heeded my mother's warnings and didn't go out for a few weeks. I wasn't until my office Christmas party three weeks later that I did anything social at all. It was nice to get out, have a drink and a few laughs. I was about 9 O'clock when my cell phone rang.
"Jenny, its me," my mother's voice was cracking. "I have to go visit Grandpa, he's back in the hospital." She was referring to her father, my Grandfather, who's health had been slipping for several months. We all knew it was only a matter of time for him, and that each trip to the hospital could be his last.
"Oh no!" I cried. "Okay, I'll be right home, do you want me to drive you?" I could feel myself slurring my speech a little.
"No Jenny, I can do it. And from the sounds of things, you don't need to be driving much at all, let alone an hour and a half to Albany. No, you enjoy your party. You have been good lately. Enjoy yourself. Just don't be driving drunk, and don't be home too late."
"Okay Mom. Be careful. And don't worry, I already stopped drinking. I'll be home soon. I love you Mom."
"I love you to Jenny. You be careful too. The roads are going to get messy later."
"I know. I'll be home soon. Give my love to everyone. I'll pray for Grandpa."
"Bye Jenny."
I didn't feel much like partying then, I was worried about my mother driving in the horrible upstate New York winter road conditions. I wondered why my father wasn't going with her, then I recalled, he was out shopping for her Christmas gifts. She had no way of getting in touch with him, because she had their phone with her.
I left the party about forty-five minutes later. The roads were very slick, so I was taking it slow. About half way home, the snow was coming down so hard I couldn't see two feet in front of the car. I slowed down even more. I was barely doing 15 miles an hour when I felt my car slide towards the ditch on the side of the road. I did all I could to avoid going off too quickly, but I ended up nose first in a snow bank.
I wasn't injured, just a little shaken. I picked my phone and tried to call my father. The phone rang and rang. He must have been still trying to get home himself. I waited for the answering machine to pick up, but it never did. My mother must have forgotten to turn it on before she left. I decided then to call for a tow truck. The man who took the call said I would have to wait over an hour for someone to make it out to where I was. After cursing at him, I realized how busy and stressed the drivers must be at times like those. I sat in my car and waited.
