He had never played poorer, not in junior high, not in high school, not in college. One game into the football season found Jeff in an unaccustomed position,
average
. That was the headline of the local paper:
Average
Performance by Kramer Results in Choteau Loss
. Saturday's loss marked the end of the school's three year winning streak; for the first time Jeff's golden boy status was tarnished.
"I didn't see you in the bleachers," Jeff said. Dawn didn't reply. She shifted as much as the Thunderbird's seatbelt would allow. Turning towards the passenger window, she watched the passing farmlands. "Were you sitting with friends? Dawn?..."
Idiot! Can't you tell when I'm ignoring you
? She glanced at him for just a moment. Ugly yellow bruises mottled the tan skin of his arms. A fat, cloth band-aid covered his lanky forearm, hiding a nasty gash that had demanded six stitches to close.
Jeff toed the gas pedal and gingerly shifted gears on his pride and joy, the painstakingly restored vintage yellow Thunderbird. The accumulated injuries caused him to move with the speed and grace of an octogenenarian. She wanted to feel sorry for him in spite of everything that happened but her brother was not an easy man to pity. Dawn folded her arms and leaned her cheek against the window.
The preceding weekend had altered her world. Uncomfortable memories now played on an endless loop. Thinking about what she had done with Liza and Jeff at the party was scary but the thought of what she and Jeff had done Saturday morning alone in the dark service tunnel beneath Jackson Field was absolutely horrifying.
Was it rape if he never forced her? Was it rape if she wanted it more than anything in the world? Probably not, she still had her cherry so it was debatable whether they'd had actual sex or not. Still, it was incest, something horribly out of character for Dawn, something illegal. Their relationship had never been the healthiest but now it was permanently altered, all because she couldn't say no.
Avoiding him over the weekend had been easy enough. She hadn't stayed for the game, of course. According to the newspaper accounts Jeff had taken a battering. The Northern Tech defense treated him like a human tent stake, driving his skinny body to the ground repeatedly. Injuries and exhaustion caused him to spend Sunday hidden in his room. He never even made it downstairs for dinner.
What was odd was that he had been sore after other games yet managed to behave socially. Maybe
he
was avoiding
her
. No, Dawn decided, that would have required Jeff Kramer to be a normal person with normal feelings; she definitely knew
that
was not the case.
Avoiding her brother forever would have been fine with Dawn had Monday and the realities of a new school week left her any choice. She glanced a green highway sign as the Thunderbird raced down the interstate. Choteau was the next exit, seven more excruciating miles. Melting into the anonymity of campus had never sounded so good; she longed to escape his glare, if only until evening.
Once they reached the campus she was out of the seat and out of the door before Jeff had even set the parking brake.
She struggled hard to concentrate during the first two classes but her brain wouldn't cooperate. Even English Lit failed to hold her attention. Professor James babbled on and on about this and that, text and subtext, while Dawn closed her eyes and remembered how soft and sensuous Liza's hands had felt when they explored her naked body. She remembered that Jeff had appreciated Liza's touch as well, his hard penis attested to that.
The sight of her brother's naked body was something she would never forget. True, Jeff was a few pounds short of perfection but he looked far better than anything she had ever seen. When he first touched her she thought her heart would stop.
Her heart
had
stopped in the tunnel; she was sure of it. When he touched her...when she touched him. One of Jeff's teammates, Willie Thompson, had walked in on them, unknowingly preserving her virginity. Hymen or not, Dawn decided it essentially was sex. With Jeff.
Tara and Jenny would have been so jealous if they ever found out. Her two best friends were among Jeff's staunchest admirers. They had lusted after his long, lean body ever since they were old enough to lust.
By the end of the day Dawn had relived the weekend again and again. The memories provided a constant heat on her skin, coaxing a gallon of sweat from her body. She retreated to the fountain in the center of the commons. It was a place she often went to toss pennies and make childish wishes. It was a good place to think; this time she hoped the peaceful sounds of flowing water would help her forget.
Spray settled on her clothes mixing with the sweat. She remembered the way Jeff had expertly touched her body. How his hot, wet tongue had probed her mouth. For a moment she wished she had responded differently. She wished she had been more welcoming to his tongue's explorations. She wished she had done some exploration of her own. Red heat spread across her body, tinting her freckled skin from chest to scalp.
Bending over the cement pool Dawn dipped two fingers in the icy cool water. She spread the moisture across her neck watching the bronze face of the school's founder glare at her. The dead, metallic eyes bore into her soul. For a moment she feared the statue at the center of the fountain spray might spring to life, Bertrand Choteau's mutton-chopped visage giving name to her sin.
Incest.
She reached in her pocket and extracted two shiny copper pennies. Two pennies meant two wishes. She tossed the first penny, wishing she'd spent the entire weekend at home. Aside from Jeff's arguments with Daddy, nothing bad ever happened at home.
She pinched the second penny between thumb and forefinger. The second wish was much more difficult to make. Since his first touch at the party, it had bounced around in her head. The final penny splashed through the surface of the shallow pool. As it fluttered to the mosaic tile bottom she gave silent voice to her desire.
"Dawn?" Her shoulders flinched the moment he called her name. Jeff shattered what little peace she had found beside the running water. Time to face reality; time to face the fact that the most beautiful man on the planet was also the most dangerous. "Look at me, Dawn. Please." She fumbled through her empty pocket for another coin, desperate to undo the second wish. "We need to talk." Without a hint of urgency or regret, his voice was every bit as cool and fluid as the pool of water. If he had a conscience it wasn't putting up much of a fight.
