Love Is No Sacrifice

She sat in the darkness waiting for the phone to ring. Images from the television brought the only light to the room. The lone person in the room sat in a chair that she "rescued" from the local Goodwill store. It was not fancy, not especially comfortable, but merely a place to sit. The Wizard of Oz played on the small television via an old VCR attached to it. There was no high definition, no DVD, and no cable stations to watch. The sound was turned down so that if a person listened very carefully, they could hear the scarecrow sing about if they only had a brain. She sat by the phone waiting for the nightly call. The phone was rotary. She often wondered if she had the last one in the whole town, or maybe even the whole world. There was no money for a cell phone contract. She only had one person who ever called her, and she was waiting for that call now.

The young man finished up his shift in the county morgue, and began the trek back to his dorm. Every night he worked from 6 pm to 10 pm. He was now immune to the sights, sounds, and smells of his work area. He now understood that you could not think of the bodies as people, but only as things to tag, bag, and store until the coroner was done with them. He learned a lot about anatomy, and even more about the oh so many ways people could die. It helped him in his anatomy and physiology classes, and most of the time the coroners were more than willing to teach. He had four hours of studying left before he could crawl into bed. Most of the guys on his floor would just be getting in from partying, but he never had the time nor the money to go out and do those things. He was focused on being a doctor. It was the ambition to become one that drove him and sustained him over the last four years. In one week, he would know if he gained acceptance into medical school. Try as he might, it was hard to suppress the nervousness that crept in to his mind at times like this. He just had to get in. For him, and the person who had sacrificed so much to get him to this point. He dug in his pocket for the calling card and began to dial.

She jumped when the phone rang. She thought she must have dozed, as the lion was wanted courage. She let the phone ring again and picked it up. "Hello?" she asked as if it would be anyone else at this hour.

"Hey mom," came the voice of her son on the other end of the line. The sound of her son's voice brought a smile to her face. She never got to hear it enough. She thought that after four years she would have gotten used to him not being around everyday, but that was not the case.

"Hi sweetheart," she said," Tell me about your day."

The young man talked about his classes, his projects, and what he had to eat. He never went into details about work, because he knew his mother would never understand nor care for what went on there. All she knew was that it was a job that helped him get better grades in school. He also had a hard time explaining how it was that he liked working in the morgue far better than he did the nursing home his first two years of school. At least in the morgue, no one threw up on you, crapped on you, or tried to hit you. "How was your day mom?" he asked.

"Oh fine," she answered. It was her usual answer, and one that she vowed would never change. She figured he did not want to hear about the seven days a week she worked or the 16 to 20 hours she put in. He didn't need to know that. He didn't need to hear that her legs hurt, her back hurt, and her heart hurt from the loneliness of having no one to come home to. Not that home was anything special. A one bedroom apartment in a not so nice part of town should never have been her home. Someday, she was going to find something better.

"Well mom our time is up," the young man said. He was careful to only use 15 minute segments of time on his calling card so that his mother would not have to buy so many. "I guess I better hit the books. I love you mom."

"I love you Eli," she replied. She tried to keep the emotion that goodbyes with him caused out of her voice. "Next week at this time you have some big news waiting for you the next day won't you?"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it," he said tersely. "What happens will happen I guess. I need to go."

"Ok baby. Study really hard ok?" she whispered into the phone. She heard the click and then the dial tone. She sat and listened to it hum in her ear as if she could somehow reconnect to her son. The hum switched to a beep that was annoying, and she gently replaced the handset. Her eyes focused on the television to see Dorothy held prisoner in the wicked witch's castle. "I know how you feel," she said to the young girl trapped with no way out.

She pushed up out of the chair, and made her way to her bathroom. She needed to shower before she went to clean at one of the downtown offices. She didn't mind the work there. No one to bother you or yell at you for not bringing their food or worse yet grabbing your ass because they thought they could. The waitress job was far more distasteful, but the tips were pretty good. She looked over at the tip jar, and saw it was almost full. She needed to hide it, but she had it out and counted it just this evening. At the library she had someone help her look up hotel rooms in her son's town. She planned on being there for him on his big day. Whether he got in or not, she needed to be there for him. All of the long shifts, longer days, and going without things have been leading up to that day, and she was not about to miss it. She had enough for bus fare, the hotel room, and to treat Eli to a really nice meal somewhere after he got the news.

She replaced the jar in its hiding place and stepped into the bathroom. Calling the space small would be kind. A toilet, small stained sink under a cracked mirror, and a shower stall were the entire make up of the bathroom. She pulled off her sweatshirt, jeans, and underclothes and looked in the mirror. At 40 she thought she was too young to be called old, and too old to be young. She just was. As she peered through the stains on the mirror, she saw the lines around her eyes, on her forehead, and around her mouth that weren't there not too long ago. Her hands ran down her breasts, and she noticed that they were no longer the firm large breasts of youth. They didn't exactly sag, but they would not be mistaken for a 20 year old woman's either. She was not heavy. She did not have money for fast food, and all of the hours of working burned off more calories than she usually took in. She would pack a cheese sandwich, and some store brand potato chips when she did her cleaning job. Water from the faucet was good enough to drink. When she did her waitress work, they were given a meal as part of the "benefit package". It dawned on her that she never really had a meal at home. There was no time for that.

She stepped into the shower and the water poured over her. She could not really call what came out of the shower head a true shower. It just came out at slightly more of a force than if someone had used a kinked garden hose. The water was lukewarm at best, and it helped reenergize her for her four hours of cleaning. She finished up with the shower, dressed in her office cleaning clothes, and set out to work for her child's future.

Eli hung up the phone and was filled with sadness. He knew what sacrifices his mother was making for him, and the things she was doing without just so he could go to school. He had more than once threatened to quit and get a job to help ease her burden, but she would never hear of it. So he dedicated himself to his studies, and learning those things that would get him into medical school. When others were on their laptop computers, he was at the resource lab using theirs. When others were off partying on some beach during spring break, he was working to earn some extra money. The morgue wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. It covered some of his books, and kept him in pens and paper as needed. He made his way to his dorm room, grabbed his book bag, and headed to the medical library to study. This next week was going to be the longest of his long life, and at the end of it his future would be determined. As he headed to the library a cold rain began to fall.

She kept busy with work, and even picked up some extra hours for a "cushion" for her trip to be with Eli. Sleep came hard if it came at all as her mind wandered about the outcome of the decision for her son's acceptance into medical school. She knew he was banking heavily on being a doctor. It was all he ever wanted to be, and all he had been working towards since high school. Three days before she would leave to be with him, she walked down to the bus station to reserve her ticket. She carefully counted out the money and she took the ticket in her trembling hand. She mad her way back to her apartment with her heart racing. The decision day could not come fast enough. She paced in her small living area, and decided she could start packing. Going to the closet, she pulled down and old suitcase that was coated in dust. She carefully wiped off the dust, and laid it on her single bed. Looking at her meager clothing collection she was unsure what she would wear to see him. With little to choose from she began making her selections.

Eli kept busy with work. He visited some with his classmates that he knew also had applied to med school. They were careful not to talk too much about the what if don't get in part of applying. No one wanted to perhaps curse the decision and no one wanted to deal with not getting in before it happened. He worked as much as they would let him at the morgue. He grew tired of watching the hands on the old alarm clock spin during the night as sleep avoided him. He worked hard to keep out the negative thoughts of not getting in, and he really wished his mom could be there with him when he found out. She had invested as much of herself into this whole process as he had. In or out, he decided that he would head home to thank his mother for all she had done. He knew that he could not have done it without her, and he would let her know that.

Decision day had arrived, and she was so nervous she could not eat. Awake all night she packed and repacked her suitcase a dozen times. Her bus left at six and would put her there at eight. While she didn't know what to do with her suitcase until she could get in her room, she would not worry about that. She knew where he would be. Waiting by a computer in the medical library is where he would find out if he made it or not. She had been there on the campus tour, and knew that was where he spent most of his time. With a final check of her apartment, she shut the door and headed for the bus stop.

The clock moves so slowly. All night it seemed like it hardly moved at all. The nerves were in high gear. He had been sick to his stomach for hours and dared not eat for fear of losing what he ate. His hands trembled, his palms sweaty, and he could feel his heart pound in his chest. He was not sure what time he would find out his fate, but decided that he would head to the medial library at eight. He would stay until he knew his fate, and figure out what to do from there. He dressed slowly as if it took great effort, and finally with one last sigh he headed to the library.

The bus pulled into the bus station, and with a final gasp of the air brakes the doors opened for the passengers to exit. She took her single bag and headed in the direction of the college. She knew the way from previous visits, and the distance was not that great so the walk would not be an issue. The bus was a little behind schedule so she would not get to the library as soon as she had hoped. She glanced at the restaurants as she walked by wondering which one Eli would want to eat in. He always liked pizza so maybe one of them had a good pizza. Soon she saw the building that housed the medical library and headed towards it. The anxiety built with each step, but so did the excitement of seeing her son. He was a good boy and made her proud.

Eli picked up a couple of magazines in the library and made his way to his favorite computer in the place. It was quiet, but easy to get to the books if he needed to look something up. He pulled up a chair, signed into his email account, and checked for messages. Nothing yet so he reached for a magazine to pass the time when he felt a hand touch his neck.

She left her suitcase with someone at the desk, and headed to the spot he showed her as his favorite. She saw him signing on to the computer and hesitated to see if there was any reaction to reading his email. She saw him lean back and then reach for a magazine so she moved forward and touched him. Eli jumped and then turned around quickly. "Mom," he shouted.

"Ssssshhhhhhh," she whispered. "You didn't think I would let you go it alone did you?"

"You didn't need to do this," he said. "You know I would have called you as soon as I found out."

"This is where I need to be honey," she said she hugged him tight. "This is a big day for you. I want to share it with you."

They hugged again and she pulled up a chair so she could sit by him. "We are going out on the town tonight my dear," she whispered to him. "I have been saving my money for this day. Anywhere you want to eat. It is my treat."

"Funny. I was going to come home and do that for you," Eli said with a smile.

The hours passed and no word on his status. Each passing hour filled them both with an unspoken feeling of despair. Surely if he had gotten in, it would have been sent by now. Then, just as he was about to get up to stretch he heard the sound of an email arriving in his inbox. He looked down and it was from the College of Medicine. It had arrived and the moment of truth had arrived. They looked at each other and Eli clicked to open it.

As she read the email, she could not believe what she was reading. The tears started before she was even halfway finished with it. She felt Eli shift in his chair, and heard the sniffles of a person crying too. All of this work and sacrifice for this moment, and the results were in black and white. Her son, the soon to be Dr. Eli Cale had been offered a position in the class of 2015 College of Medicine. All of the doing without, all the hours of work, and all the too little sleep had paid off. He stood and faced his mother, and they embraced as the tears fell.

She collected her small suitcase from the checkout desk, and they went out into the day. A misty rain fell from the gray sky, but neither of them felt it. It was if they were floating above the damp sidewalks. Her hotel was a few blocks away, and they headed towards it so she could check in. She held her suitcase in one hand, and her son's hand in the other. Each person that they passed she wanted to shout out that her son was going to be a doctor. It was hard for her to get her hands around the fact that her young man was actually going to be one.

Eli was vaguely aware of his surroundings. After so many years of working towards this day, it hit him that his work had just begun. While he never had much trouble with any classes, he knew that taking what he learned from books and applying it to a living being was going to be a challenge. He opened the door to the hotel for his mom, and stood back as she registered. Her heard her tell the poor desk man that her son was just accepted to medical school, and asked him where a good place to eat was. He handed her the room key card as he told her. She looked at the young man behind the desk and asked where her key for her room was. He explained that she was holding it. It hit her at that moment that it had been a long time since she had reason to stay in a hotel.

They made their way up to her room. After several attempts, she finally was able to get the door to open. They stepped into the darkened room. She could not believe how nice the room looked. It was almost as big as her tiny apartment. There was a couch and a huge king sized bed. She turned the light on in the bathroom, and saw it had a tub. She could not remember the last time she had been able to soak in a warm bath. "I have got to take a bath before we go out Eli," she said with a smile. "It has been so long, I can't even remember what it feels like."

"Why don't you do that while I go back to my dorm quick and change," Eli said. He leaned down, grabbed the extra room key and headed back to his dorm. As he made his way back he started making a list of all that he needed to do now that he was in school. He had to find a place to live, apply for loans, and start getting things he would need such as a stethoscope. He was back to his room in no time. He met some people he knew, but could not really call friends. He was congratulated on his acceptance by them. He knew they thought he was different. He never went out. Didn't drink or date. He merely studied all the time. He had gone through three roommates in three years because he wasn't "fun" enough. He quickly showered and headed back to his mother's hotel room

She turned on the tub and undressed. The water splashing into the tub was a pleasing sound to her. She undressed and looked again in the mirror. "Not much to look at, but it's all I have," she said to the reflection. She gingerly stepped into the steaming water. It needed a little adjusting to keep it from being to warm. She slowly sat down enjoying the warm water covering her. It felt wonderful. She leaned her head back taking in the soothing heat, and promptly fell asleep.

The mist had quit and the sun was peeking out. Eli was looking forward to a good meal with his mother. He knew she lived on cheese sandwiches and little sleep. Tonight they were going to enjoy a meal together. He gave a slight wave to the man behind the registration desk, and headed up to his mother's room. It only took him one try to gain access to the room. It was dark except for the light in the bathroom. He moved towards the bed, thinking she had fallen asleep after her early day. As he passed the bathroom, he saw her in the tub. She was not moving, and he quietly called her name. No response from the form in the tub. He quickly moved in to make sure she was ok. He saw that she was breathing. He reached out to touch her to wake her, but couldn't. He stared at the naked form in the tub. He had never seen any woman in a state of undress let alone his mother. She looked amazing.

His eyes focused on her breasts. They were full with very erect nipples from the now cooling water. The nipples were surrounded by a large area of dark pink. His eyes moved down to her stomach. He was amazed at how flat it was. Looking even further down, he saw the dark patch of pubic hair, and he became hard. Never before had the female form affected him like this. He quickly stepped back, and went to the couch in the room. He sat down, confused by what he had just have happen to him. He could not get the image of that beautiful body out of his mind. He stood up grabbing the remote for the TV from the nightstand, and punched the on button. The volume was set to high, and some talking head from behind a desk was yelling from the set.

She awoke in the tub to someone yelling. Disoriented from her slumber in the tub, she jumped from the tub and rushed out into the room to find her son sitting on the couch. Initially stunned, she forgot she had nothing on and stood there looking at him. Seeing the look in his eyes, she quickly backed into the bathroom with her hands trying to cover her exposed body. "I'm so sorry about that Eli," she stammered. "I guess I must have fallen asleep. How long have you been sitting there?"

"Not long mom. Figured you were soaking or something. Sorry the TV was so loud."

She partially shut the door as she toweled off. It did not go unnoticed by her that her son was checking her out as she stood there fully exposed to him. While she we embarrassed, it made her realize that the only male to see her like that for quite some time was her son. It was a sad commentary on her life. She thought she should be more ashamed that her son saw her naked, but for the briefest of moments a thrill went through her. To stand before a man who was eyeing her with interest was indeed exciting. She wrapped the towel around her hair and covered with another and headed out to get her clothes.