I spent a lot of time talking with Josh, but it was a bit weird. We never had any issues finding things to share with each other when we were on campus. Now that we were separated, we mostly just talked about random nothings. Still, it was comforting whenever I sat down and saw a message from him. Knowing that he was missing me or thinking about me, and especially that we'd be back at Maryland relatively soon, was soothing.
One day, I noticed that Mike wasn't around. I asked mom and she said that he was across the Bay, looking for an apartment. He'd be going back to NASA and needed to find a place to live. I briefly thought back to his old apartment, which had been, for a short time, our apartment.
A few days later and I was in the kitchen when I heard Mike telling mom that he had signed a lease for a place in Bowie. He'd be gone again soon, almost like he was moving back to Spain. I wondered if that would actually be for the best.
It was a Saturday when Mike was leaving to move to Bowie. I watched from my window as he packed his things into his truck. I went downstairs.
Mike had his back turned to me when I stepped out the front door onto the porch. When he turned back and saw me, I walked across the path to him.
I wasn't angry anymore, other than my internal anger at myself for how I had reacted to him coming back. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also didn't know how we could get back to when he was my big brother, always there for me. I was a different person now than when that had been the case. Combined with the experiences we'd had, together and apart, maybe it wasn't possible to get back there. Maybe the best we could be was how Michael Collins once described himself, Neil Armstrong, and Buzz Aldrin... amiable strangers.
When I was in front of him, I watched for a moment as his eyes flickered back and forth, searching my own eyes. He wouldn't say anything and I knew why. He didn't want to anger me. Even after all I'd done to him, he was still concerned about me.
"Good luck, Mike."
His face relaxed just the tiniest bit, like he'd been expecting me to say something awful and was surprised that I hadn't.
"Thanks, Savy."
I went back inside as he pulled out of the driveway.
When I was back in the house, I went to the kitchen to get some tea. Mom came up behind me and rested her hand on my back.
"It took a long time for you both to heal while you were apart. This will take time, too."
I turned and hugged her before returning to my room. I played my violin and my mind could focus on music, but my choices were rather melancholy.
Over the next few days, I did eventually start to focus on the positives in my life again. Josh. Violin. Moving into an apartment with Maria. Starting my junior year. I still thought about Mike, but mom was right, this would all take time.
At the end of the month, mom and I packed everything I owned except for furniture into our two cars and drove to College Park. The first time I turned the key and entered my new apartment was an incredible experience. It's one of those fun moments in life, much like your first day of high school, first day of college, or first job. It's a simple thing, but feels like it's a world of possibilities.
Later, mom and I went to buy some simple furniture for my bedroom. She left me with some more spending money, despite my insistence that it wasn't necessary, to help furnish the living room once Maria got there. She said that since my tuition was covered by my scholarship now, having some extra cash for living wasn't a problem.
After Maria moved in, the two of us reveled in our newfound sense of freedom. We did so many new things together, including buying furniture, our first trip to the grocery store, and settling into a routine of living in an apartment with all the associated chores and responsibilities.
In mid-July, Josh moved back. He was going to be living on campus again for his junior year. I had asked Maria how she felt about him staying over nights at the apartment. She said that it was fine, since he was a clean guy and would contribute to things like the food budget, as long as she didn't hear anything.
The first day he was back, I walked over to campus and met him at his new dorm. We ate lunch at the union before walking to my apartment. Once inside, we curled up on the couch and watched a movie. It felt good to be in his arms again, where everything else in the world didn't matter.
That night, he stayed over.
On nights when we had practice sessions at the performing arts center, we stayed on campus at his dorm, since it was a more convenient walk and his roommate wouldn't be on campus until the fall semester. On other nights and weekends, we would go back to my apartment just off campus and either hang out with Maria if she were there or enjoy being back together if she wasn't.
The summer seemed to be passing by too quickly. Without any classes related to biology, my days were filled with music and Josh. We could work together, either in practice sessions or in my apartment, trying new combinations of music or perfecting specific pieces that we knew Max wanted us to play. And we had more free time to simply be back together after a month apart. When it wasn't insanely hot, we could get lunch and eat on the mall or simply walk around campus.
Unfortunately, we did have our first fight as a couple one day. We were walking out of the union and to the mall when Josh suggested that we sit by the fountain, since the water would make it a bit cooler. I asked if we could sit under some trees on the side instead. I don't know how it got out of control, but before I knew it, I was upset that he was trying to push something onto me that I didn't want and he was pissed that I was being unreasonable about not wanting to do something so benign. I just... didn't want to be by the fountain.
We ended up spending that night apart, the first since we'd returned to campus that we weren't together. The next morning, Josh called me, which was unusual because we usually talked online or texted if we weren't together. He apologized, as did I, and the matter was quickly dropped.
In August, it was time for Jeff and Mia's wedding. A week beforehand, mom drove up on a Saturday and I met her in Annapolis to go shopping for a dress. She was spoiling me, which I felt guilty about, but she insisted that the money was no problem.
After a day of window shopping, I settled on a long mint green gown. It was somewhat tight, but accented my hips and my breasts. The front was fairly conservative, with a straight collar across my neck, but the rear was completely open down to the small of my back. It was a style I'd really come to love since mom bought me the gown for my first concert. Josh never ceased to compliment me on the look or lightly run his fingers across my bare back when I wore such a dress, which sent shivers up my spine.
On the day of the wedding, I went to a hair stylist near campus to do something special and unique, at mom's insistence. The stylist loved the length of my hair. She created multiple braids on each side of my head before pulling everything back. She clipped my remaining free hair, so that it would hang between my shoulder blades, then wove the various braids in and out, creating a laced pattern that pulled around the side of my head and then fell down my back. I sent mom a picture and she simply responded, "Spectacular!"
Josh drove to my apartment to pick me up and then we made the short drive to the chapel on campus. We walked in together, hand in hand, and were shown to our seats near the front. I felt honored that Jeff and Mia had wanted us to sit so close to the front.
While we waited for the ceremony to start, we talked about how beautiful the chapel looked and how special it must be for two Maryland graduates to get married on the campus where they met. Josh was also tickling me a bit, making me smile and laugh. He had just leaned over and kissed me on the cheek when I saw that Jeff had taken his place at the altar to wait for Mia.
Next to him was Mike.
He was looking directly at me. Our eyes only met for a brief second and then I heard Pachelbel. Mike's eyes left mine. I watched as he turned and smiled at Jeff, then the two of them looked down the aisle.
Everyone in the audience turned too, but I was focused on Mike. He looked incredibly good in his tuxedo, which was perfectly fitted to his broad shoulders and trim waist. His hair had its typical rustled, but attractively so, appearance, falling around the sides of his face. All of the men in the wedding party had red kerchiefs in their breast pocket, except for Jeff who had a gold one.
I finally turned and saw the flower girl walking about halfway down the aisle, then a delighted gasp as Mia came into view. She wore a spectacular satin mermaid dress, without much lace or adornment. It was simple and gorgeous. She looked incredible and so happy. I peaked back and Jeff and he had a stunned smile on his face. They were so incredibly in love and this was their perfect day.
As she reached the altar and stood across from Jeff, I felt Josh squeeze my hand. I looked at him and he smiled at me, with that sheepish lopsided grin of his that was so adorable.
The ceremony was simple and beautiful. Jeff and Mia's vows made almost everyone in the audience cry, including myself. We stood and applauded after they'd exchanged rings and a kiss and were making their way down the aisle, as husband and wife.
