I had known that I wanted my mother since I first became sexually aroused. I would look at porn mags and think of what a woman must look like in the flesh. I would pretend to accidentally walk in on her at different times, seeing her body and recording it in my memory.
I suspected as time went on and I grew older that she knew they weren't all accidental occurrences. I also noticed that she seemed to at times allow this to occur. Whether this was the case or not I could never bring myself to do anything about it.
The social taboos and feelings of a mother son relationship were more than I could rationalize or overcome at an early age.
After I went to college and started to experience the world my understanding of what I had felt for her became clearer. I loved her and felt close to her. We had a bond that I wanted to take deeper. I also started to see her as an unobtainable goal, making my desire even greater.
When I received the news in my first year of college that my mom ,Brenda, and dad had decided to get a divorce I was not surprised. I had felt for some time the resentment that they felt for each other. In fact I felt a resentment from my dad that he was staying with my mother for my sake, and this was hampering his life in some way.
During spring break of my junior year I decided to forgo the usual hedonistic route and go home to help my mother with some things around the house. She had related to me in recent phone calls that there were some things that needed a mans abilities.
Mom as far as I knew had dated a time or two but nothing serious or lasting. I started thinking if this might be the time to answer some long standing questions. I also started to formulate a few scenarios that might open the door to the answers. Little did I know that things would work themselves out.
When I arrived home on Friday evening mom had supper cooked. She had fixed one of my favorites, chicken burritos and taco salad. She also had another of my favorites, Corona's, which was strange in that my mother never drank much or cared for beer.
When we sat down to eat she said "I know you probably wanted to go with your friends to Mexico for the break. And I appreciate you coming home to help so much that I decided to try and at least give you a taste of the border."
I said "You know you mean more to me than my friends and I'm the man of the house now so to speak so for this week relax and I'll take of you."
With that said mom got up and turned on a CD of south of the border guitar music. We ate and drank and talked about all manner of things, some of which I had never thought of to discuss with my mother before.
I was starting to feel like I was with a good friend or on a date. I looked at Brenda and took her features in. Her hair was shorter than when I had grown up but still shoulder length. She had it pulled into a ponytail and this seemed to give her a more youthful appearance.
She was wearing a sleeveless top that was tight enough to show her nipples as she was wearing no bra. Her breasts had always been large for her size but now seem fuller hanging free. Her faded denims were not to tight but accented her full hips. She had put on some weight but just enough to show her maturity, not detract from her sexuality.
After dinner we went to the den and started watching a movie she had rented. It was not the best I had seen lately but ok. Mom got up and returned after a while with lemon and lime slices and a bottle of Tequila.
Shocked I said "What has gotten into you, first beers with supper and now Tequila. What's next, rock music and strippers?"
She just smiled and said "I just wanted to make you feel like you weren't missing anything. I'm sorry but I don't have the strippers. You'll just have to make do like with your old magazines, I left them between the mattresses in your room."
I said "Mom, you knew about those?"
"I knew about a lot of things but never said anything. I know what its like to be young and have a libido. I never wanted to deny you of your attractions. That might have lead to you looking elsewhere. You might have gotten involved in other things with other people." She said
I wondered if she meant about how I was always trying to see her naked.
To my surprise she sat down next to me and poured out two shots of tequila. She said "Bottoms up, were on spring break tonight."
We both had a couple of shots and the movie finished. I turned on the satellite and when I thumbed through noticed that the Erotic channels were paid for.
Mom said nothing so I made another pass and stopped on one for a few minutes. It was soft in nature but was showing a man and woman having sex in different positions.
I said "No strippers but this will do."
Mom said "Oh this came when I ordered the whole package. I just left it on to have something different. Better than your magazines Uh."
I said "Yea I just can't take it to my bedroom and lock the door."
We laughed and she said "Well if its that hard on you maybe I need to leave until you get things straightened out." And she stared right at the huge bulge in my pants.
I said "Your the pot calling the kettle black." and pointed to her nipples which were protruding a good half an inch out of her blouse.
She reached down and rubbed her palm across her left nipple and said "I guess we both might have to lock our doors this evening."
"You don't have to on my account. "I said feeling the effects of the liquor "Its nothing I haven't seen before."
She said "Well I knew you used to like to see me naked but I didn't think you'd ever caught me doing that."
