Mutual Feelings

(Thanks everyone for the voting I definitely got lots of opinions on this one so according to the one with most votes I've written the end. This is the 1st part of the last two chp. hope you like it. Alicexxx)

*

Nyssa lay quietly on her side, eyes trained on the sun light streaming in through the bedroom window... feeling completely emotionally bankrupt. On her waist she felt the arm that held her close shift and a palm flatten itself against her stomach. She sighed. It had been a mistake to come here. She knew that now. It hadn't solved anything... but she'd needed to be away from Dean... and Luke had offered her warmth and acceptance...and in the end she had let him down.

After carrying her to the bedroom, they had stood beside the bed, kissing and touching - soft kisses, soft touches... nothing like what she had experienced with Dean. Even now she remembered how Luke had lowered her gently onto the bed, hands gliding over her still clothed body, tracing the dips and curves... it had felt nice, but again, not like the mind blowing pleasure she had felt wit Dean.

When his hand began creeping up beneath her t-shirt she had frozen on the spot for a second, breathing hard - her mind a complete mess and then she'd burst into tears, effectively ruining any seduction scene about to happen. Luke, sweetheart that he was had just held her, told her it was alright and that they didn't have to do anything... and that's the way they had fallen asleep. His arms around her as she had hiccupped away to sleep.

"Good morning." Luke's voice, rough with sleep interrupted her thoughts.

Nyssa turned her head to look back at him and fixed him with sombre hazel eyes. "Hi." She whispered - at the same time that someone started banging on the door. Her eyes flew wide open as she saw Luke's own eyes narrow with determination.

"Stay here." He said shortly, rolling out of the bed and pulling on his jeans... but his chest remained bare. Then without another look at her he started out the room.

"Luke! Luke wait! Don't!" She scrambled out of bed and nearly tripped over herself as she ran after him - only to skid to a stop as she heard a door slam.

"Where is she?"

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of Dean's voice. He sounded worse then he had in the car. He sounded violent.

"Get out, when she wants to see you she will." Was the equally vicious response.

Shaking her head, she moved quickly into the hall and walked in just as Dean was striding purposefully towards Luke.

Catching sight of her he froze mid step and stood staring at her, green eyes burning fiercely as he took in Luke's t-shirt on her - the sweats having been disposed of for sleep. A murderous glint came into his eyes and before anyone could react Luke went sprawling as Dean slammed a well aimed fist into his jaw.

"Luke!" But even as she cried out in panic Luke threw himself at Dean and they went crashing into the dinner table. "Don't!" There was a sickening sound as Luke's fist connected and Nyssa went running over and caught him around the waist trying to drag him off Dean.

"Stop! Please stop!" He just shoved her back. Nyssa tripped and fell. Luke stumbled back as Dean kneed him in the stomach.

"Son of a bitch! You'll never touch her again! I'll kill you! Do you understand?" Dean looked wild as he stared down at Luke and then viciously kicked Luke in the ribs. "I told you I'd kill you if you touched her, you should've listened!" He hissed and lifted his foot again.

"No! Dean! NO!" She ran to them and wrapped her arms around Luke, shielding him with her body even as she turned tearful eyes to her brother. "Dean," her voice trembled, "nothing happened I swear! I didn't sleep with him!" She saw the wild look in his eyes and tried to gulp down her fear. "We just shared the bed, that's all, I swear - just stop this okay? Please! Don't fight anymore." Her voice broke and she looked away as tears started pouring down her face.

Dean stood there, she could hear his heavy breathing in the dead silence of the room, Luke was moaning slightly in pain, hands clutching his ribs.

"You left me for him." His tone was calm, as if his outburst of violence had never been... but it was ice cold.

"That's not how it was." She sobbed.

"Isn't it? We slept together and then you leave without speaking to me and come to him? What is that? Explain that to me Nyssa."

She couldn't answer, she shook her head wordlessly, crying softly, her arms still around Luke.

"You have to know what it is you want Nyssa. So this is what you're going to do. You're going to make a choice. You understand? And do it soon before I change my fucking mind and don't give you the chance to choose." He hissed, then, flicking one last look of brimming violence at Luke he turned and left, slamming out of the house.

Nyssa felt Luke's arm slide around her waist and all she could was rest her head on his shoulder and cry.

***

It was on the fourth day of the new year that Nyssa stood on Luke's porch and knocked.

After what had happened, she had left Luke's house despite his asking for her to stay. The fight between him and Dean had just shown her just what a mistake it had been to go there in the first place, so she had left. She'd gone to stay with a friend as she hadn't been particularly keen on seeing Dean either.

She'd needed time to think and she had taken it. Choose. That was what Dean had said. Well, she had thought long and hard about it... and she had chosen. And she had made the best choice she could under the circumstances.

The door opened and she gasped in dismay as she saw the blue purple bruise that had bloomed on Luke's jaw. He was standing awkwardly as well, his right arm wrapped around his ribs. He was grimacing a bit.

"Dean! Have you seen a Doctor?" She asked in alarm.

He shrugged and started to shrug only to wince in pain. He stepped back to let her in and then closed the door before leaning on the wall and watching her with his quiet blue eyes.

"Are you okay?"

The low voiced question drew a small smile from her. "You're asking me that?"

He returned her smile with a sheepish one. "Can we sit down, it's just that I'm..."

Nyssa nodded and absently brushed a strand of hair from her face before following him into the living room where she watched as he carefully settled himself on the sofa.

"You didn't tell me how you are." He murmured when she didn't say anything.

Nyssa pulled the borrowed cardigan more tightly around her as she walked over to where he sat. But she didn't sit, instead she looked down at the floor and sighed.

"I'm sorry Luke."

He sighed and turned to look out the window, leaving her to study his profile. "That doesn't sound good." He said quietly.

"Luke - the truth is..." she shook her head not knowing how to put it to him, knowing either way, the outcome would be the same. She moved next to him and perched on the edge of the sofa making sure to leave a good space between them. She looked down at the fidgeting hands on her lap.

"You've chosen him haven't you?"

"Luke." She brushed a hand over her forehead and took in a deep breath. "I'm attracted to you. I've always found you attractive and when we kissed in the New Year's - it was amazing... and I think that a relationship between us two seemed like it would be a good idea... but then... that was before Dean and I..." she trailed off and shrugged helplessly, "after what happened between us, I came here to you partly because I knew you would comfort me, but also because I was hoping that the attraction between us would still be able to overlap what I feel for Dean."

She looked at Luke and found him watching her now. He reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair between her hair. "But." It wasn't a question.

"But... it didn't... I told you before how I felt about him...and after being with him in that way, my feelings just intensified." She gave him a sad smile and a helpless shrug. "He's Dean." She said softly.

His jaw tight he looked away and nodded.

"I'm sorry I put you through this Luke. You're a great guy and if... well. There's no point in going there isn't it?" She moved to stand and stopped when she felt strong fingers wrap around her wrist. She paused and looked back to find that he was right next to her now.

He slid a hand into her hair and pulled her closer. Then he kissed her... just like the first time, making her warm up despite her feelings for Dean. Sighing into his mouth she twisted in her position to wrap her arms around him and kiss him back, her tongue doing a slow sweep of his mouth as his hands traced her spine and pressed her closer.

"Don't be sorry." He whispered against her lips, before giving her one last peck and drawing back. His hands brushed her hair back from her face.

Looking at him, Nyssa nodded and caught one of his hands. "Okay then, I won't be." She pressed a kiss to his hand and then got up. "Goodbye Luke."

As she walked away from him, she didn't catch his soft 'goodbye Nyssa'.

***

The house was quiet when she walked in. Nyssa leaned against the door and took a deep breath. This was it...

She heard steps on the stairs and looked up to see Dean standing on the second step, his face unreadable as he stared at her. His black hair tousled, green eyes slightly dazed. All he was wearing was a pair of jeans and unbuttoned jeans at that, leaving his upper body on display.

Nyssa swallowed hard. She drew he cardigan tighter around her, folding her arms across her chest. For a moment all they did was stare at each other, neither one saying a word. Nyssa saw that he had a bruise, only his was on his cheek bone... a colourful one that did nothing what so ever to diminish his appeal.

"You went to him first." His voice was without emotion, just as his face was one complete blank.

"Yes I did." She said, raising her chin. This had gone far enough and she wasn't going to cower behind anyone. "He's got a big fat bruise on his face not to mention he can't walk properly because of his ribs. What were you thinking Dean? You completely lost it."

Anger flared quickly in his eyes and he came the ret of the way down. "Is that what you came to say?" He sneered, coming closer to her.

"Not only that, no."

His gaze sharpened and he came closer. "So you've chosen."

"Yes I have."

"Did you choose him? Is that why you went there to see him?" He demanded, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he clenched it.

Nyssa looked away from him and shook her head. "No I didn't choose Luke. I went there to tell him that and to tell him why. He understood. He always understands."

As soon as the words left her mouth he was striding purposefully towards her and she backed up into the door, lifting her hands in a gesture for him to stop. "Wait!"

A puzzled look came over his face but he stopped, just a few steps away from her, his hands clenching and unclenching by his side. "What is it?"

Nyssa took a deep breath. "I," she hesitated before forcing the words out, "I haven't chosen you either Dean."

To be continued...