CHAPTER 1
My name is Nadia and now I am 38 years old. I was born in an upper middle class household of Lahore, Pakistan. My father, may he rest in peace, was an Air Force officer and my mother was a housewife. Both of them were extremely beautiful in their own right and did have an excellent personality and an excellent aesthetic sense. It was reflected both in their dress, the décor of our house and the classy parties they threw. I have two brothers, both younger to me and one sister, who is elder to me. The frequent postings and movement of my father from one corner, of my country, to another did not do any good to my academics but all my other siblings did well. It, however, gave me a good exposure to elitist environments, prevalent in the forces.
As far as I remember, my parents, here I would call them M and S here, were very unorthodox types. They were married after a turbulent love affair and they were very open in the expression of love to each other. Many times, we siblings, saw them embracing and kissing each other. My earliest memories tell me that our house, regardless of the station of posting of my father, was always a hotbed of social activity. My parents had lot of friends and they all were frequent visitors to our place. Lots of parties and late night sittings, to which we were no part, were common in our house. Then we also learnt that both of my parents were drinkers and although we were not allowed to do so, they never tried to hide this from their children. They both were very good parents and did bring us all the care and love. They groomed us and taught us to be like them. I am very grateful to them for all they did to make me what I am now.
I remember, when I first had the menstrual bleeding, my mother took time to make me understand the facts of life. She continued these lessons as I grew up. She told me about sex, very openly and told me to enjoy it to the fullest. She was also very objective as far as the dos and don'ts were considered and the crux of these lessons was, "not to be embarrassed of your sexuality and enjoy it to the fullest". At the same time she told me that in our society, this is not a commonly shared belief and one should never get into a situation that brings bad name to oneself, and more importantly, the family. When I started developing breasts, she was quick in telling me to take care of them. My elder sister, Najia, who was three years my senior, also passed her knowledge to me readily. She was definitely more advanced than me in knowledge.
It was during these days, when I was growing up, I came to realize about the beauty of my mother. She had large breasts and well shaped behind. Rest of her was trim and tall. In those budding years, I and my sister used to envy her. We also realized that our mother was not very interested in hiding these traits from others while she was at home and even during the frequently thrown parties, she never tried to subdue her assets. Our father was always very appreciative of her looks and dresses.
My father, may he rest in peace, was a high flying officer, in every sense of the expression. He was smart, both physically and mentally. He was a very loving person and took all possible measures to give us what we wanted. He was not the type of person to discriminate his kids on the basis of gender, but we sisters were his favorites. During my budding years, I realized that he had distanced himself a bit from me and my sister. When we used to quiz him as to why this was happening, his answer was always a smile and denial. He used to say that when the time will come we would understand. Mother explained to us that our growing sexuality was the factor and since we were doing well in this department, our father was distancing himself from us. She told us that it was not that he did not love us anymore, but it was because first-blood relatives were supposed to keep some physical distance between themselves. She also mentioned that sexuality is a phenomenon that is liked by all and these social and religious bindings are there everywhere.
As me and my sister grew up, we were told firmly by our mother, that in the event of a party at the house, we should not try to peek around or get comfy with the guests. She told us that at the right time, we will be told what we needed to know. Although, this advice, was followed by both me and my sisters in letter and spirit but we use to listen lots of laughter, clinking of glasses and occasional shrieks from the female guests. Both of us used to wonder a lot about it but never tried to transgress the advice given by our mom.
Our younger brothers, Nasir and Nadeem, were still kids who were too gung ho to bother about anything other than their favorite pastime that was sports. They were both athletic and tall. Our father was a bit stricter towards them and particularly when it came to their studies.
When my sister was about to turn 18, mom took her to shopping and when they came back, my sister was a bit lost. When I asked, I was snowballed casually. I noticed that she was acting a bit strange and when the day of birth drew nearer, she was getting more wound up. When I confronted her a bit more solidly, she told me to wait till I myself turn 18. On her birthday, there was a huge party thrown and unlike other parties, where kids were not a party, this one did include all us siblings and our friends from the base. When my sister cut the cake, she chose to feed the first cut to our father. After the cake and food, the party again was turned into an all-adult affair and all those younger, me included, were shooed away. The party, however, did not last long and soon it became a very quiet house. Najia did not join me that night and I wondered where she has gone. I slept fitfully that night.
I woke up very late and when I went downstairs to the dining room, I found all my family sitting there barring Najia and dad. When I asked mom, she told me that dad and Najia have gone on a trip to Muree, a hill station, and it was a gift from the side of dad on her turning to 18. After the breakfast, my mom, took me aside and told me that she knew that I was confused and perplexed. I was told that I should not worry and it was all something good that will be known to me in due course of time. She also told me to keep my mouth closed, if I observed something changed and different, and not to discuss anything with the younger brothers and also no one from outside the family. This little lecture made me more confused and curious. I anxiously waited for the return of my sis and dad.
They returned after three days and both of them did act differently. No longer was my father distancing himself from her and I was starting to feel jealous with my own sister. The more warmer their relationship became, more colder I became towards them. Conversely, her behavior towards me became more loving. She took my coolness very maturely and never got agitated when I did something childish. She became more like my mother, both in behavior and appearance.
Immediately after their return, she was given a separate bedroom and this infuriated me a lot. When I confronted my mother with this, she told me that it was just to give Najia more living space. Najia's room was not an out of bound place for me but she, at times, did guard her privacy rather severely. Her room now had more luxuries and her wardrobe multiplied each passing day. Dad showered her with gifts and sometimes her gifts were outmatching those given to my mom. Najia, now, was a partner to both mom and dad in most of the activities less the parties. She, however, threw her own parties, inviting her friends to them. I noticed that her parties were also similar to those thrown by mom and dad except for the age group.
Najia's closeness to our father took me very close to my mom. I noticed that mom's social activities are on the increase and she was spending more time out. She was also acting a bit different. We spent long hours chatting with each other. She told me about the love affair of her with dad and was very open with it. She told me that they were neighbors and their affair started when dad joined Air Force. She told me that she lost her virginity to dad and after that there was no turning back. She also mentioned, in rather vague terms, that dad introduced her to the breaking of taboos and she was not at all repentant about anything.
After two years, Najia was engaged to a distant maternal cousin. Her fiancé, Shahid, was living abroad and was 5 years her senior. He had just started on with a career in law and was very handsome. The engagement ceremony was a fun-and-frolic affair with lots of guests both local and foreign. Najia looked stunning in her dress. While dressing her up, I came to realize that she had indeed turned more beautiful with her age. The transformation from a minor to an adult had made her curvier and she was simply great. I started to envy her.
