My Brother My Roommate My Lover

Hi. I'm Lizi and I'm now 36 years old. This story is about stuff that happened 17 years ago when I started college. It concerns my brother and me, and it's all true.

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My name is Lizi. Actually, of course, it's Elizabeth, but everybody calls me Lizi, including my family. I'm 19 years old and a freshman in college at the University of Florida. Going away to school has been more of an experience than I ever imagined it would be. I guess I was a fairly innocent girl before I went to college but that all changed quickly. To understand this, you'll need to know some history.

I was born to educated, well-mannered parents. Mom and Dad are very intelligent and they don't make a big fuss over things that aren't important. They both worked at jobs that paid them well. We grew up in a nice home with a swimming pool and everybody had their own bedroom. When we reached 16, each of us was given a car. It was a used car, but we each had our own car to drive and it was great having some freedom.

My parents don't smoke but they do drink alcohol sometimes. They're not drunks or wild party animals but I have probably seen each of my parents "under the influence" on one or two occasions. They don't curse like sailors but they occasionally used a swear word and didn't freak out if one of us kids said "damn" or "hell."

I have an older brother named Edward, but everybody calls him Ed. He is three years older than me and he is a senior at UF. Ed and I were always close when we were growing up and there weren't many secrets that we didn't share.

I don't want to sound like I'm conceited but Ed and I have always been told that we're attractive. I'm not a beauty contest winner but most guys would like to have a date with me. I have dark blonde hair and green eyes. I'm 5'4" tall and I weigh 115 lbs., so I'm fairly slender but not anorexic.

Now that I've grown up I have 34B boobs. I know that's not big in the boob department but it's what I have. Sometimes I wish I had bigger boobs but I have friends with humongous tits who wish theirs were smaller. I'm not flat-chested and I definitely don't look like a guy with my shirt off. If you think having a handful of tits is enough, then I have enough. Besides, big tits would look gross on a girl as petite as me. I've been told that they're very cute and perky. I'm out in the sun a lot and, in Florida, that means you have a good tan. I've been told that I'm as cute as most of the cheerleaders at my high school.

Ed is 5"10" and he has dark brown hair. He played baseball in high school and he's always been athletic. My friends always had a crush on him and said they wanted to "boink" him. I just laughed when they said that. Ed was always nice to them, considering that he's three years older than me and my friends.

My family are not nudists but we weren't prudes at home, either. When we were kids, after I had my bath, I would run around in just my panties until I was about 9 years old. After that, I had to wear a T-shirt or pajama top when I was out of the bedroom. Sometimes I sleep in just my panties and a T-shirt but sometimes I sleep in just my panties. When I turned 16, if I shut my bedroom door, I slept absolutely naked and I loved it.

Ed ran around the house in just his underwear until he was twelve or thirteen. One day, I asked my Mom why Ed's underwear was poking out in front and that's when I had to start wearing a top. They made Ed start wearing a bathrobe around the house too but, when they were gone, Ed and I would sometimes walk around the house in just our underwear. It wasn't a big deal to us and it certainly wasn't anything sexual. We were just comfortable with seeing each other in our underwear. Besides, we shared a bathroom and life was easier because we didn't maintain any false modesty.

Ed and I always talked about our friends and we talked about dating, too. When he was a senior in high school, I was in the 9th grade. I wasn't really dating then but he was and he told me about it. He was 18 years old and I thought he was so grown up! He told me about kissing girls and feeling their boobs. It felt a little weird to hear my brother talk about that. I thought that maybe those girls were sluts, even though Ed never said that he went further than just feeling their boobs. Maybe he was having sex with them but, if he was, he didn't tell me.

I asked Ed about dating. I asked him a lot of questions. I asked him why guys wanted to stick their tongue in a girl's mouth. I asked him why guys went nuts trying to see a girl's panties. I asked him why guys always talked about it if they had sex with a girl. He always answered my questions and I learned as much from him, maybe more, than I did from my girlfriends.

Ed also talked to me about drinking. He and his friends would sometimes get some beer and I even saw Ed drunk once when he was in high school. Mom and Dad were gone overnight to some convention for Dad's job and Ed came home that night drunk. I was ready for bed when I heard him come in the front door. He was staggering and talking funny, you know, slurred and hard to understand.

I followed him to his bedroom to make sure he was okay. He started undressing just like I wasn't there and he stripped down to his underpants. Then he said he needed to pee. He went in the bathroom and forgot to close the door; I heard him peeing. I guess I could have followed him and got an eyeful; at that time, I hadn't seen a guy's thing except on the babies I had when I did babysitting. I wanted to look but I didn't want Ed to get mad at me or think I was weird, so I didn't do it.

Ed came back to his bedroom and fell down on the bed. He was out in 5 seconds. I laid down next to Ed and put my arms around him. I loved my brother and I wanted to take care of him. After that, I know that Ed continued to drink occasionally but I never saw him drunk again.

In the summers, we both had part-time jobs so we were gone from the house and saw less of each other but there were times when we were both at home on a weekday and Mom and Dad were both at work. We would hang out at our pool a lot, just the two of us. By the time I was 15 and Ed was 18, I had boobs. They were a bit smaller back then, but so was I. Just the same, I was proud of my boobs and I liked to wear a bikini when I was around the pool.

One day that summer, I was already at the pool and I knew Ed would be coming out in a few minutes. I laid on my stomach and reached behind me to undo my bikini top. I wanted to work on not having a tan line, at least on my back. When Ed came out to the pool, I could see the front of his baggies poking out. By that time, I knew what caused the tent in the shorts. That was the first time that I thought that maybe Ed considered me to be attractive as a girl and not just like a cute kid sister.

That was the summer before Ed went away to college. When he left, I cried. I felt like my best friend had just abandoned me. I didn't let my parents see me cry. I was afraid they would think I was being silly. I missed him. A lot.

Every time he came home for a weekend or holidays, he always found time for me. He would hang with his high school friends and some UF friends who lived in our area, but he always had time for me. He would take me out to lunch and we'd talk about school, his love life, my love life, and all sorts of stuff. It seems like he dated a bunch of girls but never settled down with any one of them. I was glad because I didn't want to see him hooked up permanent with any girl. The way he described them, most of them seemed to be okay but not good enough for him. That's what I thought.

We'd talk about my love life, too. When I was 18, I was a senior and I had been dating one guy, Mark, steady for the past two years. Despite what everybody else thought or refused to believe, we had not had sex. I was still a virgin. Well, we hadn't had sex like regular sex. I had given Mark a few hand jobs and he had felt my boobs. (Yes, I figured out that letting a guy feel your boobs didn't automatically make you a slut.) A few weeks earlier, we had come home from a date and we sat in his car for awhile. I was wearing a skirt and Mark put his hand between my legs. He started rubbing on my panties between my legs and I had an orgasm in like 30 seconds. It was incredible; way better than anything I could do to myself. Mark wanted me to do more but I was afraid. That was the extent of my sexual experience in high school.

When Ed was home for a weekend, he asked me to go to a club with him and I thought it was a cool idea. Once we were there, he got me a rum and coke and made me promise I wouldn't tell Mom and Dad. Actually, I had two rum and cokes and that was more than I had ever drank before. I danced some with a few guys I knew and then Ed asked me to dance. When we walked out on the dance floor, the fast song they had been playing ended and a slow dance started. I felt okay about doing a slow dance with my brother so I turned and put my arms around him to dance. I put my head on his shoulder and it felt like I was in a dream. After a few seconds, I felt Ed's hand on my butt, just playing around with the elastic at the top of my panties. The he pulled me closer to him and I felt his bulge against my inner thigh. This time, I was quite certain that Ed was attracted to me and I was flattered, because he was the coolest guy I knew, and he was older. But . . . Ed was my brother, even if he had a stiff member in his pants.

When we got home that night, Mom and Dad were already in bed. We walked up the stairs and stopped at my bedroom door. Ed told me that he was glad that I went dancing with him and then he kissed me on the cheek. For a second, I thought he was gonna kiss me on the lips. I instantly felt my nipples get hard and I was glad that Ed couldn't see my pokies in the dark. I felt so horny that night that I shut my bedroom door, got naked in bed, and masturbated twice before I went to sleep. I felt kind of ashamed thinking about my brother and sex but I figured I was just horny and just thoughts couldn't be too bad.

Anyway, the next day, Ed asked me about where I was going to college and I really hadn't decided. He suggested that I go to UF and then he got excited about the idea. He said it would be cheaper for Mom and Dad to rent a house for the two of us to share instead of me living on campus. That got me excited and there wasn't any other college that I wanted to go to, so that made my decision easy. My grades and test scores were good enough to get in.

Once I got accepted, Ed talked to Mom and Dad about renting a house. He had checked out a few possibilities and he was right; it was cheaper for the two of us to share a house than living on campus in a dorm.

That summer, Mom and Dad and Ed and I all went to Gainesville for a weekend to look for a house to rent. We looked at a few of the cheaper houses south of the campus but Dad didn't want me living in that part of Gainesville. So we looked at a few houses with higher rent and we finally found one that was furnished and it even had a pool in the backyard with a privacy fence. Dad was happy with that. He said he didn't want any young perverts looking at me while I was laying out in the sun.

Dad got a couple of rooms at a hotel so we could stay over in Gainesville on Saturday night. Ed and I shared a room with twin beds and it wasn't adjoining Mom and Dad's room. Ed took his shower first and he exited the bathroom wearing just his boxers. I whistled at him teasingly and he defended himself by saying that he wasn't revealing anything more than he would show the public on a beach. When I came out of the bathroom wearing panties and a cutoff t-shirt that just covered my boobs, I didn't wait for any comments; I immediately declared that I, also, wasn't displaying anything that couldn't be seen on a public beach. Ed quickly jumped under the sheets and then I got in bed. A minute later, he went in the bathroom and was in there for an extended stay. I used the opportunity to finger myself. The idea that Ed might come out and catch me playing with myself seemed to make my orgasm more intense. Part of me was really disgusted that I was masturbating while my brother was in the bathroom, but I was so turned on I couldn't stop. After I came, I fell asleep within a few minutes. I don't know if Ed could smell the scent of sex when he came out of the bathroom, but he never said anything about it.

A few weeks later, we packed up our stuff and drove down to Gainesville. Mom and Dad wanted to come along and I really didn't want that but Ed took me aside and told me to be patient because they'd be gone in less than 24 hours. He was right, of course.

So Mom and Dad went to Gainesville with us. We unpacked everything and then Mom took me to the grocery store and she bought about half of the store and I guess I could tell she was worried. I tried to tell her I'd be okay but I don't think that made her feel better. She cried as they were leaving and then I started crying and then Ed said he would take care of me. Finally, they left.

We went back in the house and sat down in the living room. Ed started the conversation.

"Okay. They're gone now. So here's the rules: there aren't any rules. This is your place and you can do whatever you want. I'm not your Daddy; I'm just your big brother. If I see you startin' to do somethin' stupid, I'll talk to you about it, but I won't tell you what you can and can't do."

"Sometimes, I have a few friends over and we party, but other than that, things don't get too crazy around here. Right now, I don't have a girlfriend, so you don't have to worry about runnin' into somebody else in the bathroom in the mornin'. If you wanna have somebody spend the night, that's your business. Just let me know so I don't have any surprises the next mornin'."

"Well," I said, "I'm still goin' with Mark, so I probably won't be datin'. Mark might come up for a weekend occasionally, but that's about it."

"You know," Ed said in a very brotherly voice, "most people who start college when they're datin' somebody back home end up breakin' up within a few months, 'cause that long distance thing is hard to work and there's too much temptation all around you. Maybe you guys will be the exception, but don't be surprised . . .."

"Well, I'm not sure that he's the one for me. I mean, it's not like we had sex . . .."

"Holy shit!" Ed exclaimed. "That's amazing. You guys've dated forever and you still haven't had sex. . . . And he's still with you. Amazing!" After a brief pause, Ed continued, "that means you're still a virgin. Wow!"

"Yeah, but is there somethin' wrong with that?" I replied, feeling a bit defensive. After all, it wasn't like I was a 40 year-old virgin. I had just turned 19.

"No, sweetie, there's nothin' wrong with it. It's just that most girls aren't virgins by the time they get to college. You might feel a bit out of place when you make friends with chicks up here and they start talkin' about doin' the wild thing with their boyfriends."

"It's not like I'm totally inexperienced. We got naked together a few times and played with each other. But it just felt wrong to let him stick his dick in me just to feel good unless it meant somethin' and . . . I don't know . . . at the time, I thought he was just more interested in scorin' with me. I mean . . . I know he cared, but . . . I was scared and I just didn't want to go any further."

"Okay, well, if that's how you felt, it was probably the right decision. I'm just sayin', when you start datin' at college, most guys probably won't go out with you more than a few times unless they think they're makin' some progress towards gettin' it on. And . . . sooner or later, you'll let one of 'em get into your panties."

"Well, I'm not a total prude. Me and some friends went to a topless beach a few times in high school. Maybe I'll feel different if I start datin' somebody here, but not right now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Mark's the one . . . well, maybe . . . but he's not here. So . . . tell me about the topless beach thing. I never heard about that."

"It was no big deal. Me and Lacy and Crystal went to this place where there aren't any houses for about a half-mile, and durin' the week, if you skip school and go there, you pretty much have it to yourself. So, we went there, and Crystal said 'hey, we can work on an all-over tan' so I said 'sure, why not' and we took off our tops and tanned."

"Cool. I wish you had invited me along. I'd love to see Crystal's big tits." Ed was my brother but he was always such a guy. "Ya know, that's funny, 'cause a few times last year, me and Joni went to a lake here where you can go totally naked and nobody cared. So when we were house huntin' a few weeks ago and I saw this pool, I thought about the possibility of doin' that here, ya know, not with Joni, 'cause she's history, but maybe I could and you could, if you were comfortable with it, and . . . who knows . . . maybe eventually we'd be comfortable enough to do it at the same time, but . . . but I don't want to weird you out or anything."

"Ya know," Ed continued, "bein' roommates means we need to be comfortable with each other. I mean . . . I don't usually walk around in a bathrobe or fully dressed and I hope that won't bother you. And you can walk around here as comfortable as you wanna be, too."

"Well, we've seen each other in our underwear enough times that it wouldn't be weird. And maybe I might wanna get a tan with no lines up top, but I don't know about totally nude, 'cause it's been like a long time since we saw each other that way and that might be a little too . . . well . . . weird," I said. The I added, "who knows, when I get comfortable with the idea, who knows what might happen."

"That's good. I usually lay out at the pool topless anyway," Ed joked. "We can get started on our tans this afternoon. I got nothin' else to do."

We had lunch -- just sandwiches and iced tea -- and then Ed said he was gonna change into his swimsuit. I went to my bedroom and put on a bikini that wasn't too eeny teeny weeny but it was a bikini.

When I went out the patio door to the pool, Ed was already laying on a lounge chair. He was wearing a pair of swim shorts that looked kinda like gym shorts. He already had a pretty good tan going.

I laid down in the chair next to him. I laid down on my stomach and I reached behind me to loosen my top.

"Ed, can you do my back?" I asked.

"Sure. You got some lotion here?"

"Yeah, I got a big bottle right here," I replied.

Ed got up and grabbed the bottle and squeezed some into his hands. Actually, it was a suntan oil, so it went on real smooth, like massage oil.

"Where do you want it?" he asked.

"I need it all over but mostly I need it on my back."

Ed started with my shoulders and arms. It felt like he was trying to massage me as he was applying it, not just rubbing it on but using a little pressure that I felt down into my muscles.

"Yum," I moaned, but not in a sexual way. His hands felt strong. "That feels good. You're hired."

"Well then, I'll keep going," he answered. Next he did my back. First he ran his palms up and down my spine then he moved out and reached around to my sides. As he moved up towards my shoulders, his hands touched the sides of my boobs. I don't think he was trying to get me aroused or anything, but I'll admit it felt good.

Next he did my low back and he reached down all the way to the top of my bikini bottoms. "Uhhhm, you have strong hands," I said. As I finished my sentence, I could feel his fingertips just pushing ever so slightly under the elastic in my bikini, but no further.

Then, he moved to my left foot and applied oil to my heel, my calf, behind my knee and he moved up my thigh. As he did the inside of my thigh, I thought I could feel his knuckles grazing my bikini where it covered my most strategic parts but, again, it didn't feel like anything he was trying to do. It didn't last long but it sure made me feel a little tingly.