Our family was always close since my Dad and his brother, Rick, ran a small family-owned oil company. It had been started by my grandfather, when he had returned home from World War II. My grandparents had four sons, but Tim, the oldest and Roy, the youngest were both killed. Tim was a pilot and was killed when his B-52 crashed during a training exercise. Roy had been a Marine like my grandfather and had been killed during the Tet Offensive. My Dad and Rick both had been in the Army. They had both served in Vietnam, but their luck had been better. They took over operations of the company when they got home and my Granddad and Grandmother retired to a life of comfort. Rick and my dad, Bob, were pretty wild when they returned from Vietnam. They were out on the town every night, and worked their asses off during the day. They finally settled down enough to get married to, coincidentally, two sisters. Each marriage yielded one child. Dad and mom, Liz, had me, Brad. Rick and his wife Shelley had a daughter named Janie.
Growing up, Janie was the baby sister I never had. We were born about 6 months apart and almost from the beginning, we were inseparable. We always had a great time together when our families went to the lake or went on trips. I was always there to pick her up if she fell, or help with a skinned knee. As we grew older, I was always her confidant, and the shoulder she cried on.
We always hung around with one another in high school and had a similar group of friends. It was from this group that she met Chris. Chris was a good kid. He was artistic and liked photography. Janie was always into stuff like that, and the two of them really seemed to hit it off. After they began dating seriously, I still remained Janie's go-to person for advice or someone to talk to. She said Chris was sometimes resentful that she came to me for so many things. I could imagine so, but I had to admit that I was always pretty envious of Chris as Janie transformed from a scrawny kid to the beautiful young woman she became. She had been blessed with great looks, an unsinkable personality and a wonderful sense of humor. She was also blessed with a body that any woman would be proud of. Wonderful toned legs and butt and a tremendous chest. She was almost a carbon copy of her and my own mother.
I grew up to look my Dad and Uncle Rick, except I was about 6 inches shorter than them at 5'10". I was fortunate enough to inherit their broad shoulders and rugged good looks. All through school, I had played sports and lifted weights and had managed to build a solid muscular frame, that I was proud of. My hair was a little longer than my dad wanted, but he didn't argue with me too much about it. As we were nearing high school graduation, Janie finally decided that she was going to go back east to a liberal arts school with Chris. Chris was going to study photography, and she was going to major in journalism. She had always showed no interest in the family business. I had decided to attend the big state school and was going to study engineering and geology like my grandfather, Dad and Uncle Rick and continue the family business.
We made a date for the two of us for dinner the night before she left for school. She looked great in the sleeveless, low-cut black dress, black nylons and sexy heels she was wearing. I was shocked when I went to pick her up, because I was in a simple button down shirt and slacks. I had my long hair pulled back in a pony tail. She looked so nice; I thought I would need to be in tux to match up with her. She received many appreciative glances in the restaurant and more than a few of the guys nodded to me and smiled. Little did they know the beautiful woman sitting across from me was my cousin! We had a great time talking and laughing. I'd always loved watching her big green eyes sparkle when she laughed.
After we finished dinner, Janie suggested we take a drive out by our grandparent's old house in the country. It was always a great place to just lay back and look at the stars. We had spent many summer evenings out there growing up, so it was a special place for us. We parked out by the old barn and then laid back on the grass on a blanket I was lucky to have brought. We rested there in silence for a long time before she finally spoke.
"You remember the day I fell through the hay loft?"
"How could I forget? I almost had heart attack, since we weren't supposed to up there."
"Me too, I still can't believe that you were able to catch me, before I fell."
"Me neither, it had to be sheer adrenaline. I was scared Uncle Rick would beat me to death if you got hurt."
"Yeah, he would have been so pissed at you." "If I'd have survived, I'd had to face my dad and Granddad too."
"There's no way you would have lived." We both laughed.
"It's certainly not the same out here without Granddad and Grandmother is it?"
"No, it isn't. It feels so lonely."
"Yeah."
"I have so many good memories of this place. So many of them were with you."
"Yeah, I feel the same way, Janie." "Brad, I'm really going to miss you." Her hand found mine in the darkness as we lay there.
"I'm going to miss you, too."
"You've always been my best friend."
"Me too."
"Brad, there's a big part of me that doesn't want to go tomorrow."
"I know, Janie. I feel the same way."
"You do?" She rose up on her side so she could look at me.
"Yeah, of course."
"I just feel like I'm going to be all alone."
"Chris will be there with you."
"I know, but he's so flighty sometimes. You're always the one I've come to, and could count on. You've always caught me and helped me back up."
"I know honey, but you love Chris, right? He should be able to help you with the hard times."
"Not like you can, though." She leaned over and wrapped her arm around me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her as well. After a while, I began to move my arms to let her go.
"No, don't. I won't be able to get a hug from you for a long time. Just a little while longer."
"Ok, Janie. It'll be ok, sweetie. You can call me every day on my company phone. Dad and Rick already said it'd be ok."
"It still won't be the same."
"No it may not, but not all change is bad, Janie."
"No, I guess not."
She released her hold on me and sat up next to me. "Brad, I want you to know that I love you and you mean the world to me." She reached down and took my right hand in hers. She held it in her lap for a brief moment. Then she slowly lifted it upwards and towards her. She placed my hand palm down on her bare breasts at the top of her dress. I thought I could feel her heart beating.
"Janie, you know I feel the same way."
"Brad, I don't know how to tell you this..." Her voice became halting as she spoke the last few words.
"Tell me what?"
"Brad, I..." She started to cry. I sat up and reached over to comfort her. She literally collapsed in my arms.
"Janie, honey. What's wrong?" She shook her head on my shoulder. "Please, tell me. What's bothering you?"
"I, I don't think I can." Her voice was muffled as she buried her face against my shoulder.
"You've always been able to talk to me. What is it?"
"Brad, I don't know if I can tell you this. I don't know if I should even try. I'm scared even thinking about it." I reached down to lift her head up where I could see her face. I could clearly see her tear-streaked face in the moonlight.
"Janie, you can tell me anything in the world."
"No, I don't think I can. Maybe some other time Brad. Just hold me for a little while." I did and I began to run my fingers through her hair.
"I always loved when you do that. You're so good to me."
