Suddenly I am awake, but I am not sure why. Laying still in the luxurious queen sized bed, I hold my breath as my eyes adjust in the darkness and listen for a hint of what woke me. The steady breathing coming from beside me confirms that I was the only one roused by whatever it is. Not hearing anything immediately I lower my legs over the side of the bed and tip toe down the hallway, noticing the cooler winter feel in the house. Sighing I realize I am under dressed to be out wandering through the house this time of the night. That's when I hear him again from the other side of the house, my step son.
Not wanting to impose but also concerned I head to his room and listen only hearing silence. I knock quietly. "Are you ok?'" I whisper opening the door. He is sitting up in bed holding his knees and I can only imagine what is going through his troubled mind. His head turns acknowledging my presence and he nods to the bed so I sit down beside him.
Our relationship has always been respectfully appropriate, accepting of each other with kindness and appreciation. He is a beautifully brilliant young man, dark skinned, jet black hair, having seemed to lived and survived a lifetime in his short years. He is not big on words and our long, in depth conversations have been few and far between despite my attempts to reach out to him over the years. I respect his choices and have allowed him his space.
As we sit there in silence I reach out and rest my hand on his shoulder and his dark eyes look directly at me. I feel him shaking and I see loneliness in the depths of his eyes. My heart sinks and my maternal instincts kick in. I rise moving closer and pull him into my arms, caressing his hair. Neither of us say a word, sitting there in the darkness. Finally his shaking subsides. He is still in my embrace and comforting him feels so natural I wonder why this is the first time he has allowed it to happen.
"Will you please hold me until I fall asleep?" he asks in a very low quiet tone as if fearing rejection. "Of course I will," I say with a smile. "I don't want you to be cold" he says with concern, then looking down he pulls back the covers on his bed and scoots over a bit. I am feeling something I haven't experienced with him before. I am drawn to him. I climb in and lay back into his pillows. He rests his leg over my thigh and his head on my chest so I can continue to caress his hair. I cannot see his face but I imagine his view, even in the low light, is that of my well-endowed bosom. I feel his breath on my cleavage and he sighs audibly, relaxing and comforted in my arms, we both fall asleep.
The next morning I awaken with a start, still in my step son's bed, to a cup of coffee being handed to me by his father. "Thanks for comforting him last night. He told me you helped him to calm down after another one of those nightmares. He was actually smiling today when he left for his classes, like he used to, so long ago."
"Oh?" I respond, "that is wonderful to hear!"
Smiling I try to hide my slight confusion, wondering why I am not being questioned for being found in his son's bed. He rests his hand on mine, "I know we haven't been doing well for a long time, but please know I do still appreciate you, and anything you can do for my son... well you have my blessing. I have been so afraid of losing him."
