My First (time) Taboo

So since last I wrote I have been trying my best to get Lyndsey interested in not only doing something with me again, but also Denise, and to no avail. So as the weekend approached my mom said she wanted to come down to us instead. I didn't complain since she offered to take us all out to eat on Saturday.

During the week Denise never slept in our room as I think she doesn't want Lyndsey to know we are now in some weird relationship, but Friday night she did stay late with us and the three of us had amazing sex. On Saturday my mom showed up around eleven and Jess and I talked with her in our room. I mean we kissed as soon as we were behind closed doors, but nothing serious. Denise came down around noon and she was dressed so sexy. My mom could barely keep her hands off her and I wanted to touch her to, ha.

We all went out to eat and it was really fun and she said she'd take us out for dinner too. That afternoon we all went shopping at the mall, and my mom even bought some things for all of us, but not much. I did get this cute pair of shoes, though I doubt anyone on here cares about that.

That night my mom slept in my room and she had sex with Jessica, Denise, and I. We were much more mild compared to the weekend before and no toys were involved, but the sex was still good. Denise didn't sleep with us. She went to her room and my mom teased her about Lyndsey when she left.

After Denise left my mom became very snuggly and she wanted to hold me and Jessica a lot. It was nice and I enjoyed rubbing up against her enormous breasts, but I wondered why the sudden change. I also found myself feeling very comfortable with her one minute and then feeling almost jealous when she'd be kissing Jessica. I was getting confused again.

Our beds are just normal twin size at school so we couldn't all sleep together so my mom suggested that she sleep alone and that Jessica and I sleep together. I would have done that too, but Jessica said that she sleeps with me every night and that my mom and I should sleep together. My mom thought she was so sweet and so without looking like the bitch I just agreed. It was actually nice sleeping with my mom. We kissed quiet a bit and I sucked her breasts a lot and she rubbed my clit to orgasm for my third time that night. Jessica was actually asleep at the time, and I'm glad because I think I would have felt uncomfortable. The fact that I did was strange for me, because I have always felt comfortable even turned on at the idea of being watched while having sex. Now suddenly I wanted sex with my mother to be private.

My mom didn't stay long on Sunday. She did take a shower at school and I went down with her in the morning. She asked if I would shower with her and even though I slipped in for a bit and we kissed for a bit, I soon went to my own shower stall for fear that we would get caught. But when we dried off my mom grabbed one of her own breasts and started sucking it, and she didn't even realize that someone else had since come into the bathroom and was just around the corner at the sink. Luckily I saw her and told my mom to stop before she was seen.

When my mom got back to the room she got dressed packed up and told us to tell Denise goodbye for her and I thought that was really weird. Not sure, but I'm thinking this four way relationship is hard for more than just me and I'm actually hoping my mom doesn't come down to visit anymore.

Denise of course was hurt that my mom had not said goodbye, but she didn't seem to dwell on it, that I noticed. I'm not going to bore you with the next week, because mostly there was just lots of studying and actually not much sex, although I did come home and found Denise and Jessica in bed together one afternoon. I wasn't even jealous, and they both attacked me when I got in the door and wow did they please me. I ended up doing a sixty-nine with Jessica while Denise fucked my ass with a strap-on. I really went crazy on Jessica's clit rubbing it between my lips and licking it as fast as I could and Jessica orgasmed so hard and I just kept eating her and she squirmed like crazy. But with us both on top of her she just couldn't get away. She started squealing and asking me to stop, but for some reason I just kept going and she was slapping my ass and wiggling underneath me, but I held her tight and made her cum again. This time she just convulsed and moaned so loud and I didn't even give a shit if anyone heard us.

When we were done Jessica was so relaxed and she just wanted to touch me and hold me, and as Denise and I talked, Jessica fell asleep. Denise and I talked for a long time before the conversation centered on Lyndsey and I told her I had been flirting with her a lot. Denise told me she had as well and that they had stayed up late talking the night before and that Denise almost kissed her, but had been too afraid to make the move.

I suggested that we go to her room and flirt with each other in front of Lyndsey or even kiss and see how she reacts. Denise was excited about that so we did. When we got there though, Lyndsey was not there so the two of us just talked and listened to music. We ended up kissing and fondling each other a little and I enjoyed it so much. Denise asked me if I ever wished that we had never gotten involved with her mom and that it was just the two of us. I was surprised and couldn't even answer right away, but I finally just said, "Sometimes." I told her that last weekend I had come to the conclusion that I could be happy with the three of them, but that this weekend had felt awkward and that I was getting confused again.

Denise joked with me that I would end up leaving them all again and sooner or later date someone new and then end up right back with them. I know she was joking, but it actually hurt me and I started wondering if she was right.

When Lyndsey came back I didn't even feel like flirting with Denise. I was looking at Lyndsey and thinking, will I drag her into this twisted relationship next? Will my mom be doing her soon? Is my mom using me to have sex with younger girls? I suddenly felt trapped and as usual confused.

Nothing happened that night and Denise could tell I was upset, and she apologized, but I told her I was just tired. That weekend I told Denise that I was going to stay here at school and work on Lyndsey and that I wanted her to take Jessica home to my mom. Both Jessica and Denise were fine with it, and they left late on Friday. I actually wasn't even sure if I wanted to see Lyndsey that weekend. I did want to be with her, but I also didn't want to drag her into an unhealthy relationship.

Ironically she walked by and saw me sitting in my room and came in to talk. We ended up just talking for ever and I didn't hit on her at all. Now I'm not saying I'm falling for her, but Lyndsey is a wonderful person and I just adore her. And sure she is incredibly beautiful and has the perfect body and all that, but I got to know her on a whole new level that night and we are now very close.

I think the fact that I didn't try anything with her shocked (and possibly even disappointed her) and when I told her I was ready for bed, she actually thought I meant with her and looked so confused, but then when she realized that I meant I was just tired, she was so embarrassed, and I laughed so hard and felt horrible, but couldn't help myself. Then she told me she had loved spending time with me and asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her tomorrow or something and I said yes. There was a moment at the door when I almost thought we'd kiss and then nothing happened. I sat in bed just laying there thinking for so long wondering what I wanted in life. I'd be a fool for giving up Jessica or Denise or my mom for that matter, but even more so for throwing them ALL away, and yet here I was again thinking about being with just one girl. The problem was I didn't know who that one girl should be.

The next day I showered and masturbated in the shower. I haven't done that in the shower for a while, but I just felt so relaxed and while rubbing soap on my body I just started to enjoy myself and it happened. I started sucking my own breasts at first and then I was fingering myself. I heard other girls talking outside my stall and just thinking about them watching me and I was cumming hard. I went back to my room and just lay in bed and played with myself some more. I was so horny and I used a dildo on myself.

I ended up not getting over to Lyndsey's room until about almost one o'clock. When I did there were two other girls there. One of the girls was a girl that doesn't like me because I'm a lesbian, but today she seemed nicer than usual and soon I found out that these two were coming with us on our shopping trip. I wasn't thrilled at first, but we ended up having a great time and I actually really liked being with all of them.

When we got back those girls disappeared though and again Lyndsey and I ended up just talking for a couple of hours. We ate supper together and then ended up going to different rooms, but within an hour she was down in my room again. I was actually very excited to see her and I just couldn't stop smiling and I felt stupid, but just couldn't help how I was feeling.

But then she started talking to me about the day we had sex and I knew she was wanting to again. Part of me didn't want to even do anything with her, because I was really just enjoying our friendship, but as she started flirting with me and obviously trying to get me to look at her chest I was practically drooling for her and it was hard not to make a move. So I told myself if she made the first move I would do something and if not I wouldn't touch her.

The night seemed to last forever. And we talked a lot about sex and our bodies and I think she was just as hot for me as I was for her. So then she starts talking about how Denise was acting more strangely with her and how she had the feeling that Denise wanted to kiss her the other night. I sort of ignored that and brought up how they had used to kiss when they were younger to practice kissing. Lyndsey admitted that it had turned her on to feel Denise's breasts against her and how she used to masturbate some nights after they had kissed.

So I started getting very hot and I had to change the subject for fear I couldn't control myself. But it wasn't long before she started asking me about fantasies I have. So I told her about how I like being watched and how I would like a room of girls to watch me get fucked from behind with a strap-on dildo. She couldn't believe it, but it didn't seem to disgust her at all, in fact she seemed to be getting excited about it. So I asked her what fantasy she had.

Lyndsey wasn't quick to answer and even told me she really didn't have any fantasies, but she finally admitted that she had also fantasized about having sex in a public place although she had always pictured it being with a guy. I was disappointed about the gender, but excited that she had thoughts like that at all.

My nipples were getting so hard and I stuck my hand up my shirt and started rubbing them and Lyndsey started biting her lip as she watched me. So I said, "We could masturbate in front of one another."

Lyndsey didn't answer right away, but she stared at me so intently, and finally said, "Or we could masturbate somewhere crazy."

I was so shocked I almost couldn't say anything, but I said, "Where?"

And she suggested the library.

The whole way there we kept looking at each other and laughing. We went up to the fourth floor and found a table way out of the way. She sat down in a chair right away and at first I sat next to her, but then I sat on the table in front of her. I'll be honest I was more terrified than excited.

The first thing I did though was put my hands down my pants, but she surprised me and lifted her shirt and bra and started rubbing her nipples. I wanted to attack her so bad. Her breasts are the most beautiful I have ever seen in my life. They are as big as my mom's, but they are just more round and full and perky. They almost seem unreal.

I ended up slipping my pants down and showing her my pussy and rubbing myself with my feet up on the table. She watched me and finally started touching her own pussy. It didn't take me long to cum, and after I did I pulled my pants up fast and then began rubbing my breasts as I watched her finish.

When I started sucking my own nipple, she asked me to suck hers. So I looked around for the longest time and then leaned over her and started sucking her nipples. She climaxed immediately. It was almost funny. And she pulled her shirt down so fast that I barely had a chance to touch her. She was suddenly different. Like she was scared and wished she had never come with me to the Library. She couldn't wait to leave, but I pulled her behind a book case and started kissing her. At first she tried to talk, but I just started kissing her hard and she finally got into it and kissed me back. Afterwards she stared at me so cute, and I yanked her hand and we walked down to the elevator. We kissed again in the elevator, just up until the doors opened and when we saw people waiting, even though they hadn't seen us she just started laughing. It was such a nervous laugh, but I just found her so irresistible right then, I wanted to kiss her again in the middle of the busy library entrance, but I just yanked her by the hand again and we went out.

It was dark on the way home and she didn't even want to hold my hand, but I kissed her on the cheek in the parking lot just outside our dorm and thanked her. She smiled at me and then said, maybe we should go in separately to the dorm. I was kind of hurt honestly, but I said, "Ok."

So Denise and Jessica told me all about their weekend when they got back on Sunday. They wished I had been there and Denise wanted to know how I came along with Lyndsey, but I just told her we talked a lot and nothing happened. (Sort of the truth.)

Two days later I saw Lyndsey with a guy in her room and on Wednesday they were holding hands. I was shocked and disappointed and Denise was too. Denise told me they were dating and I was surprised that Lyndsey didn't tell me herself.

So now I am in limbo. I think I am getting tired of being with more than one girl again (I know I am a head case). Just a couple weeks ago, I was completely fine with being with three girls and now I am thinking I want something different again. Maybe it's my hormones.

I don't want to break up with Jessica, but I don't want to have orgies very day either. I'm still confused about having feelings for my mom, plus now I think I have feelings for Lyndsey more than just sexual, and I don't want to share her.

UPDATE: I made out with Lyndsey again later this last week and it was amazing and I was about to tell her how I felt about her when she freaks out on me. She likes this boy, but likes me too, but thinks it's wrong that she likes me, right?

I told the girls I am going to go home this weekend and I'd like to just be alone with my mom. They are cool with it. I'm going to tell my mom everything and see what she thinks.

If anyone else has advice I'd love some, and please be serious.

Lucy