My longtime crush Susie, and my sister Marcia
This is my entry into the 2021 April Fool's Day Contest. Your votes (via stars) and comments will be much appreciated.
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FRIDAY
Bruce was just a bit incredulous. Why he should have been, was a bit of a mystery. After all, he'd known Susie for years, they went to elementary, junior high, and high school together. Her family lived right next door to his, and yet they rarely saw each other. Susie had been the long-time girlfriend of his best friend Bill. They always enjoyed each other's company, but having Susie cold call him, during vacation, just seemed strange.
Of course, it could have been a different Susie; he did know three of them, after all. His little sister Marcia wrote the memo for him, however, and she put a little heart as her dot over the letter "i", and that meant it was Susie Case. She was the only Susie his sister Marcia would write with a tiny heart. It was one of Marcia's myriad ways she liked to tease Bruce. Yes, there was no question it was his longtime heart throb, Susie Case, who had called Bruce, out of the blue. He knew Susie and Bill had split when they each went off to different colleges. He also knew Susie had no romantic or sexual interest in him, Bruce.
Why did Susie call him? He went through all the possibilities in his head, and none of them clicked. "Aren't you going to call Susie back? I told her you would," Marcia said, smiling a teasingly evil little grin.
"Yes, of course. I'll use my cell. In my room," Bruce said.
Bruce called Susie back. Marcia listened in at the closed door of Bruce's room. "Do you still take pictures 24/7?" Susie asked.
"No, college makes me work. Now it's more like 22/6. I take Sundays off. Sometimes," Bruce replied, listening to Susie's fetching giggle in reply.
"Well, I'd like to hire you for some photography work," Susie said. "What are your rates, these days?"
It was a good question. Bruce had been obsessively taking pictures since the age of five years old, and he had become a known photographer, with some of his work shown in art galleries, and occasionally someone would even buy a print! He learned not to charge too much, but more importantly, not to charge too little. It was important for Bruce to sell prints of his art, because that made all of his camera equipment expenses tax deductible, as a money-losing photographer.
"For you, Susie, it's free. What kind of photography are you looking for?" Bruce asked.
"Meet me at Starbucks in half an hour, and I'll explain. Sorry to be mysterious, but it's too embarrassing to discuss over the phone, especially with your sister Marcia listening in," Susie said. Bruce chuckled to himself. Susie had Marcia pegged.
Bruce thought Susie looked even prettier than he remembered. She'd had her long hair cut and styled, and her blue eyes shone as if they were themselves little LED light bulbs. Her high cheekbones stood out when she smiled, and she gave Bruce a dazzling smile when she entered the Starbucks and saw him sitting there with a coffee and a sweet roll. Bruce noticed that Susie's always dynamite figure had, if anything, improved with college life. Bill had always raved about Susie in bed when they were in high school, and while it was impossible for Bruce to tell, Bruce would bet big money that men were not ignoring Susie in college, either.
It didn't take long, after a bit of small talk, for Susie to mention her boyfriend at college, effectively killing Bruce's fantasies about why she had called him. He let Susie set the agenda, since she had said her request was embarrassing. Eventually, she got around to it.
"My boyfriend Doug wants some pictures of me to get him through the lonely times, since our schools are now online," she began. Bruce waited. "You know, one's to help him get through his loneliness." He still didn't help her. Exasperated, she blurted, "You know, Bruce, sexy pictures."
They each waited for the other to speak next. Susie was going to outwait him, and she was already blushing. "What kind of sexy?" Bruce asked.
"He wants a picture of me topless," she whispered.
"You mean, wearing just your bra?" Bruce asked. He didn't whisper back.
"Oh, that would be clever. It's not what he means, but it would be fun to start with that!" she said.
"To start with?" he asked.
"Oh c'mon, Bruce. Once I give him his first request, do you seriously think he'll not ask for more?" she replied.
"Well, I don't know the man. I do know, however, that in his place, I would."
"Exactly."
"But Susie, where do I come in? The time-honored way to send a boyfriend sexy pictures of that ilk, is to go into the bathroom, lock the door, and take a selfie with your phone. You don't need me," Bruce said.
"Of course, I've tried that. The results are horrible. If I'm going to do this, I want to look pretty in the pictures. If you take them, I will. I'm sure of it," she said.
"I'll get to see you topless, too," he said, giving her his most lascivious smile.
"Yes, there's that, I suppose. It can't be helped. So, you'll help me?" Susie asked. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.
"I'd love to see you topless, Susie; you must know I think you're gorgeous and I've long had a crush on you," Bruce began, being disarmingly frank.
"You've never even asked me out," Susie said. "I had no idea." Bruce didn't believe her. She had to know he's adored her, literally, for years.
"Bill's my best friend, and you were his girl," Bruce explained.
Susie nodded, showing comprehension. "Well, now I'm not." Susie paused, allowing her words to sink in. Bruce didn't know what to think. "Will you help me, then?"
"Why did you break up with Bill, anyway?" Bruce asked, avoiding her question.
"He didn't tell you? You're his best friend," she replied.
"He refused to talk about it. He was always on the verge of tears when the subject of you came up," Bruce replied.
"Maybe those things are better left unsaid. Anyway, will you help me with the pictures?" Susie asked.
"No. Sorry."