Jan and I fell in love as soon as we saw one another. We were high school sweethearts. Her long black hair reflected light like a mirror. Her eyes were so dark they were almost black. They were so alive and so expressive that they made my heart jump every time I looked at her. Her personality was bubbly and compassionate. She had a killer body and a mind to match. She could solve complex problems on second and the next is screwing my brains out all night. We married right out of high school and our daughter was born less than a year later. She was my rock. She was my heart and soul. She had given me everything I had ever wanted, including our daughter, Beth. There was only one problem. She died last year. She was coaching a girls basketball team at our church and had a massive heart attack during practice. The autopsy showed that her heart was malformed, probably since birth.
It has been over a year since Jan left me. Our daughter, Beth, was seventeen when she died. She had the horror of watching her mother die, as she was part of the team. To say we were both devastated would be the understatement of the millennium. I must say that Beth has recovered much quicker than I have. She seems to be back to her normal self, while I am still dejected and depressed most of the time. My problem was that I couldn't face the fact that she was gone. Beth immersed herself in trying to replace her mother. This seems to have worked for her. She does all the things that her mother did around the house. She does the laundry and the dishes. She even organizes the meals for the week like her mom used to do, although she hasn't quite got cooking down, yet. But then again, neither did her Mom when we first married. Beth is getting better though. We sat at the dinner table one night. Beth had just outdone herself on dinner. I glanced at her quickly. I saw her mother. I began to cry. "Daddy, why are you crying?" she asked.
"I'm sorry Honey, but sometimes I look at you and I can see your mother. You look so much like her." I said. She walked to me and put her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
"I miss her a lot," she said. I hugged her back.
"Yea, me too. But I have you and I'm going to be just fine." I said.
"Daddy, do you remember when we used to go do things like go see a baseball game or go to the circus? She asked.
"Yea, Honey, I do," I answered, "Why?"
"How come we haven't done anything like that for a long time?" she asked. "Well, Beth, I guess it's because I just can't bring myself to do anything without your Mom. We were inseparable since we were in the ninth grade."
"But I think it would help us feel better if we did some of the things we used to do. "I know we'll never have her back, but that shouldn't mean that we have to stop doing the things that we used to like to do, does it?" she asked.
"I don't know Honey, maybe you're right. How about we take in a ball game on Saturday, would you like that?" I said.
"They're on a road trip to Pittsburgh over the weekend," she said.
"You still keep track?" I asked.
"Yea, I never quit." she answered.
"How are they doing?' I asked.
"They're 3 games over .500 and they're in second place in the division.
I decided that Beth was right. "Well, what the hell, Beth. Lets go see them play in Pittsburgh." I said
"Oh, really daddy. Do you mean it?" she said jubilantly.
"Yea, why not. It's only a 6 hour drive. Maybe we'll leave right after I get off work tomorrow and stay in a hotel overnight. Maybe even the whole weekend." I said. She grabbed my neck and hugged me so hard I thought she was going to snap off my head.
"Oh, Daddy, we'll have the best time, you'll see. I just know it." she said. I agreed. "I'll pack the bags while you're at work tomorrow so we can leave as soon as you get here, OK." she said.
"That's a good idea. Especially the part about you doing the packing. I always forget something major. I once packed my own suitcase for a business trip to Miami and forgot to pack underwear. So I'm really glad you'll be doing the packing." I said. She laughed. I went to bed that night and for the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to the next day. I slept like a baby.
The day seemed to drag more than usual that Friday. I was really anticipating the trip with Beth. But finally, it was time to clock out and head home. Traffic was unusually light. It was like God saying, "You need this. Here, I'll make it easier for you." I made it home in fifteen minutes instead of the usual 35 or 40 minutes. When I arrived, our bags were packed and sitting by the front door. Beth heard me come through the door and ran to meet me. "Hi, Daddy, how was your day?" she asked, just like her Mom used to
"Excruciatingly long, Honey, but it's finally over" I said. "Do you have everything we need?" I asked.
"Yea, I think so I didn't forget your underwear, I know that" she said smiling. I laughed. I knew she had gotten everything together. I didn't doubt it for a second
"Well, let's go to Pittsburgh." I said. I grabbed the bags and threw them into the back of the car. It was a beautiful summer day and I put the top down on the car and we hit the interstate. Beth told me that she called the post office and asked them to hold the mail until Monday. I would have never thought of that But her mother would have. She fell asleep about an hour into the trip. We were just crossing the Pennsylvania border when she awoke. "Where are we?" she asked.
