Author's note: Ok, Ok. I'll throw you dirty perverts a bone. We are just getting started. Easing into it.
Chapter 3: Home with the Tannens
When I walked through the door, dinner was almost ready. The perfect American suburban household. Please kill me now. Except Tara crawling around on the couch, trying to get comfortable. I swear there is just something totally sexual about her movements...slow, deliberate, sensual. I think she sensed I was watching her because she looked up just as I thought some of my own impure thoughts. She blushed a little too.
It was time for the rituals. We all sat at the dinner table and ate. The goal of the dinner ritual was to eat without saying anything that might betray a failure to love God. We were doing fine. Work, volunteering to feed the homeless, and loving God came up. Subjects that never came up included, sin, masturbation, lusting for your younger sister, what happened to your other two sisters, and above all, the ultimate taboo, Mom. I knew next to nothing about my real mother, except that we never mentioned her and she abandoned me as a child. Dad literally never mentioned anything else about her. Ever.
After the dinner ritual, there is the ritual of watching wholesome entertainment. Usually a televangelist or some tape on "spiritual enlightenment." Ordinarily I would try to get out of it but I knew Tara was trying to outlast the ritual and I stayed to watch the show. Sure enough, around 10 pm, the old folks had enough. 3 hours of PTL had me praying to go to Hell but it was worth it. Tara was squirming ten times worse than I was and looked like she was going out of her mind. Tara would have to wait until they not only went to bed but fell asleep.
And then there was avoiding me. Tara never explicitly told me I couldn't watch a movie with her before but she rarely invited me or watched them while I was awake. Sometimes. I gave her privacy and used the time for...my own hobbies. I suppose I did have some fantasy where she just super turned on and gratifies herself to the movies. But I never believed she would dare something like that in the living room. She had as much to risk for that behavior as I did. And her hardware store gig wasn't paying the rent. Still Tara is capable of anything.
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Around midnight, I heard Tara leave her room. This was the "check to make sure the old people were asleep ritual." Amazingly, Tara was able to sneak into their room and check them undetected. Out cold. She really should have been a ninja rather than a hardware specialist. She met me in the living room standing with my hands on my hips and a smile on my face.
"I thought they would never go to sleep."
Tara smiled slyly. "Me neither. So when are you going to join them."
"Can't I watch the movie with you?" I pulled out the puppy dog again but knew I couldn't over play my hand.
Tara was less moved this time but couldn't refuse me since I got her the movie to begin with. "Fine." She huffed. "But you will have to keep it down." She pointed her finger at me.