"Do I need to go into hiding?" Rick asked.
I laughed. "No, because I didn't end up telling them."
"What happened?"
"Well, I told 'em I'd been keeping a secret about my dating life, and they guessed that I'm a lesbian."
"You didn't tell them the truth?" he asked.
"It's the truth; I do like girls. The fact that I'm fucking my brother doesn't change that."
Rick chuckled, "Hard to argue with that."
I wanted to laugh, but I needed to keep a straight face so I could tell him the next thing. "Get this. Mom said she still expects me to give them grandchildren."
Rick didn't laugh. "Okay, I've heard other parents with a gay kid say the same thing."
"That's not the funny part. What she meant was that she expects one or both of us to do it, and somewhere in there I think she used the words, 'you and Rick.' She was so close to the truth that I had to hide in my room so they wouldn't see me laughing."
"Close to the truth? You mean it happened?"
It took me a second to realize what he meant. "What? No! And even if I were pregnant, this was the same day I got back from our weekend. I wouldn't have known by then."
I could imagine Rick slapping his forehead as he said, "Oh, right. I forgot the time frame."
"So, when do you wanna get together again?" I asked. "I've got a test this Monday, so I wanna spend Sunday studying."
"I don't know when I'll have time," Rick said.
"Okay, I'll let you know if I have an easy weekend coming up."
"That sounds like a good idea," he answered. "Anything else?"
"No, I just thought you should know everything's cool," I told him.
"Talk to you later, then," he said.
His tone at the end bothered me. He didn't call or text for a week, so I sent him a message. "Something wrong?"
"You lied about the IUD. I don't know if I can trust you."
"I already told you. I planned on it; I just didn't follow through."
"You told me we didn't need a condom!"
"And I explained it was b/c I wanted it to feel you coming inside me, like nature intended."
Two weeks went without a reply. I almost failed a test because I was so upset at the thought of losing him. Despite my own insistence, there was kind of an inconsistency between claiming I'm a lesbian and screwing my brother. I was back on campus, so I made an appointment with a counselor. In the meantime, I needed to think of something I could do to win Rick back. I got news from home that didn't seem relevant at first, but then I had an idea that made the knowledge seem like a gift from heaven.
***
The return address was Mom and Dad's, but I recognized the handwriting as Marissa's. I opened the cushioned envelope to find a DVD. In magic marker, she'd written, "Miss me?" (Those of you who watch
Sherlock
will know why I panicked briefly!) I ordered a pizza, paid some bills online and then put the disc in my computer. A video began playing. Marissa was there along with our cousin Renée, each in her own chair. It took me a moment to figure out they were in Renée's bedroom in her parents' house. Marissa greeted me. "Hi, Jeff! This is my cousin--" My middle name is Jeffrey.
Renée interrupted Marissa to say, "Josie." Her first name is Josephine, but she usually uses Renée, her middle name. "Happy birthday, Jeff!"
Marissa continued, "And we have a present for you." This was in September, and my birthday is in April. An on-screen text explained, "I told her this was for my boyfriend, which is close enough to the truth. She assumed I meant a birthday present. I let her think that, so she won't figure out who's really watching it." While the text was up, Marissa said, "Josie and I were reminiscing about the sleep-overs we used to have with the rest of our cousins." There was a squiggly-line dissolve, and the new scene was in the same room, but now they were sitting on Renée's bed. Marissa was wearing a pink sheer lace nightgown, and Josie wore a nightshirt that was a replica of a Tony Romo football jersey.
"I'm so glad you came over, Marissa," Josie said.
"Me too," Marissa answered. "We haven't done this in ages."
"I don't think we've done it since Judy enlisted," Josie recalled. (Judy and Renée are both a year younger than me, and Judy joined the Army a couple years ago.)
"We used to have so much fun. I remember when we braided each other's hair."
"We did more than braid it," Josie said. "One time we went out beforehand and bought hair color sets. I went blue and--hey, you're still wearing that shade of black."
"What can I say, I liked it. What color did Judy choose?"
Josie thought for a moment and said, "She's a redhead, but I think she just added a white streak. I still have a picture somewhere around here." She moved over to a desk, and I could tell that Marissa had moved the camera so it almost kept up with her.
Marissa moved back into the right side of the picture and asked, "You remember what else we used to do?"
Josie looked up and started to ask, "What?" Before she could finish the word, Marissa hit her in the face with a pillow. Josie chased her out of the picture. (At this point, you can probably figure where the edits were necessary, so I'll skip them.)
The girls were in front of Josie's bed, hitting each other with pillows, and Marissa went to the floor. She got up and said, "Hey! You ripped my nightgown!" She got up and sat on the bed.
Josie sat next to her and said, "Let me take a look." The strap had broken. Josie held up each side in one hand and said, "Yeah, I sure did. I'm real sorry about that. I'm pretty sure I've got a spare you can wear." When they stood up, Josie reached down to the hem of Marissa's nightgown and lifted it over her head. Marissa was wearing a microscopic pair of underwear and no bra. "Well, you've certainly developed since the last time we did this," Josie said.
Marissa put her hand on Josie's waist and traced her hip. "So have you!"
"How can you tell?" Josie asked.
Marissa lifted the side of Josie's jersey, exposing her hip and buttock to the camera. Josie wasn't wearing any underwear. "It got caught on the bed post when you were helping me lay out my sleeping bag."
"Did you see anything else?" Josie asked.
