Many thanks to Mericeman1964 for his invaluable assistance and editorial input, without his help this story would not have been possible
BB1958
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Excerpt from the private diary of Nguye't Morrison, age 18 and three-quarters. Note to Jamie; if you read any of this, I swear I will put a bend in your knob that no amount of wanking will ever straighten out; you have been warned...
Tuesday 1st July, 2008
Jamie's coming home tomorrow, at last. He left me desolate 3 years ago, and I want to snub him, cut him dead for abandoning me, but all I can do is tremble at the thought of having him back again. He's been my protector, my favourite source of comfort and big hugs all my life, and when he left I was bereft (look it up, I've been waiting for years to use it), and I haven't stopped crying yet; I know, weird, right? He's my older brother, but he feels like the love of my life, and for the last three years there's been a huge blank space where he should be; every time I thought of him, I burst into tears, and I thought about him every day. When he comes home I'm going to play it cool, be aloof, casual, let him know that going away for so long is almost unforgiveable, that you don't make someone need you so much and then leave them.
My friend Shelagh Kennedy asked me if I was in love with him, 'cos apparently I talk about him all the time, and of course, I pooh-pooh'd the very idea, told her she was weird and perverted for even thinking such a thing, and she said the strangest thing. "OK then, if you're not going to bang him, do you mind if I do? Every time I've ever seen him he's given me a twinge in my minge, and now I know you're not going to, as far as I'm concerned that makes him fair game for a work-out!"
I asked her what she meant, and she got all disbelieving on me, started going on about how he's a tall, built, mega-cute, oil exploring, rugged polar-hero type, a real arctic fox, and she'd like a chance to check if he got frostbite anywhere important, and if he's built up a full head of pressure, she'd like to be the one to be there when he blows his cork, and if I had eyes and a brain I'd have decoyed him down a dark alley years ago; apparently all my friends think the same thing...
I had to think about that, I mean, Jamie? I know one thing though; I've always had a sort of low-key thing for him (or maybe not so low-key, I don't know), even got all possessive of him at one point, but that's because he's mine, and he belongs to me, exclusively, and if that red-headed harlot thinks she's getting her slutty little mitts on my lovely Jamie she's got another think coming; I must keep her corrupting influence away from him!
Must think more about this, things are happening in my head that I don't want to write down in case I accidently leave this open one day and dad or mum see this.
Wednesday 2nd July, 2008
Jamie will be home this afternoon, and the suspense is killing me; what were butterflies in my tummy have turned into a herd of rhino's barging around, and I've nearly been sick on any number of occasions. Coupled with that is the fact I can't seem to stop weeping, every time I open my mouth or think of trying to do something constructive with my time, I get a picture of his sweet, patient face and the waterworks turn on – I feel like some lovesick 11 year old mooning over a boy-band, and this is really freaking me out. It's only Jamie, for God's sake, and regardless of what I said or thought yesterday, he's my big brother, and yes, I missed him terribly, but why the extreme reactions? Most peculiar; I am definitely conflicted. I think I'll go out, not be here when he gets here, if I see him walk in that door, and the state I'm in right now, God only knows what sort of idiotic shambling wreck I'll turn into – he already left me once, and, heaven forbid, if he sees me sweating and gibbering at him he might do it again, and I can't have that – I'm keeping him here this time, if I have to use a nail-gun and superglue on him.
Mum asked me to be here when Huyn'h gets home, but I really don't trust myself to not either A) Wet myself, B) Get all tongue-tied and idiotic, or C) Fling myself on him and stick my tongue in his face.
I've made up my mind; I won't be here, I'll saunter in all casual and mildly indifferent to his presence, going "Oh Hi, you're back then," peck him on the cheek, enjoy the moment of crushed despair as he realises I haven't missed him in the slightest, and saunter out again. Vengeance is a dish best served cold, and he needs to pay, just a little, for leaving me all alone while he went off to the other side of the world and pretended to be Nanook of the North while contemplating the Great White Waste and mushing seals or whatever the hell it is they do down there for fun.... So I'm off now, I need to shop so I don't think about Jamie and how he abandoned me, and I'm taking the Scarlet Harlot with me so she and her chest don't get any ideas around Jamie while I'm not there....
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