Late Sunday afternoon.
I'd just finished going around with the vacuum cleaner and was just tidying a few loose things when I saw it.
Dan's pen. His favorite pen. A present from our parents when he got a job promotion.
"Dan!"
No answer.
"Dan! I found your pen!"
Nothing.
"Dan!"
No answer still.
I went up to his bedroom door and knocked.
"Dan? Are you in there?"
Not a sound.
"Dan?" I said, knocking again.
I decided to go in and put it by his bed. He'd been quite upset at the thought of losing it.
I turned the handle and pushed open the door.
I'm not sure what I saw first; the laptop, the porn on the laptop, the massive and expensive headphones on my brother's head. Or maybe his naked body stretched out on his bed. Or his cock. Or his hand frantically stroking his cock.
Whichever, I silently backed out the room and shut the door behind me. I put the pen on the coffee table in the living room and went through to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So I'm Sara. I'm twenty four and I share an apartment with my brother, Dan, who is twenty one.
We both have good jobs. I work in law and Dan's in finance. We used to live at home with our parents and younger sister Louise, but as our jobs are in the city center, it was quite tiring commuting every day.
Our father suggested we should get a city center apartment together. We could share it and it would be cheaper than each having our own small place and paying two lots of rent.
When he heard of the idea our Uncle Steve suggested a place in the same block where he lived. We came to have a look. It was perfect.
Fourth storey. Two bedrooms. Open plan living, dining and kitchen. Balcony overlooking the bus station and with views to the river beyond. Right in the city.
So we moved in eighteen months ago. Me and my brother.
A few rules.
Keep it tidy. Share the bills and the chores. Respect privacy.
The last one was important. Always knock on each others' door before entering. The same with the bathroom. If you bring back a boyfriend / girlfriend keep the noise down!
And it worked surprisingly well. Not that we seemed to find time for boyfriends or girlfriends.
In fact we did loads together.
We shared home cooked meals. Went out to bars and clubs together or just rented a movie and chilled at home together.
To my surprise, my brother, who I hadn't been that close to growing up, became like a best friend.
Our parents got into the habit of coming over on saturdays. We would have lunch or dinner or just spend time with them and Louise. Sometimes our eighteen year old sister Louise would call by on her own and spend time with us.
I liked nothing more than sitting out on a summers evening on our balcony. Bottle of wine. Watch the sunset. Chatting with Dan or just sitting in silence.
The only other habit that developed was that we liked to relax on sundays. No visitors. We both had stressful jobs and sunday became a sort of unofficial rest day. A bit of housework but otherwise a day for the two of us to prepare for the hectic week ahead of us.
Of course we got the occasional visitor but we soon made them feel unwelcome.
The only person who didn't get the hint was Uncle Steve. Mum's brother. Estranged brother should I say.
Steve was married to mum's best childhood friend. He cheated. They divorced. She moved away and cut all links with him and his family. So now mum and almost everyone else in the family will have nothing to do with him.
But it was Dan who bumped into him in town one day and mentioned our plans for an apartment. And it was Steve who, in one very tense phone call, told mum of this apartment.
"That's the only drawback," said mum. "Having that man as a neighbor. I bet he'll be round for a free meal every evening."
In fact he wasn't. He lived two storeys below us and we didn't see him much. He called by maybe once every two weeks to see if we were ok and catch up on family gossip. Usually on sunday!
Actually I quite liked him. He seemed lonely. Quiet. Very thoughtful towards us. Helpful. I discovered that most people in the block had only good things to say about him.
Certainly not the monster our parents painted him.
Louise had been brainwashed to absolutely hate the man.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So I continued tidying. About an hour later Dan came out of his room. He was dressed thankfully.
He cooked dinner and we chatted about our plans for the week ahead. We watched tv then headed off to our bedrooms.
But all the time I kept thinking about seeing him masturbating. I'd had lovers. I'd seen my fair share of penises, soft and hard.
There was a man at work, Gavin. Married and thirty years older than me. We had a loose arrangement which involved having sex with each other maybe three or four times a year. Just because... I can't explain it!
So seeing Dan's cock shouldn't mean anything. But it did. It was my brother's cock. And that seemed to mean something.
It seemed to stir a curiosity in me that I couldn't shake.
That night when I went to bed I came with my faithful vibrator. And during the night. And in the morning in the shower. Always thinking about Dan's cock.
We had lived together for a year and a half and there had been nothing. We had grown up and there had been nothing. No curiosity. No feelings beyond that of siblings.
Like most brothers and sisters we probably grew up thinking of the other as not being of the opposite sex, just as family. I never thought of him as sexual in the same way he never thought of me as sexual.
At work I was still not fully focussed on the job. That penis kept appearing in my head. And on monday night.
As I walked into work on tuesday I decided I needed to resolve this situation.
I sat in the canteen and spoke to Gavin, my fuck buddy and confidante. I told him what had happened on sunday and my obsession since.
"So you want to have sex with your brother?" he asked, qiuetly.
"No. No. I don't know."
"What then?"
"I'm not sure."
"What do you want to do?" he asked again, confused.
"I don't know."
"Do you want sex with him or what?" Gavin was getting irritated.
"No. At least I don't think I do. I think...I think... I just want to know if he ever thinks of me in ..you know..in that way."
"Sexually?"
"Yes."
"Does he ever look at your chest? Your ass? You know like I do?" he laughed.
I slapped him playfully.
"No. At least not that I've noticed. I don't know."
"Then test him out. Give him something to notice. Walk around in your underwear or something. See if he notices. If he isn't interested then he isn't interested. At least you'll know."
"Then what?"
"Move on. Find another cock to go mad about. Mine for example."
I smiled.
"What if he does show an interest?" I pondered.
"Then fuck him!"
