Chapter Three - The Escape
I was right, going to Pauls wouldn't solve anything, and it didn't.
The weekend I spent there was one full of distraction and barely cognisant awareness. I was lost in a sea of memories, memories of her.
I could still feel here laughter as I spent myself inside her mouth. I could still see the complete and utter adoration as she looked me in the eyes, a warm hand,
her
warm hand upon my face.
But worst of all, I could still feel the unpleasant and yet somehow very pleasant twisting my stomach was doing at the very thought of her.
She was right, she didn't need to come and try to convince me anymore. My fucked up thoughts were doing that for her. My body ached for her again, to be touched, to be looked at with such love that it nearly made me, a fully grown man weep.
And yet somehow, someway, a small stubborn part of me still had the power to refuse. A part that Sophie and I both shared long before we fucked.
It was screaming at me to defy these fucked up feelings. It was screaming at me to rise up, to show her that I wasn't some lovesick plaything, that I
did
and
could
push my emotions to the side and make a logical, morally approved choice.
And when I got back from Pauls and noticed that Sophie was absent from the house, I made said choice in all of a few moments.
I picked up my phone, I dialled in a number I'd once decided I had no need of. And after a bare few rings passed me by...
"Hello, my name is James. You rang a few months ago about that room you had available down in...yes in that place. Is it still available?"
A few beats passed me by as the man on the other side of the phone ruffled through some sheets.
"It is?!" I exclaimed, wincing as my enthusiasm all but burst out of me. "Sorry, I've just been really looking forward to getting my own place you know. Can't live with my folks forever, they've got lives of their own, right?"
A few chuckles from the man and a promise to email me over the necessary documents was promised, the phone disconnected and I took...a big breath.
And then my heart caught in my chest as I realized two things.
One, I was really going to move out and live by myself.
Two, that I'd have to announce it to both my parents while somehow keeping Sophie out of the loop.
...or did I have to?
Did I have to keep her out of the loop? Where I was going was quite a way aways from my parents home after all. If I just gave a general location as opposed to the exact one, she'd never be able to find me.
And give or take a few months, we'd finally forget all that had happened between us and move on.
Right?
'I have to be right...'
....
....
....
It was later that week that I decided to join my folks downstairs. The familiar smell of fajitas was in the air. I could hear my mom making fun of something my dad had said, but in truth it all became background noise as I entered the dining room and saw my sister sitting at the table.
She didn't turn to face me, not right away. And it was in this brief moment in time that my eyes seemed to take the entirety of her appearance in.
Her curly brown hair seemed to flow down to her shoulders with a kind of mythical ease. Her eyes were dancing with mirth as she watched mom and dad verbally tussle. She wasn't wearing anything spectacular, on the contrary she was simply in her teddy bear pyjamas.
A top and loose bottoms, that was all, a cute ensemble for a cute girl. And yet all I could think of in that moment was how goddamn gorgeous she looked.
And as she turned to face me, her eyes lighting up with a love nobody but me would understand was NOT familial, I felt my body react as it had done all the days since we'd accidentally had sex.
My skin become heated, tingly. My breath eased out of whatever nerves I had as my brain readily took in the obvious adoration she was giving me. My dick went from turtle to chub in all of a second, with the threat of becoming so much more.
"Hey James," she said, a smile on her face as she turned her whole body towards me. A thing that in that moment I doubted she was even aware of.
"H-Hey Sophie," I replied, forcing myself to smile back as the nerves that'd vanished reappeared with the force of a truck. "You alright?"
I noticed it straight away. Her smile, the smile that reached her eyes began to tilt downwards, the joyful light in her eyes dimming.
I don't know how, but she
knew
something was coming. She
knew
I was going to say something that to her, would be truly terrible.
"Peachy," she murmured, her face creased with concern. "Are you alright?"
"Yep."
This time even our parents, if they'd deigned to look at us, would've been able to see the frown on Sophie's face. Hell they'd have probably realized just how bloody nervous I was too.
Thankfully, they were more enamoured with their verbal joust and the cooking than the two of us.
She began to stand up.
"Sit down Sophie," Mom said, an eyebrow raised as she finally looked at the both of us, before shrugging. "Dinner will be ready in two minutes, there's no point going anywhere. You sit down too, James."
"Sure thing, Mom," I muttered, doing my upmost to avoid Sophie's eyes as I mentally prepared myself for what must have been the eighth time.
Eventually the food was served and we all dug in. I was using the tasty distraction to avoid looking at Sophie, but I knew that I could only delay my news for so long.
And so once all was done and we were finished eating did I clear my throat for everybody's attention.
"So um, I got an announcement to make," I began, carefully avoiding Sophie's gaze as I focused on my folks instead. "I've decided that since I've got more than enough in the bank and I'm not exactly getting any younger...to, well, I've decided to move out."
