I wish I could say that things got better between Caleb and I after our romp in the tattoo parlor. Instead, our relationship became nonexistent.
I remembered how he came on me, how he gripped my hips, how he enjoyed me. Most of all I remembered that satisfied look in his eyes.
But afterward it was like Caleb didn't see me at all.
The morning after our encounter, I saw him in the hallway as he was getting ready for work.
"Hey," I said.
He didn't even glance at me; he just threw on his suit jacket and went along his way.
But the worst happened today, at the breakfast table.
Frank gathered Caleb, myself, and the rest of my step-brothers for breakfast like he did every morning. Mom wasn't there. As usual, she made a big show by pretending to cook some bountiful breakfastβthe maid did all the workβthen she was off to spend Frank's money.
Caleb and his brothers talked business with Frank. Their little family empire was the only reason Caleb still lived at home; when he wasn't drinking and fighting in roughneck bars, he functioned as his dad's consigliere, of sorts. Frank liked to keep him close.
After the business talk faded, Caleb decided to lighten the conversation by mentioning his newest conquest.
"You gotta see her dad," Caleb said. "Blonde, perfect chest. And her legs when she wears heels? Outstanding."
"What kind of family does she come from?" Frank grunted.
"Big money, obviously." For the briefest moment, Caleb flicked his eyes toward me. "Classy, unlike some other girls I know."
"That's a relief," Frank said.
Oh yeah, big relief. Frank wouldn't want his eldest son shacked up with some trailer trash gal like myself, right?
Or my mom for that matter. But men like Frank Montgomery could afford to be hypocritical.
I left the table without saying anything. No one noticed.
#
I fled to my room, locked the door, and hoped to get some writing done. I'd been kicking around an idea for a new poem. The problem was, I couldn't get that smug motherfucker out of my head.
I just didn't get it. I wasn't romanticizing our hookup, but it wasn't some hump-and-dump. I felt it in the way he had touched me, how he had held me. There were times when I felt his cock throbbing, about to cum, but he'd held back, made sure I was satisfied. He could have fucked me for five minutes, shot his load onto my back, and called it a day, but he didn't.
I wasn't the most experienced girl when it came to sex, but I knew that meant something.
"Or maybe not," I said to myself, then flopped onto my bed.
I reached for my notebook, grabbed a pen, but I knew writing would be impossible. I had to get Caleb out of my head first. Calm my nerves a little. For that, I'd have to self-hypnotize.
Except my talisman wasn't in my underwear drawer. Inconceivable. Dread crept up my throat. My life might have been in shambles since the day I was born, but since I began my hypnosis, I'd kept that pendant hidden beneath my underwear, the single constant in an otherwise chaotic existence.
Plus, I hadn't touched it since after Caleb fucked me in the tattoo shop, and I specifically recalled putting it back in my underwear drawer that night.
It was just an aide, there was nothing magical about that faux-golden rose, but I couldn't focus without it. I tried in the past, but at best, I'd get myself into a half-assed meditation, which wasn't nearly as effective for my nerves.
I sat on the bed, disgusted, until I was reasonably sure Frank and his sons had left the house. I threw on a black two-piece thong bikiniβhey, nobody was home and damn it, I felt like looking good for onceβthen headed down to the pool.
Along the way, I grabbed the one thing that could calm my nerves almost as well as my hypnosis. Frank was a whiskey enthusiast. With a collection as big as his, he wouldn't miss one bottle of Johnny Walker.
#
If I ever needed a reminder of Frank's wealth, I only had to go out back, where there was an Olympic-sized pool plus
an in-ground Jacuzzi with a mid-sized heated pool attached to that.
I opened the whiskey, swallowed a burning mouthful then sat on a beach chair and thumbed through a book of poetry.