Life was simply crap, how else can I describe what I have become, I'm nothing more than a sad alcoholic, the only thing my life revolves around is found in a bottle.
My first wife died after being run down by a drunk driver, leaving me with two teenage girls, the pain of losing her took a long time to ease and even though I remarried the ache in my heart would often return to haunt me.
My second marriage lasted only a year, Sandy just couldn't cope with my rebellious daughters where as I was laid back about them. Yes they could and did misbehave but isn't that what eighteen year olds do and in time I knew they would grow out of it.
So here I was sat in front of the television a half-empty bottle of Brandy my only company the best painkiller around. Filling my glass once more to the rim I took a long gulp and I relaxed back in my armchair, my eyes closed for just a second and I fell into a disturbed sleep.
I awoke at around 9am the next morning and much to my surprise I found myself in bed, I didn't remember going to bed or getting undressed but then I suppose that's a direct result of being an alcoholic the mind just blanks itself out.
I remember when I was a teenager, going out most nights and getting paralytic drunk and yet like a homing pigeon I always managed to find my way home, it seems it still works as I manage to make it to my bed each night.
The blacking out and not remembering climbing the stairs took a strange twist one night when I drank a lot less than normal simply because I had food poisoning. I fell asleep in my chair and the next morning I wasn't so fuzzy headed and swore that I had been carried up the stairs to bed. I asked my daughters if they had taken me to bed but they both denied it so I put it down to just a dream. The next night it happened again and once more they acted like they didn't know what I was talking about.
I was scared in case I was losing my mind which given the circumstances was not beyond possibility, but I had to find out whether it was the drink causing it or my daughters showing me more care than I deserved.