A week after my sudden, and slightly disturbing, revelation about my oh too hot sister's sexual, um, preferences I was left trying figure what was really going on. Was this some phase that would pass and I would be guilt ridden into sexual dysfunction for the rest of my life? Was it some cruel cosmic plot to ruin an already lack luster sex life? Or should I just be thankful for what happened? Clearly it was all of the above. I was very thankful for two, count 'em two, occasions to put my dick in a girl WAY out of my league. I was guilt ridden. That WAY out my league girl was (is) my sister. On top of that even the few girls at work that made my little soldier come to attention were not as interesting as before. Was it a Joe Dirt thing where some girl would have repeatedly yell she was my sister to keep me hard? And finally, I'm a nerd, well nerdish, and that is a sure fire way to repel bimbos that give blowjobs as a way of saying goodnight after a first date. Coupled with the fact that I was not super nice to my last girlfriend, who did not suck me off on our first, or last date, and my best sexual experience happened with my sister, MY SISTER, means any conversation with a future lady of interest will not include "who was your last" or "who was the best". It is also proof the cosmos is out to get me. And worst of all the only woman I felt more than mild interest beyond the next time I got to fuck was in fact staying in my guest room. And refused to even acknowledge we broke several laws, both federal and moral, in the name of lust.
As I ponder these and other random thoughts I was busy fighting off an alien horde. Now that the zombies were no longer a threat, the world needed my skills to save it from another problem.
I was slaying the lesser aliens when Lynn walked in wearing a very loose oversized shirt and, boxers? No over priced barely there thongs sheer panties that could cause an elderly man to die happy? I was both relieved and disappointed.
She sat beside me and watched. Everything was fine. Until. Until she decided to lean forward and rub her calf. This moment of distraction was all the little insect asshole aliens needed to wound me. But the distraction was a clear view of the most perfect boobs ever. Totally worth the wounded to the shoulder.
As per her normal M.O., Lynn prolonged the act long enough to left me fall into a trace then turn to catch me looking and make some comment about being a perv or how I should go beat off.
Being properly admonished for perving on my sister, I took no mercy on the aliens. Those bastards would suffer as much as my self esteem during high school.
Ten minutes later I was taking a much needed break from alien slaughter. Then the second salvo of sexual frustration was launched. Two perfectly shaped, well tanned legs appeared on my lap. As I tried to control the urge to, do something naughty. She was laying back looking at the ceiling, using me as her footrest, then I saw it, the promised land. The boxers were loose and allowed unblocked views to the smooth pink paradise where the two perfect legs met. I didn't fake not looking. I openly stared at here soft, bald snatch and tried not to droll, too much.
She was saying something, but I couldn't hear. My mind was in battle with my now hard dick. My dick was telling me damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Ahead? Head? Lynn gave great head. My mind was telling me to tread lightly. Tact could lead to another visit to the land of milk and honey.
With a subdued leg twitch from my sister I quickly looked away and tried to negotiate a treaty between brain and balls. With the terms in of the treaty in place I was able to again hear words.
And those words were promises of the meatloaf of the gods, as prepared by the goddess on my sofa.
Soon I was setting the table as Lynn worked magic. The conversation about nothing soon became a police interrogation. Lynn was firing questions at 700 words per minute and I was answer without thinking.
"Why did you the ex break up"? - "She was annoying"
"Are you happy being single"? - "Mostly".
"Ginger or Mary Ann"? - "Yes".
"Red or white wine"? - "Boone's Farm".
"Star Wars or Star Trek"? - "Star Wars".
"Pork or beef"? - "Beef".
As this went on I began to fear my sister. A real fear. First I answered quickly and honestly without any hesitation. It took me 5 minutes just to answer my birthdate at the DMV. But there I was answering personal questions with no thought at all.
Then I realized I was giving away too many details about myself. Sure it was my sister but I was by nature a nonsharing person. She should work for the CIA. Or did she work for the CIA? Did my sister, my super hot sister, my super hot sister with a very talented mouth, my super hot with a very talented mouth and a pussy that tasted like rainbows and creamy gold wrapped in heaven really have that much control over me? Sadly I think she did.
By the time we finished eating I was mentally drained. I stumbled through cleaning up and dragged my ass to my room when Lynn said she was going to read in her room.
I got on my computer to check out a blog about video games, I mean muscle cars and saw a list of new bookmarks. Bookmarks with odd names. About 10 others.
A pornsite I never heard of? I knew alot, and I mean alot, of pornsites. I browsed around and saw the recently view videos. More than a few were about burglars and women alone having very hot and consensual sex. Same thing with Wank Bank.
This gave me an idea. A very bad idea. Or a very good idea.
Rooting through my closet I found a pair of black sweatpants and a slightly less black sweatshirt.
Now in the proper attire, I went by my sister's room to tell her I had to run out for something. She looked at odd but nodded before going back to her book.
Going to the door leading to the garage I opened and closed it. Making sure to not open the garage door, I then walked mostly quietly to the hall outside of Lynn's room was to the electrical box and flipped the main breaker. The whole house went dark, just like it was supposed too.
Now it was go time. I rushed into Lynn's room and pounced on her as she laid in bed. Putting my hand over her mouth I told her to be quite.
Because the time elapsed from getting an idea and acting upon the idea was less than three minutes, I didn't have a solid plan in place. Lucky for me I paid attention to Whose Line Is It Anyway and learned some sweet improv skills.
"Where is the cash", I asked in my best bad guy voice.
"I only have a few dollars in my purse", Lynn answered in a clearly faked scared voice.
"What the fuck", I spouted as angry as a first time burglar with a raging hardon could muster.
"Fuck it. I'm not leaving without something", I said.
"Take your pants off," I kind of demanded, kind of asked.
