*Author's Note: Any and all persons engaging in any sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.
*****
Danny Boudreaux did not like Todd Tonicetti, had not liked Todd Tonicetti from the moment his daughter Hillary had brought the young man over to meet him, and certainly had not liked Todd Tonicetti when he found out that his daughter was pregnant with Todd Tonicetti's baby.
"Oh, whatever, Daddy," Darlene Guidry, his eighteen year old girlfriend laughed and kissed him. "You're not going to like any boy that goes out with your daughter."
"Not true," Danny argued. "I like Ryan, Connie's boyfriend."
"Uh, because he worships you?" Darlene asked and leaned heavily against Danny as he rubbed the Vitamin E cream into her pregnant belly.
"His good taste has nothing to do with it; shit, I'm going be late for my next client," Danny said.
"Uh, who's one had to come home for a quickie?" Darlene smiled and hoisted herself to her feet.
"A quick bite to eat," Danny said and slapped her on her widening buttocks.
"Same thing," Darlene giggled.
He passed by Kurt's cage and the cockatoo greeted Danny by telling him he was ugly.
"Might be ugly, you ugly ass feather duster, but I just got laid," Danny agreed and offered Kurt a treat.
Outside, Danny paused to enjoy the autumn air, then unlocked his van and climbed in.
He was surprised; he was actually beginning to enjoy having Darlene Guidry in his trailer, constantly underfoot, constantly in his way, constantly clinging to him. The resentment over her getting pregnant the first time they made love was slowly beginning to slip away. The resentment over her being constantly stoned and drunk, while he went out and busted his ass to support them was slowly beginning to slip away.
She was a mess, but it beat having no one to talk to but a screeching cockatoo.
Then his good mood evaporated as Todd Tonicetti drove his oil burning, gear grinding Nissan past him.
The boy, in Danny's opinion, was a complete waste of organic material. He was chronically unemployed, perpetually stoned, and believed he knew everything. Which was why his car was burning oil and grinding gears. Because Todd knew how to fix it.
"Your daughter's choice," he grimly reminded himself.
Todd also fancied himself as a Guitar God.
"Some guitar god," Danny sneered. "Fucker doesn't even know who Mick Mars is."
Danny drove to Kimble, Louisiana, found Natalie Worthington's house and parked.
"Hi," an attractive strawberry blonde woman answered the door.
"Hi, said your washing machine acting up?" Danny asked as he caught a glimpse of a nude brunette passing from living room to hallway.
"Yeah, and with baby diapers, I really need that machine working," Natalie agreed and glared over her shoulder at Brianna Charles, her lover.
"Well, let's see what we got," Danny agreed as he followed the woman out to the utility room.
"Hi," an adorable two year old girl said, stumbling into the small room.
"Well, hi there!" Danny said. "And what's your name?"
"Say 'my name's Ophelia,'" Natalie coaxed her daughter.
The girl mumbled something that may have been Ophelia, but Danny was already looking for the cause of the machine's malfunction. In a moment,
He saw what part he would need.
He went out to his van, located the part, and returned to the house.
Again, he caught a glimpse of a nude Brianna Charles, large breasts bobbling as the woman scampered out of the room.
"Brianna, damn it!" Natalie yelled.
"Brianna, damn it!" Ophelia parroted.
He installed the part, reattached the hoses and slid the bulky machine into place.
"Yay!" Natalie laughed as the machine gurgled into life.
"Ask him about the TV," Brianna called out from the hallway.
"You wouldn't know how to do televisions, huh?" Natalie asked.
"Yeah; actually how I got started," Danny agreed. "Some dumb ass shit for brains think if you fix one, you can't fix the other, but, if it's got a cord attached, I usually can figure it out."
"It runs for about forty five minutes then just shuts off," Brianna said, now wearing an extremely short robe that was very loosely fastened.
"And let me guess," Danny said. "It never happens during commercials. It only happens when he's about to kick the game winning field goal, or she's about to shoot the abusive husband, or they're about to do 'Final Jeopardy,' right?"
"How'd you know?" Natalie laughed.
Danny followed the two women into the living room and looked at the wall mounted television.
"Got the remote?" he asked.
"Right here, on the table," Brianna said, bending over to retrieve the device.
"No, uh, not the cable remote," Danny said, enjoying the close up glimpse of the young woman's nicely rounded buttocks and thatch of brown pubic hair. "The uh, the remote that came with the television."
Brianna looked on a bookshelf, even squatted, with her legs spread wide, and then shook her head.
"Y'all put it, at the right height, for a certain little girl to get her hands on it?" Danny suggested.
"I'll go check," Brianna volunteered.
"Must be psychic," Brianna praised, returning with the remote in hand, her robe fluttering loose.
"And..." Danny said and entered the code.
He went through the settings, then smiled widely.
"Uh huh, seems a certain young lady set the 'Snooze' function for forty seven minutes for y'all," he said.
He wrote out the bill for the labor and the parts for the washing machine, but did not charge for the television repair.
"Oh no, we got to pay you something," Natalie insisted.
"What?" Danny smiled. "Took me all of two minutes?"
He thanked Natalie for the twenty dollar gratuity, silently thanked Brianna Charles for the unobstructed view of her Double D breasts and brunette thatch, told Ophelia good bye and left the house. As the door closed, he chuckled; he could hear Natalie yelling at her lover about her 'shameless display.'
He had two more repairs in the Kimble and Bender area and completed them, then headed toward his trailer in Jack's Creek, Louisiana.
The moment Danny pulled up to his trailer, he saw his daughter waiting for him, sitting on the small front porch, legs dangling off the edge.
"No, no, and fuck no, no more money," Danny said to himself. "Tell Todd Tonicetti he needs to grow the fuck up and go get a job."
"Daddy, can I..." Hillary said as he got out of the van.
"Can you what, Hillary? Pay me back for the three hundred dollars y'all needed for Todd's car? Why of course you can. Can you pay me back for last month's electric bill? Yes, that would be fine. Can you pay me back for the rent and late fees from July?" Danny said as he got his tools out of the van.
"How much we owe you so far?" Hillary asked after a long moment of silence.
"Twelve hundred and fifty bucks, but who's counting?" Danny said, helping the pregnant girl to her feet.
He kissed his daughter on her lips and playfully swatted her on her backside.
"Sweetheart, you're nineteen, I can't tell you what to do," Danny sighed. "But I can make suggestions."
He unlocked his trailer's door.
