Everyone having sex is at least 18. This is fiction, I made it all up. Special thanks to goducks1 for his help.
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Chapter 1 - Just Visiting
I wake up to my phone going off. I am tired and sore. Every muscle in my body hurts. I moved in to my new home yesterday and was up late unpacking my stuff. Much of it will be replaced in the coming weeks. What looks great in a fancy downtown New York condo looks like crap in a backwoods Colorado log cabin. A cabin I designed and had built for me on a bluff overlooking a valley. It's a gorgeous home and property, the views are amazing.
The thing is ringing again, I shout at the metal and plastic phone, "Shut up!"
It doesn't listen. The call goes to voicemail. My phone rings again. Son of a bitch!
I pick up my phone, swipe, and shout, "What's so fucking important?"
Donna says with a shocked voice, "Well someone is rather crabby this morning. It's 10:00. Get your ass out of bed and answer your door. I have coffee, juice, and donuts."
I smile, "You had me at coffee. I will be right out. Oh, the door is open by the way. Come on in." I hang up.
I am still asleep, I put on my shorts and an old t-shirt with holes. I step into my sandals and take in a deep breath of clean air. I left the heat off last night and opened the windows for a good breeze. I stumble my way downstairs and open the door. I told her to come in, why is she outside still? Donna hits me with a hug and a kiss. We sit down inside at the kitchen table. The movers put the furniture in place. I can offer my sister at least a place to sit down. Coffee sounds like a good idea.
Donna says with a smile, "I'm so glad you came back home. I missed you so much. Oh damn, did you drink too much last night? Your shorts are inside out, you didn't answer your phone, and you look a truck ran you over."
I stand up and take off my shorts and flip them inside out and put them back on. They are on the correct way now.
Meanwhile, I account for myself, "I left New York at 5:00 AM, seven hours between two flights, watched the movers unload, and stayed up till 4:00 AM unpacking." I turn fire engine red. "Oh fuck, I didn't have underwear on, sorry."
Great start, 30 seconds in and you are flashing your SISTER! What a dumb ass I am.
Donna looks unphased, "I have had boyfriends before, you all look similar. Drink and eat, you have a lot more to do. I am here to offer my services. I bet I can do the kitchen, dining room, and living room. You can do the bathrooms, bedrooms, garages, gym, and your office. Your office will take half the day," She says playfully. "I bought breakfast and stuff for making lunch and dinner, you won't have to stop."
I take a donut, it's fresh and soft, oh so good. She knows I like bakery.
Now that I have woken up, "Ok, now what do you want? You aren't doing this because you like me. Last I remember, me leaving fourteen years ago was good news to you. I do enjoy your homemade Christmas cards. Your daughter calls me every two weeks. From the video chats, she sure has turned into a beautiful young woman."
Donna is defensive, "You were my favorite brother, I was mad at you for leaving me alone with mom and dad. Trish is an awesome person that I'm very proud of. She's the main reason I am here. She is eighteen and won't date. I think she has a crush on you, so I developed a plan."
I say with disdain, "Oh, this should be rich. Can I just give you a blank check now? It will probably hurt less."
Donna gives me a stern look, "I am not pimping my daughter. She refuses to talk to me about sex. Every other month my friends get together for a party. We are going to have a sex toy party for Trish on Saturday. All my friends talk about is men, so I am hoping this will draw her out. Between the embarrassment of the toys and the frank conversation of their recent experiences, I hope she might open up to one of us."
I am confused, "So why are you here again? It doesn't sound like you need me for that."
Donna looks at me like I am dumb, "It's my turn to host. I live in a run down 700 square foot apartment. You live in a gorgeous 4000 square foot log cabin mansion overlooking a valley and river. This type of house wins awards just because of the interiors. Your exterior is like an extension of nature, it matches perfectly. Your fireplace is gorgeous and warms the room. The views are magnificent."
Donna sniffles, "I am jealous as hell at how successful you are. I'm a failure at everything. Yes, I want to take advantage of your success and show you and your home off to about a dozen attractive and successful young women. Doctors, lawyers, business owners. And not one of them is currently married. Most, like me, have been married and divorced, some several times. Just once, I want to know what it's like to be them."
I stun her by saying, "Ok."
No fighting, no haggling, no negotiating, just an off-handed OK. That was a hell of a lot easier than she expected. I know she was expecting a fight. I can see it in her eyes. Since it went so easy, she is confused now.
Trish told me that her mom was fighting some self- confidence issues, so I am going to do all I can to help. It's a big part of why I moved back. However, I don't want her to know that. Donna is weird sometimes. She hates when people help her. She just told me how she isn't thriving, yet I bet many people would help her if only she let them. It's hard to be her brother, I can only imagine what it's like being a friend. I have plenty of money and a great job. I could help but no, not Donna.
I did not explain to Donna why Trish does not talk to her. She has been talking to me for years and I bet she is far more knowledgeable than my prudish sister. She sure is in for a surprise. I dare say daughter has more experience than mother. I want to meet her friends. This is a fantastic way to meet a bunch of single women in their 30's. The odds are slim I will date one, but hey, it doesn't hurt to look.
Donna comes over and embraces me in a hard hug. I wince in pain. My body is sore. Sitting in a plane seat, sitting in an airport waiting area, and then unpacking boxes are all things I don't do. My body is sore.
Donna looks at me with concern, "What?"