"Say farewell to the dark of night, I see the coming of the sun.
I feel like a little child, whose life has just begun..."
~Brian McKight
He flinched from me touching his shoulder with the cold bottles' bottom rim. He had been outpacing me two to one since we sat down about two hours ago on the patio.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I quizzed.
He took a healthy swig from the bottle of icy cold microbrew and sighed loudly. Then belched.
"Nah," My brother Jeb shrugged. "Just thinking about Ma, and how much that we loved to come here...so long ago, it seems, great memories."
"Keep piling up dead soldiers like you are, and you won't have many memories!"
"Shit!" Jeb laughed, pounding down the last of his bottle before popping the top on the one that I brought him. "I consider this weekend a mini-vacation. I'm not going anywhere tonight, so I might as well enjoy this fine Colorado microbrew!"
Jeb tilted back the bottle and greedily gulped down about half of its contents, then winked at me.
"BBRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!"
We both laughed like kids at his amazingly loud and amazingly long burp.
I downed a big mouthful myself and surveyed the scenery from the second story patio of our family's cabin near Beaver Creek, Colorado. It was a gorgeous, warm summer evening and the most ideal place on earth right now. Save for the circumstances of us being here.
The cabin had been in our family for generations now, built by my maternal great-grandfather as a summer get-a-way, and/or a winter ski lodge. It had been in heavy use until my brother Jeb and I graduated college and started our lives. We now rented it out to the tourists who wanted a weekend excursion and this weekend was the first time that I had been there in at least five years, my brother at least three. Mother absolutely loved it here on these five acres which is why we are here now.
We came here to spread her ashes over the land that she so loved.
I don't think that one can be prepared for the loss of a loved one, regardless of the preparation. Mom had been sick for some time, and when I finally dragged her to her Dr., she had just a few months left; Stage 4 cancer. She refused treatment...felt that it kept her from Dad. Damnit! She was so young, not even 60. Dad had passed from a heart attack seven years ago, and mom just had never been the same. Her first love at the age of 13.
They were married at seventeen and dad started his thirty five year career in the new family's business. They waited on children and after ten years, there I came, quickly followed by Jeb.
Jeb and I were always tight growing up; dad said that we were 'joined at the hip', he followed me everywhere that I went, even when we grew up and went through high school and all of the teenage drama. Neither one of us really dated seriously through high school, our parents wanted it that way as neither of them went to college and were determined to see us with our degrees. We just got involved in anything and everything extracurricular, from sports to the school paper.
Jeb and I were best friends growing up, and then life kind of got in the way. We went to different colleges, he got an amazing career. Me? I took a position in Chicago, met, and married a horrible, horrible human being who felt that intimacy needed to be shared with as many women as possible, and also liked the white powder a bit too much, and I don't mean snow. I finally got out of that ordeal and moved back to Dallas to be with my family and restarted my career as a fashion designer. Jeb and I just never really were ever close again after high school, until mom's cancer. The last few days felt like the old days again. Sometimes.
"Hell-o!" Jeb shouted at me.
I jumped, startled at his yell.
He laughed at me. "Now who is in La La Land?"
"Uh, sorry, I, uh..."
"Do you want another beer? I'm going to break the seal and grab another."
"Yeah. Yes, I'll start dinner while you are doing that." I said. "I picked up some fat steaks in town today."
He stood up tall and said through outstretched arms, "Juicy steaks, ice cold beer and a beautiful woman? What more can a man want?"
I shooed him off as he trotted inside, laughing.
Jeb didn't look a day older than when he was in his late teens, early twenties, maybe just the hint of some crow's feet around his eyes. Tall and dark haired, he took after mom so much. He swam all through high school and then for his team in college for four years; and kept up the physical activity. He always joked that the gym was his mistress, and you could tell. Broad shoulders and chest led to a trim, tapered waist then flared out to muscular legs and he walked with a lithe, athletic gait. Whenever we went anywhere together, I always noticed the ladies checking him out.
"Damn, that was a damn fine damn steak!" Jeb pushed his plate away from him, ceding.
"Well, I am glad that you liked it!" I said proudly. I always loved to cook for a man.
Jeb refused help with the dishes and ordered me to just relax as he poured us some wine. He cleaned and dried the dishes and joined me back out on the patio with a bottle of wine. We sat out there and watched until the sun was long retired and downed the wine and talked and talked and talked.
I had been rambling on about something; I can't quite recall what it was, when I realized that Jeb had been silent for some time.
I looked over at him and he was staring right at me!
"Wh-what?" I said nervously.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you for all of those years." He said solemnly. "More so, I am sorry that it took our mother dying to bring us back together again."
I reached over and took his hand.
"Aw, Jeb! I was 800 miles away; it was me that wasn't there!"
"You say that, but I should have known. Should have saved you from that prick."
"It's not like we were really talking all of that much for those years, not like before." I said quietly.
"It seemed so awkward all of the time." Jeb said as he poured the last remnants of the Cabernet into our glasses. "I just wish that the last fifteen years had been different, that it never happened."
Jeb stormed into the house for the umpteenth time, slamming the door and trucking up the stairs to his room, slamming the door shut yet again.
"I don't think that it was practice that has him upset." Mom said. "Poor baby, girl problems."
"More like bitch problems!" I added cattily. I did not like Jeb's new interest, Amy.
"Brittany Jane!" Mom yelled in mock anger, "watch your mouth, little girl!"
I ran to her from the couch with my lower lip sticking out, "Mommy, I sawwy, mommy!" I hugged her fiercely.
She hugged me back and reached for her car keys.
"Daddy won't be back until late, his dinner is in the oven on the bottom shelf," Mom said, kissing me on both cheeks, "Y'all's is in the oven on the top shelf. I'm off to play cards at Catherine's!"
I gazed up the stairs towards our bedrooms, thinking that I should go talk to Jeb. A light rapping later, I opened his door.
He had stripped down to his boxers and was stretched out on his bed, tossing a tennis ball into the air and catching it lazily.
"What do you want?" He said somberly.
