Just like that, my life changed. My father had told me that it was best for me to move out. He needed to make sure that appearances were kept with the family's standing in the community and having a son fall in love with his half-sibling was unacceptable. It was a crushing blow, but not something I was completely unfamiliar to since within the entire scheme of things in my family, I was the black sheep, nothing but negatives was a reality I was used to. Luckily, he had given me time to find a place, which with the money I have been making, didn't take long. The news to Katie nearly destroyed her. My father had pulled her aside and assured her that there was no other way. Katie is a child from two worlds. Not being fully Chinese, she never really understood the protocol that they followed so blindly. I stand in my room packing my things that I had just finished packing not too long ago. Katie was sitting on my bed helping me fold my clothes into duffel bags.
"Where are you going to move to?" Katie asked as she looked at me with puffy pink eyes from all the crying that she has been doing.
"Hoboken."
"New Jersey?"
"Yeah, I found a nice apartment in the hipster area of town. I can see right into Manhattan from my living room balcony."
"That isn't far away. It's like thirty minutes by subway from NYU."
I placed some clothes into a duffel bag and took a deep breath, "Katie, I don't know if it is a good idea if you came to see me."
"What?"
"Dad made a point that he doesn't want us having interactions outside of family events."
I could see Katie's heart crushing right before my eyes. Her eyes welled up with tears, "What are you saying?"
"Maybe some time apart will be good for us." I lied. "It will give us time to have our own space. You can have a right to a normal life. Be a normal college student. I just feel you being with such an older guy like myself isn't healthy for you."
Katie shook her head, "How can you say that?"
I shrugged my shoulders and packed more clothes into the duffel bag. "Katie, I told you this from the beginning. No one will understand how we feel. Society will never accept it, no matter what fantasy television show is making it seem normal, it is still taboo. Our family will never accept it. Our friends will be shocked by it. People will judge. And, what if we wanted a family? Have you thought of that at all?"
"I'm not looking for their acceptance, nor am I caring what others think." Katie said as she began to cry softly. She sat there in her usual little shorts and my sweatshirt. She played with her fingers and I can see her shaking from crying. "All I want is you. I don't care about anything else. I don't know why you can't seem to wrap your mind around that."
"You have so much to look forward to Katie. You are smart. You will have a good career. And, with time, I am sure you will find a nice man to be happy with. It's a bright future out there for you." I said trying to reason with her, but as the words left my mouth, they left a sour taste behind. I hated what I was saying to her. All I wanted to do was scoop her up in my arms and love her till the end of time.
"There is no bright future without you."
"Katie..."
She looked up at me. "You remembered what I said that night? I will never change how I feel, never. I swear."
"I remember."
"Then why do this?" she asked. "Why do you even care about what dad and the family thinks?"
"I..."
"You left the first time, when they were against it. They didn't talk to you for months. They turned their backs on you. You had to come home and beg for them to accept you. You did perfectly fine without them."
"I know, but this is different. I don't want them turning their backs on you."
Katie cocked her head slightly, "Are you being serious?"
I nodded.
Katie stood from my bed and walked up to me. She ran her soft hands across my face and my beard. "They never accepted me. They never loved me. I only have eyes for you. I told you I will always love you, near or from afar. If you can't understand I can and will give everything up for you, then I guess you never loved nor have you accepted me into your life. Hearing and seeing you pushing me away now confirms that I truly am alone in this world."
"Katie..."
She kissed me softly on my lips. The tears on her face streamed onto mine. She broke her kiss and walked out of my room. "I hope you find what you are looking for. I just lost everything that I ever wanted."
* * *
Work ended up being the only thing that kept me from going insane. I sit in my apartment working on editing photographs from products that I flown to Hong Kong to take pictures of. Deadlines were my drive. I tried everything I can to keep Katie out of my mind. It has been an entire month since I had moved away from the family house in Brooklyn. It has been a month without a single word from Katie. Not a single text, or email, or even a call and hang-up from her. I wanted to contact her the moment I left, but fought against it. A part of me lied to myself and tried to convince me that she had finally gotten over the hurt and maybe she had moved on in life. Which, if she did, I only wished her the best.
A knock at me door shook me out of my thoughts and my work. I got up and opened the door to see Katie's friend standing there. It was winter in New York. She was covered with snow and brushing it off her jacket and hat.
"You are a hard man to track down."
"Jenna?"
She nodded, "You remembered. I guess I made a good impression."
I poked my head out of the apartment and looked down the hallway in hope to find Katie standing there, but she wasn't. "What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?"
"Sure." I said as I let her into my apartment. She was stunning looking even covered with snow. She hung her jacket up on the hooks behind my door and revealed her curvy body in a tight-fitting white blouse, a short brown skirt that ended well above her knees, silky stockings and boots that came up past her knees. Jenna sat down on my couch and crossed her legs seductively. The inner part of me wanted to rip her clothes off and ravaged her where she sat, but my heart lingered for Katie so much that it overwrote everything my body desired.
"Can I offer you a drink?"
She shook her head and pursed her sultry lips. "I won't be here long enough to indulge."
I went into my kitchen and poured myself a glass of juice and looked up at her before sipping from the glass, "So, why are you here?"
"Katie."
"How is she?"
"How do you think?"
"I hope she is doing well."
