That hit me like a punch in the stomach! I knew that sooner or later she was going to have to find out but I wasn't quite ready for her to know this soon. Judging from how Jill was acting tonight she didn't take it well and I was worried about what this would do to her especially coming right after leaving Uncle Joe and thinking she was coming home to her loving family for peace and stability.
I lowered my head and looked down at the table and began to get angry, "So, what did you tell her? Did you tell her that we all fuck each other and anybody else that shows up? That our main activity seems to be sex! That if she wants to stay here she will have to be another pussy in the herd!"
Mom sat up straight, slammed the drink she had just picked up back on the table – I was surprised that the glass didn't break – and said, "Watch your mouth. I don't like that tone or what you just said or what you are implying! Before Jill got here you certainly did not complain about your herd of pussies, did you? Besides, it didn't seem to bother you and Karen this morning when you two were screwing on the deck!"
"You were told to be discreet and I don't call fucking on the deck discreet! For your information mister, it was that little episode that Jill did, in fact, witness that made explaining everything to Jill necessary."
With that Mom folded her arms across her chest and glared at me challenging me to say something else.
Kate played the peacemaker. She put her hand on Mom's shoulder, "Now, I'm sure that Ken really didn't mean what he said as being an accusation, did you Ken? He just misspoke."
When Mom is pissed twice in one day you are treading on very thin ice.
I realized I'd crossed the line and immediately regretted my choice of phrases. I shook my head, took a deep breath and said, "No, I didn't. Look, Mom, I'm sorry that came out that way. Karen and I put you in a bad spot and you just did what you thought had to be done. But, I'm worried, is Aunt Jill going to be okay?"
Mom softened a bit but was still angry. "I hope so but frankly I don't know. It was quite a shock to her and I'm not sure she is ready to deal with learning everything about us." She paused and shook her head, picked up her glass and drained the remainder of her drink. "Truth be told, I think the fact that you have such an uninhibited love life bothers her almost as much as the incest and the knowledge that I'm in a lesbian relationship with Kate."
"What? What do you mean that she is bothered by my sex life?"
"Ken, I think that she is either in love with you or at the very least infatuated with you."
I rocked back in the chair. In love with me, infatuated? No way!
"Aw, come on, that's bullshit."
Mom didn't say anything but let what she said sink in for a minute or two while she held her glass out to Kate who took it, got up and walked into the kitchen to refill it for her.
Sitting up and putting her elbows on her knees and lowering her head so that her chin was resting on her hands said, "You and she have always been close. When you were very young the two of you were more like older sister and younger brother than aunt and nephew. Then, as you got older you saw her as your very sexy aunt who was your first masturbation fantasy and she started to see you as her fantasy lover. Hell, you two sometimes looked more like boyfriend/girlfriend than aunt and nephew. Her obsession with you at that age is a fairly common form of transference that doesn't usually cause too many problems because it is relatively guilt free. But if it continues over a long period of time it can become a serious problem."
Now I was worried! Damn psychology! But, given everything that Mom said, I couldn't argue with that part about her being my masturbation fantasy, her and her damn green bathing suit! But that part about me being her fantasy lover, or her being obsessed with me, well, that was just psychological bullshit!
Mom continued, "Let's take a look at the entirety of the situation. Jill finds herself in a failed marriage to an older man who is not paying her any attention. There is no family close by and probably not that many close friends for her to talk to so she seeks consolation by having an affair with a younger man, a man about your age who, if I don't miss my guess, probably even resembles you! Then, when she comes to the realization that this is just making the situation worse realizes that she has to leave the marriage. So, she decides to come home to me and to you, her sister and her nephew. She wants to come home to a place that is safe and loving. Subconsciously she now puts me in the role of sister/best friend and you in the role of nephew/lover, not so much physically but emotionally!"
Kate returned with a drink for Mom and also for me. We each took a sip and Mom continues, "So what happens? She arrives to find her family is not just you, me and Karen but also Kate. Instead of coming home to live with me in my house she is coming home to live in Kate's house, instead of being one of four she is one of five and that changes the dynamic for her. She is just starting to adapt to that when, to confuse things even further yesterday, her first day 'home' you admit to her that you have had sexual fantasies about her and you even play a little fondling/petting game with her in her room. That just reinforces her fantasy about you, now she has real hope that there could be a relationship between the two of you.
How in the hell did Mom know about me feeling her up in her bedroom?
"Now her fantasy about you is coming alive and her expectation for the two of you having a relationship also begins to move from fantasy to reality. You are married but she can deal with that, especially when she senses that you and your wife are less than restrictive when it comes to the marriage bed. She is rediscovering her sexuality and then she comes downstairs this morning to get some coffee and what does she see but you and Karen naked and fucking on the deck. So, she watches you two having sex in clear view of the house and she finds that incredibly sexy and fantasizes about it being her instead of Karen that you were fucking."
I was becoming even more concerned and now, even a little scared.
"Ken, keep firmly in mind that this is a woman who is under a great deal of stress. She has given up everything that she thought was hers, her marriage, her husband, her friends, and her home. She has left them all behind, she has nothing but us. I am important to her as her sister and now, her best friend but you, in some ways you are even more important to her as her friend and soon-to-be lover.
Mom stopped and took a sip of her drink. I was sitting listening to this almost in shock. Kate just sat and watched the two of us while sipping her drink.
Josie put her drink down and continued, "Now, what happens next? After coming down and seeing you two on the deck and making you stop, get dressed and leave, I walk into the kitchen to find Jill watching all of this from the kitchen window. When I get over that shock and start to apologize she stops me and in an almost little girl fashion she confides in me that she was getting horny watching you two having sex and she also confides in me that she wishes it were her having sex with you instead of Karen. She then tells me about your little petting scene in her bedroom. She is convinced that you want her as much as she wants you and she asks me if I will be mad at her when you two begin to have your affair. Kenny, this is fantasy moving to reality but with everything else that is going on it is dangerous fantasy!"
Mom leaned forward and looked at me, "We all knew that sooner or later with Jill living here she would discover our relationships. We all knew that sooner or later I was going to have to tell her about us. The problem I have been having was to try and determine if it was better to let her continue with that fantasy about the two of you or to tell her about the reality of our lives, to determine just when the shock of that knowledge would be less dangerous to her mental and emotional state so that she was better able to deal with it. Look at how you reacted when you found out that Kate and I were lovers. And when you found out that your wife, Kate and I were lovers. And when you realized that you and I would become lovers as well. You are about as well balanced mentally and emotionally as anyone I know and yet you had several days that you were emotionally unstable and trying to come to grips with that knowledge. Imagine how Jill is taking it!"
I shook my head in wonderment. "But, Mom, when Karen and I hade sex....."
"Ken, it moved up the timetable. It forced me to tell Jill something that I was not going to tell her until I thought she was more emotionally balanced, more able to deal that knowledge. As a result, right now she is one very confused and conflicted lady and she is very pissed. It is impossible for me to even begin to understand what she must be thinking about you and me. I'm not even sure what our relationship with Jill is going to be in the future. She may reject me, or you or both of us. She may develop a generalized anxiety disorder as a result of this, I simply do not know."
I closed my eyes and felt guilty like I had never before felt guilty. To think that my fondling Jill and then Karen and I fucking on the deck might cause more problems for Jill was almost unbearable to me.
I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. What do I need to do?"
Josie shook her head. "Frankly, I'm not sure. Christ, all of this is theoretical, I'm not a practicing psychologist! But, we have to do something, that's for sure!"
She took another sip of her drink. "Well, all things considered she seemed to handle the information fairly well. At least she didn't go to pieces when I told her but that, in itself, is suspect too. Naturally, she was shocked to find that we all have sex with each other and participate in group sex among ourselves and with others. But it didn't seem to bother her to learn of the relationship that Kate and I have, or even that Karen is involved with us because I suspect that she is a latent bi-sexual herself. Also, surprisingly, sex between you and I bothered her but not to any extreme that I could see probably because she has had her own incest fantasies involving you. I would say that she seems to be more disturbed by you having almost unrestricted sex with such a wide variety of women, almost a jealous reaction as if you have betrayed her."
I just shook my head. This was so hard to grasp. Jill was jealous of me having sex with other women but less jealous of me having sex with my mother?
"Ken, you have good instincts, for a man. You are warm and caring and you genuinely try to support people and make them comfortable. Rely on that instinct. If Jill avoids you, don't press her; let her come to you when she is ready. If Jill comes to you accept her and treat her like you always have, with love! Frankly, I think she will come to you very soon and, if I don't miss my guess, it will be for sex. Sex is often confused with love and she is seeking our love. She is going to want to know that you lover her and she may equate this to you finding her sexy. She is going to want to be reassured that you won't exclude her. If she does approach you that way treat her gently. Make Jill feel special but not too special, if you know what I mean."
