I've found through experience that things seldom end up the way we plan. Call it fate or karma, or whatever the hell you want to call it. I just call it life.
Growing up I always had big plans and big dreams. There were about five different professions I was sure I was heading for growing up, until the next idea grabbed me and changed my mind. Now I have a degree in marketing and I'm a consultant for a co-op of medium sized, privately owned businesses. That was never on my mind when I was growing up.
I also had several girlfriends over the years, a few of which I 'knew' were the one. But usually after a few months or a long summer break the relationship would fizzle out and we would move on, as was typical for a high school kid with no clear vision of the future yet.
But eventually I did meet a wonderful girl. Diane and I had a couple basic courses together in college, although she was focusing on child psychology and not marketing. Nevertheless, we hit it off. She was smart and witty. And she was also beautiful. She was average height at just under 5'6", but she was fit and had amazing curves in all the right places. She was one of those girls that looked great in any state of dress from formal to completely naked.
We dated for a little over a year. And each day we spent together was better than the day before. Our relationship was great, both intellectually and in bed. Diane loved adventure and was always interested in exploring new things. She was also an enthusiastic lover and liked to experiment just enough to keep things interesting.
Eventually we got married. We both had two years of schooling left and so we were in no hurry to start a family or make any big plans yet. We were both content to share our lives together, and worry about the future when it arrived. We've enjoyed what I would consider to be four good years of marriage. We both received our degrees and found jobs with great potential. Things appeared to be heading in just the right direction.
That is until about six months ago. There's nothing that I could put my finger on at the time, but something changed in our relationship. I noticed she was growing a bit distant and often seemed distracted. Whenever I asked her about it she simply shrugged it off as work-related stress. But I had a strong feeling it was something more. And as the weeks passed I began to suspect that she might be having an affair. At first I didn't want to admit it to be true. But looking back at the signs that were there, it's clear that she was seeing someone else. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. I had no proof other than the feeling in my gut. There were a lot of circumstantial indicators that something was going on. But nothing I could put together into a rational argument without sounding insecure.
Then to make things even worse, my little sister called me on the verge of tears one evening and told me she had similar suspicions about her husband of three years. My sister Alexus and I come from a family that stressed commitment and keeping your word. Our parents had both died when I was in college, our mother from cancer and our father from a heart attack two years later. And as we grieved together we vowed that we would live our lives with the same values that our parents had. They had stayed together through hard times and good times over a marriage that lasted nearly 25 years. So it was difficult for us to face the notion that we both had spouses that didn't hold the same values, and were very likely being unfaithful.
Over the next couple of months Alexus and I continued to talk on the phone whenever we could. She and her husband lived in another part of the state, about two hours away. So we still saw each other several times each year. But the circumstances we now faced drew us even closer together. With our parents being gone, and with our spouses' infidelity, we were all we each had left.
Then about three weeks ago we both came to the same disturbing conclusion. Not only were we sure that our spouses were cheating, we had discovered evidence that they were having an affair...with each other. My wife had been shacking up with my sister's husband whenever they found the opportunity. Again, with hind sight being much clearer, we should have seen the signs. They both worked in the same industry. Diane was a children's counselor, and Alexus' husband Chad was a high school guidance counselor. They had obviously met at one of the many conventions they attend each year and had hit it off in such a way that they felt the need to explore a relationship with each other.
The final confirmation came when they both announced their plans to attend a week-long conference in Portland. Since both Alexus and I had growing suspicions that something was going on I called the hotel they were staying and, pretending to be Chad, confirmed his reservation was for a Mr and Mrs. And when Alexus called to inquire about Diane's reservation we learned that she hadn't made one. It wasn't definitive proof, but it was enough for us.
Now sure how to deal with things we decided that Alexus would come and stay with me for the week they would be gone. She told Chad that she wanted to do some 'shopping and stuff' and I explained to Diane that it would be a great opportunity for me to spend some time with my sister. The conference started on a Monday morning so they made plans to fly out on Sunday evening. And since the main airport is close to my house, Chad and Alexus drove over. The four of us had dinner out and then Alexus and I dropped them at the airport. It was an awkward couple of hours as Diane and Chad did their absolute best to pretend they were nothing more than colleagues. But their body language and fleeting eye contact with each other betrayed them.
Finally we put them on a plane and Alexus and I headed back to my house. We had barely made it in the door when Alexus collapsed into my arms in tears. We made it to the couch where we held each other silently for nearly an hour. We were both reeling from the realization that we were both losing our marriages. But there were really no words for the moment.
Eventually she composed herself and said she wanted to get settled and cleaned up. I brought in her suitcases for her and helped her get settled into the guest room, then left her alone. When she finally emerged a while later she had changed into her pajamas and robe. She had showered and cleaned herself up, but she had obviously still been crying. We held each other for several more minutes before deciding on one last check-up on our spouses just to confirm what we already knew.
Since it was already late we assumed that Chad and Diane would be getting ready for bed. So I called my wife's cell phone just to wish her a goodnight. She answered, sounding a bit tired and also a bit annoyed. But she did her best to sound like she missed me. I told her I was just making sure they got in ok. She assured me that she did, then insisted that she was very tired and about to get into bed. At that moment, Alexus called Chad on his cell phone. He has a special ring tone for her so it would be clear who was calling. And sure enough, as I was saying goodnight to Diane I heard Chad's cell phone ringing in the background.
Alexus had essentially the same conversation with Chad that I had with Diane. But we both could tell from our conversations that our spouses were in the same room and both were getting ready for bed. So we said our goodnights, having received the final confirmation that our spouses were sharing a hotel room, and about to share a bed. We were already sure about our suspicions, but the final confirmation was still a big blow. We sat on the couch and held each other while we did our best to keep ourselves from going nuts and falling apart. Then agreeing that we should get some rest and try and sort things out in the morning we both went off to bed. Fortunately I had informed my clients that I was going to take a few days off so I wouldn't have to work all week. And we were obviously going to need the time to make sense of things.
